No one cares what the European Commission has to say about this, or that you have Erectile Cancer, or whatever you're trying to tell us! (Well actually, if you have Erectile Cancer then you have my sympathy, but anyway.) This is about loooot!
And yes I am totally serial about this guys. Need colored names. Regular crap in the regular yellow, then pink, then green, then orange, then... not purple, that's WoW... then... electric cyan! Glorious electric cyan!
My inner lootmonger hungers for fancy colors. Oh and random artifact names. Not just "X longsword of Y". That's fine for most items, but the best crap should have totally different random names based on the type of item they are. Like if a plate helmet drops with the best level of mods, don't call it a "invincible plate helmet of sweetness" call it... SKULL BUCKET! Or... BEAST DOME! Or some other weird randomized vaguely helmet-related name!
Oh man give those highest-level items random hues too! Sure you can dye them if you don't like the color, but that'll REALLY tell you "Hey stop and look at this thing!" when you open the corpse.
Because then you'll be like, this is my metallic purple Skull Bucket. MINE. You can farm Shame for the next billion years and probably never get another metallic purple Skull Bucket with just those properties. That item is one of a kind.
I demand loot! Not just any loot, FANCY loot!
EDIT: By the way, this loot already makes everything in Doom look even stupider than it already did. Your new boss wants to revitalize old parts of the game, overhaul Doom with new arties.