R
Rainman
Guest
THE PEEKAY CLICHÉ (CRUDE LANGUAGE WITHIN || OVERCARING PARENTS LOOK AWAY NOW)
ACT ONE: SCENE ONE
(*curtain rises*)
(*Two people stand and talk near the bank about their adventures, about how things are going for them*)
"PK's suck, I dont want to die to PK's."
"Don't leave town."
"Town Sucks, I want to be a merchant and mine the rocks and chop the trees."
"Then learn how to fight, defend yourself."
"I don't want to learn to fight, I dont want to have to defend myself."
"Tough , Newb."
"Why should I have to fight? Why should someone else be able to affect how I play the game?"
(*In the background a merchant is seen walking just outside of the guard zone, tentatively. When he is satisfied the coast is clear, he steps forward. 5 people come out of hiding, pelting him with arrows. He drops almost instantly. His belongings remain on his warm body for less than 15 seconds.*)
ACT ONE: SCENE TWO:
(*The scene is changed, a designer peers into a terminal screen, reading design documents. He has just spent some serious time playing his own game, and attempted to enter a dungeon. Much to his amazement, the dungeons were not the fun adventure zones they were intended to be. Instead they were certain death and loss of wealth at the hands of other players. A colleague comes up behind him.*)
"What's up Ralph?"
"Well, Tom, I was just in the game, and I couldn't have any fun in a dungeon. No matter which dungeon I went to, I was just killed and looted by other players."
"Well, we wanted that kind of danger, right?"
"Right, but, not to this degree."
"Well, that seems like a rather subjective way of looking at it. I mean, one man's danger is another man's thrill right?"
"Right again. But I can't help but think that this isn't what people are paying for."
"Remember, nothing is secure in this game. Dungeons aren't secure, buildings arent secure. It's all insecure, and the players should know that."
"Right again."
(*In the background, a lone support phone operator quits their job in tears.*)
ACT ONE: SCENE THREE:
(*A group of people gathers around inside an empty building, equipped to the max. They are all speaking to each other in a strange garbled tongue*)
"GIMME REGS GIMME REGS GIMME REGS GIMME REGS GIMME REGS"
"Jh00ny, open gate"
"LETS GO"
"drop ruin"
"GO GO"
"GO!!"
(*we follow these men to their destination, through the gate.*)
"KAL VAS FLAM"
"CORP POR"
"haha! newbie!"
"POR ORT GRAV"
"AN EX POR"
(*The scene is one of lots of running around, there is confusion everywhere. There are no monsters in this dungeon, only people waiting for spawn*)
"mine!"
"gimme loot"
(*after about 10 or 20 minutes of this, the group calms down, the supply of victims diminishes in the dungeon, as word has gone out that the dungeon has PK's in it. The men recall or gate out of the dungeon.*)
(*The dungeon scene recovers slowly. One random person goes in, and safely comes out. in a few minutes people feel safe again, and return to trying to hunt down monsters. 15 Minutes later, yet another group of armed men gate in, and lay waste.*)
ACT ONE: SCENE FOUR:
(*Two groups of people stand around each other. The air is tense with confrontation. The silence is broken when one leader calls out to the other...*)
"KNAVE! You shall not have this land that our guild has rightfully claimed!"
"FOOL! You are outnumbered, and we are past the point of compromise!"
(*the two groups engage freely in tactical warfare on this battlefield. Each one pushing and pleading with the game mechanics to give them an edge in this confrontation. Many soldiers on each side fall. In the end you see a gory battlefield full of dead decaying bodies and rusting equipment.*)
(*PULL BACK, OUT OF THE GAME. We now see one of the people involved in this event as he is about to log off.*)
"Goddamn that was the most fun I've ever had. Sex with two women could not compare."
