The Husband Store...AKA OT Babble Thread!!

[Oriana]

ROFLMAO!!! You beat me too it!!! I'm in the process of finding that perfect pic of a bar of soap, but been soo busy.

 

[shard]

Ummm, guys Shard's flavor of MOD SOAP would be green like Irish Spring or something.

Just saying.

Green like the pollen that is blowing out of the pine trees all over the place.

Green like all the plants that are coming to life.

Green like a traffic light.

Green like uuuuuu, mmmmmm, my truck.

The visit to my folks has been pushed back to next weekend for a number of reasons. One reason would be that it will be my birthday weekend. Happy Spawnday to me is coming soon. Yeah, I'm spawn. Deal with it bishes!

*wonders if bishes will warrant a dose of MOD SOAP*

 

[Guest]

Oh my gosh! You forgot your <font color=green> green mailbox</font color=green>. I'm shocked after you took the time to put that thingie up.

Happy early birthday Shard!!!! I hope you're blessed with many many more happy years in life and on UO. *HUGE MAMA HUGS*

 

[Guest]

Happy birthday Shard!

 

[Oriana]

*Eyes Shard*

*Looks at Mod Soap*


It's your birthday soon, I'll let you off the hook.

But behave Or I'll get ya!!

 

[Guest]

<blockquote><hr>

*Eyes Shard*

*Looks at Mod Soap*

It's your birthday soon, I'll let you off the hook.

But behave Or I'll get ya!!

[/ QUOTE ]
Mama2 has spoken!

 

[shard]

Thanx for the well wishes, folks!

 

[Guest]

Not that I am keeping track or anything ... *snicker*

 

[Guest]

I keeled the babble thread?!?!


*cries*

 

[Guest]

Awe....no you didn't m'dear. We're all too busy dying in Moonglow to even post much. Come join us! You can collect death robes with the best of us. *sheepish grin*

 

[Oriana]

Ya come join the chicken brigade!!!!

Lots of fun feathers, and sometimes a roast or two lol.

Ok back to packing!!

 

[Chango Pelon]

Chuck Heston died last night. RIP...

 

[Guest]

That's sad news to me. There will never be another Moses like Heston and he's one of the very few people in Hollywood who I did admire.

 

[Oriana]

WOW!! That is a loss. Heston was great!! *pouts* The apes will never be the same.

 

[UOFaerr]

<blockquote><hr>

Chuck Heston died last night. RIP...

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it would be hilarious if they put these on the ground for his head stone...

Commence babbling.

 

[imported_Merv_DeGriff]

<blockquote><hr>

Commence babbling.

[/ QUOTE ]

i for when real numbers just piss you off.

 

[shard]

Ummmm, babble.

Less is more.....

 

[imported_Nicholi]

I reeeally should get over to moonglow and try out that new event...

 

[Mama Faith]

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

“That’s nice,” she thinks, “but I want more.”

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.



Please Note:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth, and six floors have never been visited.

 

[The Slug]

Well @#$%, I applied at that Husband store & they told me I'd be in the basement...now i find out they don't even have a basement. *sighs*

 

[Oriana]

*giggles and snorts uncontrolably*

Well I guess it's time for a new OT Babble thread and Mama has started it!!

Ori

 

[Mama Faith]

It's only right. Anyone who has met me knows I'm the Queen of Babble. *embarrassed grin*

So I have a question for 'those in the know'. Is Stratics going to stay with this format or will the forums be returned to their regularly scheduled programming? I have to say that I don't mind this now that I've gotten used to it. The only thing I'll miss is the old threads I'd go through when I had nothing to do.

P.S. Ori, do you have the ability to change the title of this thread to "Babble Thread"? If so, go for it lady!

 

[Leana Sidhe]

Thanks for the thread.... I needed that laugh!!

 

[Oriana]

I honestly can't say I know what the plans for Stratics are at this point. Even we staffers are a bit left in the dark. But I'll let you all know as soon as I can.

I can't change the title name Mama but I may be able to do something else in a bit.

Ori

 

[Yalp]

Heee Hoooo Haaaa! Hee Hee!

LORD Yalp of Zento, CTDM

 

[Intoxication]

LMFAO
Mama you're the best. ill have to come babble with you soon. been a long time.

