Any newblets looking for work?

[Wulf2k]

If you've got... let's say.... at least 80 in some sort of main skill, and don't mind minor workplace hazards like 'death', lemme know in the next half hour or so. I've got hundreds of wacky plans simply waiting on minions to pull them off, so odds are i'll be able to use you somehow regardless of template =]

Employee benefits include a share of the loot, and not being stabbed by me.

Overqualified applications will also be considered, though the title of 'minion' is non-negotiable.

 

[Stiel]

I am the best damn monster food you will ever meet. But unfortunately i am still working. Going on 14 hours :/. But if you offer this soem otehr time i would be more than happy to lend my dying services to you..

 

[Wulf2k]

Usually I have no shortage of people dying around me, so this offer will be pretty sporadic, mostly limited to when I'm either bored, or just in the mood to give somebody an npc bought dagger and point at a paragon skeletal dragon. I'll keep you in mind though =]

 

[Stiel]

haha thanks...I havent had much uo time lately. been really busy. I just wish rot gaisn coudl be made all at once..Not having to wait teh 15 minutes and such between each one. I dont have enoguh tiem to get all my gains each day. But im on my way home now. I should be hoem in like 20-30 minutes. if yoru offer still stands then I would lvoe to join you.

 

[Dor of Sonoma]

While such an offer is undeniably awfully tempting, I fear that I am not qualified enough to be a minion.

*scuffs toe in dirt*

 

[Wulf2k]

Being a minion isn't all hard work and shattered internal organs.

For example, we've got an opening in our HR department overseeing the group's morale.

The dress code is flexible, as long as you're wearing a pink dress.

Your job would mostly involve running around me in a circle, singing "2 4 6 8, Wulf is gonna decimate".

Get back to me. You've got potential.

 

[Guest]

Well...I have said before, Wulf, that minions are much more sophisticated these days, and will likely require a more clearly defined benefits package than, me maybe no stab you.

If you are truly bored, I will allow you to clean my stables. I am generous like that. Besides, these priests I keep hiring part-time really don't do the job well enough.

-Skylark

*edit*

<blockquote><hr>

Being a minion isn't all hard work and shattered internal organs.

For example, we've got an opening in our HR department overseeing the group's morale.

The dress code is flexible, as long as you're wearing a pink dress.

Your job would mostly involve running around me in a circle, singing "2 4 6 8, Wulf is gonna decimate".

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that is a start in the right direction!

 

[Wulf2k]

<blockquote><hr>

will allow you to clean my stables. I am generous like that.

[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm.....

Access to house...check.
Occupant of house at home...check.
Pointy object...check.
Enough stamina to swing arm 37.4 times...check.

After careful deliberation, I have decided that your offer intrigues me.

 

[Guest]

Excellent! But I feel it only fair to warn you, that the black horse poops a whole lot.

And I will be even more helpful, and recommend someone that fulfills your pink dress requirement for a cheerleader:

-Skylark

 

[Wulf2k]

It takes more than the ability to fill out a dress eerily well to earn the position.

Have him come up with a few motivational phrases like the one listed above, and I'll see if he's got what it takes.

 

[Stiel]

Hmm i have to wear a pink dress....My fantasy coem true...I mean umm

*runs away while he still has soem dignity left*

 

[Wulf2k]

Don't be silly. You're a minion in the "Meat Shield / Manual Labour" division.

A pink dress like that wouldn't leave you enough mobility when mortally wounded for your thrashings to attract anything worth killing to your carcass.

 

[Wulf2k]

ICQ (5285549) or PM me if you're still up for it.

 

[Wulf2k]

A meer eternal paragon chest, and not a minion in sight to split it with....

 

[Dor of Sonoma]

May the gods smite me dead where I stand, should I ever don anything Pink.

*shudders violently*

I fear that I thus lack the requisite bravery for enlisting in your service.

 

[Guest]

<blockquote><hr>

It takes more than the ability to fill out a dress eerily well to earn the position.

[/ QUOTE ]

It isn't hard when you know the secret.

-Skylark

 

[imported_Castor]

what the heck???

 

[Guest]

Now don't be upset, it wasn't that big a secret...it is kind of obvious that you stuff.

And for the record, for anyone wishing to copy the fair Castor's ensemble, and apply for a cheerleading position on Wulf's staff, I feel I must bring up the subtle matter of differences in colors. These dresses were both made out BOD reward cloth, but the one on the right, which is the color Castor favors, is clearly LILAC, while the other is true PINK, which is what Wulf specified. Canines are color blind though, so I'm not sure that it will make that much difference in an interview, but I felt it is important information to have.