ACT TWO: SCENE ONE:
(*The game is down, a common occurence in this era. All the players are sitting on the internet with nothing to do. Idle hands bring them to the only place their fingers do the bullshitting.... the message boards.*)
[*]PK's suck, I hate PK's! They ruin the game! {NT}
[*] you newb! -NT
[*]Real intelligent post here</UL>
[*]I AGREE! {NoText}
[*]bl0w me }NT}
[*]WITHOUT PK'S THIS GAME WOULDN'T BE FUN!! {TEXT}
[*]It's just a part of the game, adapt and live. It is only a game -text
[*]stupid rolplayah! Without PK'ing, there would be no danger! NT
[*]Oh ya? What about monsters?
[*]You are gay
[*]Monsters suck, the AI blows and they never spawn. This game is about killing each other.
[*]SHUT UP.
[*]Well, killing randomly is bad, but the PVP in this game rocks.
[*]Dungeons were never designed to be safe - Red Named Person
[*]BB - PLEASE GET RID OF THE PKS! k thx
[*]That's BS, I should be able to be safe from other players.
(*Without moderation, Fuzzling in this environment becomes a non-option. Eventually the servers come back up, and these people resume their activities, sans random homosexual references and authoritative tense*)
ACT THREE: SCENE ONE:
(*We jump a year into the future now. Lots of changes have come down the pipe. The game is not the same. You see the bank in the foreground, where two different people are talking about their adventures. *)
"PK's suck, I dont want to die to PK's."
"Don't leave town."
"Town Sucks, I want to be a merchant and mine the rocks and chop the trees."
"Then learn how to fight, defend yourself."
"I don't want to learn to fight, I dont want to have to defend myself."
"Tough , Newb."
"Why should I have to fight? Why should someone else be able to affect how I play the game?"
(*There are virtually no merchants, even in town. In the background a merchant is seen walking just outside of the guard zone, tentatively. When he is satisfied the coast is clear, he steps forward. 15 people come out of hiding, pelting him with arrows. He drops almost instantly. His belongings remain on his warm body for less than 5 seconds.*)
ACT THREE: SCENE TWO:
(*A meeting at the company is over. The new designer is talking to the chief accountant.*)
"What's up John?"
"Oh, our customer number is way down. And our new customers are staying for a much shorter period of time. We can't explain it just yet."
"Really? Well what did those canceled accounts give as an explanation?"
"Oh, they said something about, getting killed all the time."
"Odd, this game was supposed to let players kill each other, hmmm."
"Maybe we should do something, to keep our customers."
"Well, We could make it harder to kill people."
"Sounds good."
(*Weeks later, melee weapon damage is halved.*)
ACT THREE: SCENE THREE:
(*A huge number of armed men, some somewhat disgruntled, are gathering for another gate to a dungeon. Their language grows more coarse and profanity laced the longer they remain in limbo waiting for the gate. Presently, two of the men reach the boiling point, and attack each other over "pixels" in a "backpack". Their guild stretches far and wide. They have more resources than even the game administrators ever dreamed of having, buildings lined up side by side so close that if a new player happens to walk by, escape becomes difficult to impossible.*)
(*A gate opens, and the men vanish through it. An old story plays itself out once again in a dungeon near you. No, this isn't disneyland, nor was it intended to be. On the other hand, noone pays to go to an amusement park so that other amusement park patrons can tell them what rides they can go on without having to defend themeselves and their property.*)
ACT FOUR: SCENE ONE:
(*Much has changed. A notoriety system was implemented. Stat loss now harms those who kill randomly.
(*We see two men by the bank, discussing their adventures. *)
"Stat loss sucks, I dont want to lose stats and skills."
"Don't kill randomly."
"That Sucks, Sometimes people just deserve it."
"Then learn how to be a merchant, find something else fun about the game."
"I don't want to be a gay merchant, I dont want to have to chop wood."
"Tough ."
"Why can't I kill? Why should the game company be able to affect how I play the game?"