 

[Mama Faith]

It will be good to see you come 'babble' with us on Baja! I miss all the fun of just being silly and forgetting about the seriousness of life for a while. And on that note, I'm waiting for some jokes to show up on this thread. Forget about being "PC" and just share some laughs. Come on everyone....I dare ya....I double dog dare ya.

 

[Intoxication]

A WOMAN'S POEM
> He didn't like the casserole
> And he didn't like my cake.
> He said my biscuits were too hard...
> Not like his mother used to make.
> I didn't perk the coffee right
> He didn't like the stew,
> I didn't mend his socks
> The way his mother used to do.
> I pondered for an answer
> I was looking for a clue.
> Then I turned around and smacked the **** out of him...
> Like his mother used to do.

 

[The Slug]

OK not so much a joke as a scary realization from a twisted mind. So anyway, Superman had a dog named Krypto with all the same powers. Well, that scares me. Does anyone realize how dangerous that is? If that dog went to sniff someone's crotch he would rip their lungs out of their rear end. And... if he tried to hump someone's leg, he'd put them in traction for a year.

 

[Mama Faith]

I'm sitting here laughing at both of you guys and your jokes. Good ones! The hubby and I are visiting our two older sons and helping them with home improvements. Since I will be 'UO deprived' for another week, this is the next best thing for humor. And btw... I'm not slacking off right now; I'm waiting for them to return from Lowes so I can start destroying paneling. Ugh! Why would anyone put poo brown paneling over sheetrock? It's just not right. :gun:

 

[DebiHIS]

hey girl, good to see you're still on . Ive been watching my grandbaby, and now another one is on the way, but i still check in from time to time!

 

[Xel The Wanderer]

Okay, here's an oldie but goodie joke; always good for a chuckle! It's OT-ish, and it's blinkin' pirate humor! ARRRRRR!

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender notices something...

Bartender: "Oy, pirate! There's a steering wheel on your penis!?"

Pirate: "Arrrr! I know! It's driving me nuts!"

*waits for the joke to sink in*

Thank you, thank you! *takes a bow*

 

[FenrirsFangs]

wait! the topic of this thread is off topic so to be on topic i have to be off it so that means i need to be off off topic which is ontopic but then if im on topic i wont be posting off topic DAMMIT, i guess i just won't post.

 

[Sara Of Baja]

wait! the topic of this thread is off topic so to be on topic i have to be off it so that means i need to be off off topic which is ontopic but then if im on topic i wont be posting off topic DAMMIT, i guess i just won't post.

It'll be okay, Fenrirs!

 

[Oriana]

wait! the topic of this thread is off topic so to be on topic i have to be off it so that means i need to be off off topic which is ontopic but then if im on topic i wont be posting off topic DAMMIT, i guess i just won't post.

*Hugs* Fenrirs we all have those moments. (just ask Sara I have more than most lol)

 

[Crow]

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth, and six floors have never been visited.

The only problem I see with that reflection on relation of man and woman is a lot of women can fit in to those catagories.

I'm probably going to catch heat for this, but the reverse can be considered no less offensive then the standards put on guys stated in the first part.

I would say that a lot of men would go to the next floor, ignoring all those catagories to find a woman that is actually good looking

 

[Oriana]

The only problem I see with that reflection on relation of man and woman is a lot of women can fit in to those catagories.

I'm probably going to catch heat for this, but the reverse can be considered no less offensive then the standards put on guys stated in the first part.

I would say that a lot of men would go to the next floor, ignoring all those catagories to find a woman that is actually good looking

Crow......You're thinking this through too far!!!

*passes Crow a drink*

In fact here have several on me!!

Ori

 

[Orvago]

I can't change the title name Mama but I may be able to do something else in a bit.

Feel free to come to me or any UO Forum Admin for assistance in getting a thread's title changed or fixed if it is not displaying properly. We have a couple tools that Mods do not for such a purpose.

 

[Mama Faith]

Well I'll be darned! You're still around Debi? That is fantastic. I've stopped by your house in Tokuno but have yet to catch you. Congratulations on the grandbabies. We still don't have any here and that's OK since I really don't think my kids are ready for the responsibility...even if they are adults. Take care of yourself and PM me sometime. *HUGE HUGS* woman.

