News from a reporter as non-biased as Jag for 6/23/09
A very slow day, at first. COP completely terrified to come to Fel. THEN the late afternoon rolls around. Reports of shock and awe roll in to the news desk; COP was doing a spawn!!! This reporter runs down to the supposed sighting location. Wonder of wonders, thar she blows!!!! It was COP...and in Fel!!!
3 SCAM roll down into Despise to take on 5 COP. Well, it was under a 2 to 1 odds..thus COP
. COP rebounds and comes in with 6. Surely they could now take down the paltry number of the rescuers of the shard now!! Umm..nope
All dead and in stat again. Another SCAM member rolls in taking the brave defender's numbers up to 4. They now decided to go ahead and kill COP's coon. Thank you went out to COP for the fine worthless scrolls. Woe is SCAM (or is that Woo is SCAM...bah..strange thought), another wave of COP and this time they mean business!! 10 defenders of the COP R.U.L.E.S. virtue come screaming like banshees into the fray and into the star room. Although the valiant shard rescuers killed many of the Brave Sir Robin brigade, they eventually and finally fell to the number assault, but not before getting the all important worthless scrolls out. The score ended up being; COP 4 kills, SCAM 19 kills. A glorious victory for COP, since they kept their kills tally under 20 COP members dead. Several reports came across my desk indicating that Ruffles may have actually giggled with glee.
There was a short lull in the fighting and then the storm hit! COP finally decided that they were tired of owning Trammel and showed up with a massive force of 13+ at the Yew battle grounds, known as their house. SCAM managed to get up 7 shard rescuers to take on the horde, in their house. COP was sure of a clear victory, as their brave leader KMS was on the scene along with most of their "A-Team". Ohhhh..SCAM was in for it now!!!
KMS screams to his troops; "We are taking the shard back!! Go forth and kill the terrorists!!", from inside their house.
They made a mistake though, the flock thought that KMS actually meant for them to leave their beloved 4 walls!! Out of the house they came, with even greater numbers than before, and the battle ensued! Inexplicably, they seemed to trip up on the house steps, being unaccustomed to being outside their beloved 4 walls, and most of them fell face down in the fresh dirt and returned to their accustomed UO screens of black and white. I guess it saves color burn into their monitors. Unconfirmed reports of some of them mentioning that they did not even know this game had color came in from several sources. For the glory of their leader, they did manage to kill a couple of the shard rescuers tho.
REGROUP! screams KMS and once again they are all comfortable within the confines of their beloved 4 walls. Being the master of PvP that he is, KMS says to his flock; "I shall bring forth my greatest PvP skill to deal with these upstarts! I need 5 volunteers to go out and die, to keep the attention of the terrorists while I apply my most unholy and mighty PvP skill against them!" 5 brave designated dead people were then chosen to go out against the 7 SCAM now assembled. They were assured that they would be ressed quickly and their sacrifice was expected. The screams of the dying were almost drowned out by the taunts and farts being cast in their general direction by the shard rescuers.
The battle, if you could call it that, began. While his flock was being slaughtered, KMS the Brave runs with all speed into town and with all the courage in his pinky toe, begins to chant " I am Sheriff" beats PvP skill! Over and over he screams the magic words at the top of his lungs. Soon, more than 50 faction guards are assembled and he sends messages to his flock to join him, for surely his "I am Sheriff" skill would now win the day!!
The COP horde makes a beeline for their masterful leader, confident in their combined victory now. Most of them trip and fall down on their way in. KMS looks down on his flock with kind eyes and says "Stay with the guards, they will protect you from all harm my children. Be not afraid." Reports later said that they could actually hear coconut shells being clicked together in the background.
The 7 shard rescuers now are looking at a force of 60 + aligned against them. Surely they would now be utterly defeated, for the faction guards are well known to be vastly superior in skill than the summoning members. But, WTF, into battle they went. Witnesses said they could not explain it but COP members fell like wheat to the scythe, as did the guards. But no fear, as long as KMS could keep the courage up to keep summoning more guards, they would prevail. But something was WRONG!! Surely the UO Gods were not smiling down on Ruffles brave soldiers!! Has KMS stepped in something putrid? They could not kill a single SCAM member!! The faction guards managed to get a few kills but the COP members seemed to be having trouble just standing up. They kept falling down, surrounded by their guards, with laughing SCAM members removing their possessions. One COP member was reported to say "Its OK, I like black and white better", although these reports can not be confirmed.
Finally, it seems that their brave leader KMS said "I surrender" (or he broke his keyboard) because the guards stopped coming (or they ran out of silver), his flock was slaughtered and he finally just stood there and unceremoniously.... died. :loser:
Cop was not seen in Fel again this night.
Final tally for that fight: 1 SCAM dies to COP, 4 SCAM died to guards. I lost count of the COP deaths but a VERY conservative number would be 30+ died to SCAM. Of course, the 100+ guards were also killed.
Lesson for the day: "I am Sheriff" does not beat PvP skill!!
All in all; Thank you COP, for showing up and providing entertainment and news, although it would seem to be counterproductive to claim to own the shard when you and yours are not here.
COP R.U.L.E.S.