(*In the background, we see a red player get too close to the guard zone. 20 blue "PvP'ers" rush towards him and slaughter him. His goods are looted in 2 seconds, and the blue players laugh at his 'stat loss' *)
ACT FOUR: SCENE TWO:
(* A gentleman from a big Corporation known as EEAY is in the offices today. He is concentrating on what matters to him most... the numbers. *)
"What did you guys pull in last week?"
"Oh, our subscriber base is increasing almost exponentially. We've totally reversed that one errant trend a while back."
"Really? What did you do?"
"We made it REALLY hard to kill other players in the game."
"Huh, and they said violence makes good games, weird."
"Yes, yes, our gross income is way up, and looks to continue as this genre expands."
"It just goes to show, welching on design goals really does pay off."
(*The men enjoy a hearty laugh.*)
ACT FOUR: SCENE THREE:
(*The once proud guild has been reduced to 5 members. They are laughed at, their characters are totally , and any time they leave they are hunted by blues. They are seen macroing off their murders.*)
".."
"*continues grinding*"
".."
"I AM MACRONG. afk kthx"
".."
"POR ORT GRAV"
(*This continues until a person in a red robe appears, asks for a response, and gets nothing. All the people who were caught macroing were disconnected, and their accounts marked for possible banishment.*)
ACT FOUR: SCENE FOUR:
(*We see the same old group of men, gathered around a field, preparing for battle.*)
"SUBMIT!! and live!"
"NEVER! DEATH FIRST!"
(*The battle begins, and as soldiers fall, those that live slowly turn red. All their names eventually become red. Much to their surprise, when some of the red players fall, they suffer stat loss, and are unable to be resurrected by normal shrines and healers. This becomes disconcerting, considering the battle took place "in-character". Some of the players quit the game because their characters took too much damage to repair. *)
ACT FIVE: SCENE ONE:
(*The game is down. Everyone is on the message boards ranting away.*)
[*]Stat Loss's sucks ass, I hate stat loss! It has ruined the game! NT
[*]Bring back pre-pasting biotch!! -NT
[*]moron. nt</UL>
[*]I AGREE! {NoText}
[*]bl0w me }NT}
[*]WITHOUT STAT LOSS THIS GAME WOULD BE ANARCHY!! {TEXT}
[*]It's just a part of the game, adapt and live. It is only a game -text
[*]stupid pk! Without stat loss, there would be no law and order! NT
[*]Oh ya? What about guards?
[*]You are gay
[*]Town sucks, You can't do anything fun in town. This game is about roleplaying with each other.
[*]SHUT UP.
[*]Well, killing randomly is bad, but organized PVP in this game rocks.
[*]We never intended for you to kill randomly - Red Named Person
[*]BB - PLEASE BRING BACK PRE-CASTING!! k thx.
[*]That's BS, I should be able to kill other players.
ACT SIX: SCENE ONE: (*FINAL SCENE*)
(*In the depths of EEAY's financial analysis room, a man reviews documentation for a review meeting. He finishes his report with a loose equation and graph representing the situation to present to his superior. The bottom line is good, the project to put up a game world has paid off, and the stockholders should be pleased. The negative press on the project has stopped or fallen into obscurity.*)
(* The report lands on the table in front of the corporate executive. He's puzzled*)
"So, even though people don't like this game, they still play?"
"Yes, apparently so."
"You mean, with all the things they don't like about it, or profess to, we're still turning a huge profit."
"It's all right there sir."
"We need to get our other subsidiaries to adopt whatever model they used. Then this business wouldn't be so risky."
"It's hard to disagree."
"Ya, and even harder to imagine that games could ever be so addictive as to keep people paying $10 a month for a game they don't like."
THIS IS FICTION, AND IN NO WAY MEANT TO REPRESENT ACTUAL EVENTS. ANY SIMILARITIES TO REAL PEOPLE, PLACES OR EVENTS, PAST OR PRESENT IS PURELY A RESULT OF A REPRESSED MEMORY IN MY MIND, AND NOT INTENDED TO REPRESENT FACT.