-Skylark

 

[Nerf-Herder]

Too funny!

 

[absimiliard]

<blockquote><hr>

<blockquote><hr>

will allow you to clean my stables. I am generous like that.

[/ QUOTE ]
Hmm.....

Access to house...check.
Occupant of house at home...check.
Pointy object...check.
Enough stamina to swing arm 37.4 times...check.

After careful deliberation, I have decided that your offer intrigues me.

[/ QUOTE ]

ROFL!

Thank you Wulf, this was the thread I wanted to wake up to today. Not the whole drama about another Puffy rip-off. I admit Puffy's gotta be Puffy, but I don't like the wrecks he leaves on the side of the road.

You on the other hand, well, you gotta be Wulf. To be sure. But you don't leave wrecks around, you just leave bodies. How can a Sieger not love that?

I won't wear a dress, but if you need a part-time minion Lindisfarne would happily play cheerleader for you some night. Sounds like fun. (Lindi would of course rather hunt you, besides he makes an awful cheerleader, he looks horrible in a skirt and war-paint.)

-abs

 

[imported_mo'gluk]

i believ some in is a practicing Threadomancer.....

 

[Guest]

*RTLFC*

Why are we bumping year old thread??

Makes reading the forums rather annoying.

 

[Nerf-Herder]

<blockquote><hr>

i believ some in is a practicing Threadomancer.....

[/ QUOTE ]

OOPS, my bad, sorry Glukster... I have been smoking crack and banging orc females.

Guess it isn't too far from Wulf style hookers and blow!

 

[Guest]

<blockquote><hr>

*RTLFC*

Why are we bumping year old thread??

Makes reading the forums rather annoying.

[/ QUOTE ]

Aside from the why, there is the how. I didn't know you COULD bump a year old thread, I thought once they hit the archives, as this one should have done, they were un-bumpable. Plus it made me sad because Wulf isn't actually around these days to recruit minions.

I forgive you though, Nerf, and to show you I am sincere, I will allow you to clean my stable too. I will even provide you with your choice of pink or lilac dress for stableboy uniform.

-Skylark

 

[imported_Castor]

<blockquote><hr>


I forgive you though, Nerf, and to show you I am sincere, I will allow you to clean my stable too.

[/ QUOTE ]

did i get demoted again?

 

[Nerf-Herder]

HA!
She chooses me!

*wipes crap from face*

This job sucks... (except for the cool pink robe!)

 

[Shadow Tamer-SP]

<blockquote><hr>

HA!
She chooses me!

*wipes crap from face*

This job sucks... (except for the cool pink robe!)

[/ QUOTE ]


No no no its a pink dress not robe

 

[Nerf-Herder]

Crap. I was hoping for something without a shape...

...and I refuse to shave my legs.

 

[Guest]

<blockquote><hr>

<blockquote><hr>


I forgive you though, Nerf, and to show you I am sincere, I will allow you to clean my stable too.

[/ QUOTE ]

did i get demoted again?

[/ QUOTE ]

Pffft, again? Oh ye of little faith. - just because I take on additional staff from time to time does not mean you have been demoted! There can be only one Head Stableboy, and as long as I have stables on Siege, that position is exclusively yours for as long as you want it. But consider that you have added a more than part time career of stabbing people this year, and you are well aware how much maintenance my establishment requires, and after all, someone has to stay ahead of the black horse's output. (I suspect he poops more because he is always closest to the hay pile, and the others don't get to eat as much).

@Nerf: I recommend a beauty treatment as follows: heat jar of Yew sap in a cauldron of water to approximately 110 degrees F, apply liberally to the legs, cover area of application with bandaids, allow the mixture to dry for about 15 min, then ask a loving guildmate to quickly yank off the bandaids. Voila! No razor involved, and you will have smooth legs that any stable boy would be proud to display beneath his pink or lilac dress! Yes, it is painful but no one said the job would be all fun &amp; games. And if you are concerned about filling out your dress, perhaps you can persuade Castor to share some of his stuffing techniques with you, then you too can achieve an enviable hourglass silhouette, as you are shoveling the poo-poo.

-Skylark

 

[Guest]

Oops...I figure I should tell you Nerf, before you commit to the stable boy job: there are now 3 horses in the stable, that pic at the beginning is over a year old. Blackie &amp; Brownie are...friends it seems.

-Skylark