Chuck Norris trivia for everyone....
*Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
*Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
*They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
*Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Chuck Norris ripped both of his arms off and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sow his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire.
*When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
*Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
*Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".
*Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
*Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made
*In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Chuck Norris was coming. (my favourite)
*Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
*Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
*There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
*Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.
*Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."
*Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.
*Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.