<font color=purple>"I am r0xx0red Horatio..."</font color=purple>
ACT ONE: SCENE ONE
(*curtain rises*)
(*Two people stand and talk near the bank about their adventures, about how things are going for them*)
"PK's suck, I dont want to die to PK's."
"Don't leave town."
"Town Sucks, I want to be a merchant and mine the rocks and chop the trees."
"Then learn how to fight, defend yourself."
"I don't want to learn to fight, I dont want to have to defend myself."
"Tough , Newb."
"Why should I have to fight? Why should someone else be able to affect how I play the game?"
(*In the background a merchant is seen walking just outside of the guard zone, tentatively. When he is satisfied the coast is clear, he steps forward. 5 people come out of hiding, pelting him with arrows. He drops almost instantly. His belongings remain on his warm body for less than 15 seconds.*)
ACT ONE: SCENE TWO:
(*The scene is changed, a designer peers into a terminal screen, reading design documents. He has just spent some serious time playing his own game, and attempted to enter a dungeon. Much to his amazement, the dungeons were not the fun adventure zones they were intended to be. Instead they were certain death and loss of wealth at the hands of other players. A colleague comes up behind him.*)
"What's up Ralph?"
"Well, Tom, I was just in the game, and I couldn't have any fun in a dungeon. No matter which dungeon I went to, I was just killed and looted by other players."
"Well, we wanted that kind of danger, right?"
"Right, but, not to this degree."
"Well, that seems like a rather subjective way of looking at it. I mean, one man's danger is another man's thrill right?"
"Right again. But I can't help but think that this isn't what people are paying for."
"Remember, nothing is secure in this game. Dungeons aren't secure, buildings arent secure. It's all insecure, and the players should know that."
"Right again."
(*In the background, a lone support phone operator quits their job in tears.*)
ACT ONE: SCENE THREE:
(*A group of people gathers around inside an empty building, equipped to the max. They are all speaking to each other in a strange garbled tongue*)
"GIMME REGS GIMME REGS GIMME REGS GIMME REGS GIMME REGS"
"Jh00ny, open gate"
"LETS GO"
"drop ruin"
"GO GO"
"GO!!"
(*we follow these men to their destination, through the gate.*)
"KAL VAS FLAM"
"CORP POR"
"haha! newbie!"
"POR ORT GRAV"
"AN EX POR"
(*The scene is one of lots of running around, there is confusion everywhere. There are no monsters in this dungeon, only people waiting for spawn*)
"mine!"
"gimme loot"
(*after about 10 or 20 minutes of this, the group calms down, the supply of victims diminishes in the dungeon, as word has gone out that the dungeon has PK's in it. The men recall or gate out of the dungeon.*)
(*The dungeon scene recovers slowly. One random person goes in, and safely comes out. in a few minutes people feel safe again, and return to trying to hunt down monsters. 15 Minutes later, yet another group of armed men gate in, and lay waste.*)
ACT ONE: SCENE FOUR:
(*Two groups of people stand around each other. The air is tense with confrontation. The silence is broken when one leader calls out to the other...*)
"KNAVE! You shall not have this land that our guild has rightfully claimed!"
"FOOL! You are outnumbered, and we are past the point of compromise!"
(*the two groups engage freely in tactical warfare on this battlefield. Each one pushing and pleading with the game mechanics to give them an edge in this confrontation. Many soldiers on each side fall. In the end you see a gory battlefield full of dead decaying bodies and rusting equipment.*)
(*PULL BACK, OUT OF THE GAME. We now see one of the people involved in this event as he is about to log off.*)
"Goddamn that was the most fun I've ever had. Sex with two women could not compare."