 

[Mama Faith]

Dang!! I wish my husband read this forum. After reading Fenrir and Crow's posts, he'd never accuse me of overthinking anything ever again. *ROFL* You guys are crazy.

And Xel...for the 69th time, put that steering wheel back!

 

[Xel The Wanderer]

Dang!! I wish my husband read this forum. After reading Fenrir and Crow's posts, he'd never accuse me of overthinking anything ever again. *ROFL* You guys are crazy.

And Xel...for the 69th time, put that steering wheel back!

Okay, I laughed my bum off at that one! *sniffs and wipes tears away*

Mama Faith blinkin' knows the subtle nature and nuance of steering wheels! Thank you for the laughs, I seriously almost spewed the last of my sake on my screen!

 

[Crow]

Haha Ori, if you think I over think sober you don't want to hear me drunk

 

[Oriana]

Xel I about hit the floor laughing when I read your joke. The pic of Cap't Jack just made it even funnier. My 15 year old asked what was so funny so I told her, and told her to think of Jack, I never saw her laugh so hard lol. Thanks for that Xel.

And Mama you just kill me!!!! Love it!!

Crow, lol on second thought, *takes drinks away* lol I know you're a good guy!! But let's not tempt fate!!

Ori

 

[Oriana]

Feel free to come to me or any UO Forum Admin for assistance in getting a thread's title changed or fixed if it is not displaying properly. We have a couple tools that Mods do not for such a purpose.

I got my work around (btw I love the combine threads feature!!) but next time I'll hollar at ya Orv thanks bunches!!

Ori

 

[UO Relic]

Well not a joke more things to make you go hmmmm.

So if Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus -

Mars:
AKA God of War
The Red planet is mainly a dust covered wasteland though recent examination has shown possibilty of ice under the surface,
known to have dust storms that can cover the whole planet for months,
orbit is significantly elliptical,
has Olympus Mons: the largest mountain in the Solar System

Venus:
AKA Aphrodite (Goddess of Love and Beauty)
AKA Lucifer (for its morning apparition)
rotation is somewhat unusual in that it is both very slow and retrograde,
its orbit is synchronized such that it always presents the same face toward Earth when the two planets are at their closest approach,
brightest object in the sky except for the Sun and the Moon




So what can we infer from all this:

The Male (Mars) is subject to violent mood swings that can last a long time, pretty much what you see is what you get, and that he has the biggest . . . . (well this is PG)

The Female (Venus) definitly has multiple aspects to her personality but always tries to show us her best face, and can take forever to get ready. She also glows with her inner beauty

And that our two orbits will never let us see eye to eye and never go the same way!!


hehe ok yes I did have to much time on my hands this morning

 

[Orvago]

I got my work around (btw I love the combine threads feature!!) but next time I'll hollar at ya Orv thanks bunches!!

Ori

No problem If your work around works, sweet! PM me though if you would this work around method, I believe I know what it is though and used it once or twice myself if it is before I found the other tools I had.

 

[Mama Faith]

I'm glad you did UO Relic. That was way too close to the truth and I enjoyed it. The only thing is where do we women who only take 15 mins. to get ready fit in? I'm usually the one standing around tapping my foot when the husband isn't ready when I am. *grin*

 

[UO Relic]

I'm glad you did UO Relic. That was way too close to the truth and I enjoyed it. The only thing is where do we women who only take 15 mins. to get ready fit in? I'm usually the one standing around tapping my foot when the husband isn't ready when I am. *grin*

HEHE Mama I know you, when your husband is finally ready is when you would remembers that you forgot to do something and run back to do it

btw its Volde

 

[Mama Faith]

HEHE Mama I know you, when your husband is finally ready is when you would remembers that you forgot to do something and run back to do it

btw its Volde

I should've known it was you by the sass. *LOL* I miss that when you're not around to pick on me.

 

[Xel The Wanderer]

Xel I about hit the floor laughing when I read your joke. The pic of Cap't Jack just made it even funnier. My 15 year old asked what was so funny so I told her, and told her to think of Jack, I never saw her laugh so hard lol. Thanks for that Xel.

*laughs and thumbs up*

I'm glad that you and yours got a great laugh out of it! It's a powerful joke, indeed!