I do not even know where to begin with my thoughts on this.
I think I will with where this all began with me.
I started this game at a time in my life when I was in a relationship at a point I was confused on it and I was heavily addicted to painkillers.
UO was an escape for me and at first I played it for the reasons everyone does and that is the sense of accomplishment and the cool things and you could achieve in it.
I had a hiatus and started to play allot more after I got off the painkillers and after my relationship ended and I was starting to care for my 85 year old grandfather whom was in failing health and had dementia.
At that time I had a few Friends in game but only one person up to that point I would have considered a rl Friend in Taboo Treats.
Since I was totally housebound caring for my grandfather I played allot and during that time I created my IDOC guild FAL.
During this time I made some mistakes like any gm did but I came to quickly realize the best way for me to make my guild successful at our play style was to recruit and play with only players that were longtime Legends veterans or those that had a ton of in game wealth prior to joining my guild so the risk of them betraying or stealing from my guild or its members was minimal.
Doing that though did something else. I would consider myself one of the luckiest gamers ever to play any role playing game because of that one decision. I happened to get what I consider the most loving loyal trustworthy passionate and compassionate players that were either directly in my guild or were close allies to it bye there associations of cross guilded players.
I have not been the easiest player to deal with and I have progressively gotten worse as I have scene the game I originally started playing for its content deteriorate and I diverted my position to playing the game soley for the wonderful loyal honorable people that honored me enough to take the time to call me a rl Friend and chose to spend there gametime calling me a leader. I know this has made me hard to deal with for anyone not in my inner circle and especially hard for those in opposing guilds and for that I apologize.
As many of you might have noticed I have not been scene really since I and others organized that Picture for Darlene a few months ago. I have been in shock really and wanted everyone to know I am doing ok and everything in my rl besides losing Dar is well and if anything between work and my new gf and my job I haven't been around at all.
Darlene to me is irreplaceable as a Friend and as a member of FAL and I will never forget her and hope that just maybe her kindness and willingness to see the good in everyone and love them regardless of there faults will be a way I can honor her. I knew awhile ago she was in failing health and thought that mourning her then would help soften the news when I heard she passed but it didn't.
She is the best example of what I got from this game as far as someone I would call a rl Friend and whom I loved for it and whom gave to me and my guild a part of herself and did so without any thoughts of reciprocation. Everyone that is or has been a member of my guild for any lengths knows me and knows I know there hearts well eneough to know they truly do consider me someone they could call in rl and really count on me as a true close Friend because of the fact everyone of them has extended me the same.
So I hope that clears up why I got heated allot is for the fact I was playing soley for the passion of pleasing and helping rl Friends and sorry again if any of you were victims of my wraith.
But I know I can say Darlene I love you and I miss you and I will try to be a better person just bye knowing you for the time I got to know you in you're mortal coil.
To all of my Friends on Legends and to anyone I have extended the invitation to become a member of Fal at any point that for me to do that means either I or someone I love has scene something in you that makes you a very special Friend and know I cannot thank all of you enough for how everyone on Legends had opened there hearts to help Darlene in her last days and to help grant her last wish that would have never been accomplished without all of you.
To my guild members presently and to those that are no longer playing I have almost all of you're email Addie's and aims and I will be in touch and know all of you have been some of my rl best Friends over that last four years and I cannot thank you enough for that and you're friendships and know no matter if I play again or not that you all might be subjected to rl visits from me because as my life progresses out of the online gaming world I hope our friendships dont degenerate with that fact.
So to Jade (kerri) New Thunder (five) Mal and Ally (of Jump gate) Nystul and his brother, Tori and Bam,Viper and his family Max, Marty (La),Fried Eggs, Taboo Treats, Leaf,Lord Bud Smoker, Fuzzy Bunny, Sandman (soul takers rl brother) and yes even Omnicron all of you for you're passion and friendships and know I will never forget any of you and know I will stay in touch with all of you and thank all of you for making Fal one of the best guilds to ever play on Legends. For anyone in FAL whom I forgot give me a aim and I will reprise my list since my mind has been wreaked and if I forgot you I am terribly sorry.
I Love You Darlene and sweet Angel you will always be missed and remembered.