ACT TWO: SCENE ONE:
(*The game is down, a common occurence in this era. All the players are sitting on the internet with nothing to do. Idle hands bring them to the only place their fingers do the bullshitting.... the message boards.*)
[*]PK's suck, I hate PK's! They ruin the game! {NT}
[*] you newb! -NT
[*]Real intelligent post here</UL>
[*]I AGREE! {NoText}
[*]bl0w me }NT}
[*]WITHOUT PK'S THIS GAME WOULDN'T BE FUN!! {TEXT}
[*]It's just a part of the game, adapt and live. It is only a game -text
[*]stupid rolplayah! Without PK'ing, there would be no danger! NT
[*]Oh ya? What about monsters?
[*]You are gay
[*]Monsters suck, the AI blows and they never spawn. This game is about killing each other.
[*]SHUT UP.
[*]Well, killing randomly is bad, but the PVP in this game rocks.
[*]Dungeons were never designed to be safe - Red Named Person
[*]BB - PLEASE GET RID OF THE PKS! k thx
[*]That's BS, I should be able to be safe from other players.
(*Without moderation, Fuzzling in this environment becomes a non-option. Eventually the servers come back up, and these people resume their activities, sans random homosexual references and authoritative tense*)
ACT THREE: SCENE ONE:
(*We jump a year into the future now. Lots of changes have come down the pipe. The game is not the same. You see the bank in the foreground, where two different people are talking about their adventures. *)
"PK's suck, I dont want to die to PK's."
"Don't leave town."
"Town Sucks, I want to be a merchant and mine the rocks and chop the trees."
"Then learn how to fight, defend yourself."
"I don't want to learn to fight, I dont want to have to defend myself."
"Tough , Newb."
"Why should I have to fight? Why should someone else be able to affect how I play the game?"
(*There are virtually no merchants, even in town. In the background a merchant is seen walking just outside of the guard zone, tentatively. When he is satisfied the coast is clear, he steps forward. 15 people come out of hiding, pelting him with arrows. He drops almost instantly. His belongings remain on his warm body for less than 5 seconds.*)
ACT THREE: SCENE TWO:
(*A meeting at the company is over. The new designer is talking to the chief accountant.*)
"What's up John?"
"Oh, our customer number is way down. And our new customers are staying for a much shorter period of time. We can't explain it just yet."
"Really? Well what did those canceled accounts give as an explanation?"
"Oh, they said something about, getting killed all the time."
"Odd, this game was supposed to let players kill each other, hmmm."
"Maybe we should do something, to keep our customers."
"Well, We could make it harder to kill people."
"Sounds good."
(*Weeks later, melee weapon damage is halved.*)
ACT THREE: SCENE THREE:
(*A huge number of armed men, some somewhat disgruntled, are gathering for another gate to a dungeon. Their language grows more coarse and profanity laced the longer they remain in limbo waiting for the gate. Presently, two of the men reach the boiling point, and attack each other over "pixels" in a "backpack". Their guild stretches far and wide. They have more resources than even the game administrators ever dreamed of having, buildings lined up side by side so close that if a new player happens to walk by, escape becomes difficult to impossible.*)
(*A gate opens, and the men vanish through it. An old story plays itself out once again in a dungeon near you. No, this isn't disneyland, nor was it intended to be. On the other hand, noone pays to go to an amusement park so that other amusement park patrons can tell them what rides they can go on without having to defend themeselves and their property.*)
ACT FOUR: SCENE ONE:
(*Much has changed. A notoriety system was implemented. Stat loss now harms those who kill randomly.
(*We see two men by the bank, discussing their adventures. *)
"Stat loss sucks, I dont want to lose stats and skills."
"Don't kill randomly."
"That Sucks, Sometimes people just deserve it."
"Then learn how to be a merchant, find something else fun about the game."
"I don't want to be a gay merchant, I dont want to have to chop wood."
"Tough ."
"Why can't I kill? Why should the game company be able to affect how I play the game?"
(*In the background, we see a red player get too close to the guard zone. 20 blue "PvP'ers" rush towards him and slaughter him. His goods are looted in 2 seconds, and the blue players laugh at his 'stat loss' *)
ACT FOUR: SCENE TWO:
(* A gentleman from a big Corporation known as EEAY is in the offices today. He is concentrating on what matters to him most... the numbers. *)
"What did you guys pull in last week?"
"Oh, our subscriber base is increasing almost exponentially. We've totally reversed that one errant trend a while back."
"Really? What did you do?"
"We made it REALLY hard to kill other players in the game."
"Huh, and they said violence makes good games, weird."
"Yes, yes, our gross income is way up, and looks to continue as this genre expands."
"It just goes to show, welching on design goals really does pay off."
(*The men enjoy a hearty laugh.*)
ACT FOUR: SCENE THREE:
(*The once proud guild has been reduced to 5 members. They are laughed at, their characters are totally , and any time they leave they are hunted by blues. They are seen macroing off their murders.*)
".."
"*continues grinding*"
".."
"I AM MACRONG. afk kthx"
".."
"POR ORT GRAV"
(*This continues until a person in a red robe appears, asks for a response, and gets nothing. All the people who were caught macroing were disconnected, and their accounts marked for possible banishment.*)
ACT FOUR: SCENE FOUR:
(*We see the same old group of men, gathered around a field, preparing for battle.*)
"SUBMIT!! and live!"
"NEVER! DEATH FIRST!"
(*The battle begins, and as soldiers fall, those that live slowly turn red. All their names eventually become red. Much to their surprise, when some of the red players fall, they suffer stat loss, and are unable to be resurrected by normal shrines and healers. This becomes disconcerting, considering the battle took place "in-character". Some of the players quit the game because their characters took too much damage to repair. *)
ACT FIVE: SCENE ONE:
(*The game is down. Everyone is on the message boards ranting away.*)
[*]Stat Loss's sucks ass, I hate stat loss! It has ruined the game! NT
[*]Bring back pre-pasting biotch!! -NT
[*]moron. nt</UL>
[*]I AGREE! {NoText}
[*]bl0w me }NT}
[*]WITHOUT STAT LOSS THIS GAME WOULD BE ANARCHY!! {TEXT}
[*]It's just a part of the game, adapt and live. It is only a game -text
[*]stupid pk! Without stat loss, there would be no law and order! NT
[*]Oh ya? What about guards?
[*]You are gay
[*]Town sucks, You can't do anything fun in town. This game is about roleplaying with each other.
[*]SHUT UP.
[*]Well, killing randomly is bad, but organized PVP in this game rocks.
[*]We never intended for you to kill randomly - Red Named Person
[*]BB - PLEASE BRING BACK PRE-CASTING!! k thx.
[*]That's BS, I should be able to kill other players.
ACT SIX: SCENE ONE: (*FINAL SCENE*)
(*In the depths of EEAY's financial analysis room, a man reviews documentation for a review meeting. He finishes his report with a loose equation and graph representing the situation to present to his superior. The bottom line is good, the project to put up a game world has paid off, and the stockholders should be pleased. The negative press on the project has stopped or fallen into obscurity.*)
(* The report lands on the table in front of the corporate executive. He's puzzled*)
"So, even though people don't like this game, they still play?"
"Yes, apparently so."
"You mean, with all the things they don't like about it, or profess to, we're still turning a huge profit."
"It's all right there sir."
"We need to get our other subsidiaries to adopt whatever model they used. Then this business wouldn't be so risky."
"It's hard to disagree."
"Ya, and even harder to imagine that games could ever be so addictive as to keep people paying $10 a month for a game they don't like."
THIS IS FICTION, AND IN NO WAY MEANT TO REPRESENT ACTUAL EVENTS. ANY SIMILARITIES TO REAL PEOPLE, PLACES OR EVENTS, PAST OR PRESENT IS PURELY A RESULT OF A REPRESSED MEMORY IN MY MIND, AND NOT INTENDED TO REPRESENT FACT.
<font color=purple>"I am r0xx0red Horatio..."</font color=purple>
