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Siege Perilous Historical Society by the Numbers, 2017

Silent Singer

Certifiable
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
The Raw Numbers: Siege Perilous Historical Society by the Numbers, 2017
47 Weeks of UO Badassery. (And **** jokes. Don't forget the **** jokes.)

It's that time of year again in the Hyborian north, when the sun sleeps the longest and we hide our fingernails from the shamans. 2017 was an especially eventful year on Siege Perilous. Castles were sold, a large wave of fresh meat fed the Siege grinder, and a couple of quality folks survived to tell the tale. Siege Perilous (the player) showed us all how a dedicated soul could collect over 400 Sorcerer's Dungeon artifacts, @kelmo tried out a flair for the dramatic (appearing and disappearing at will), and Tanager, poor @Tanager , shepherded several classes of NOOB recruits before finally closing her doors for a long winter of crafting debauchery. Notable losses included @Victim of Siege, who true-to-name became a victim of real life, and now taunts us from the Aether (aka Stratics, the place where old Siege players join their kin around the Eternal Fire). @Tyrath died, and then bounced back surprisingly chipper. Malloc is still here.

New faces abound, and a new township as well. Socialism grabbed Malas by the balls and its UWSP has tenaciously clung on, putting together an impressive township that is perpetually ridden with Crimson Dragons. Though not quite at home in the Queen's English, this hardy group carried the shard's Artisan Festival on its back to produce more full trees than the majority of prodo shards. Combined!

Siege represented the AARP with all the dexterity GIL could muster at the 20th Anniversary party, and our very own Spiffykeen lunched with Lord British as he shared his terror of being trapped under the Titanic (and the almost certain dirty drawers that resulted). And speaking of GIL, EM Kincaid continues to terrorize the citizens of the land with his Killer Rabbits of Caerbannog and Soulles Minions disguised as simple dolphins. Even Parium returned, so a mixed year when you consider it. But then, without Parium we wouldn't have Kaisa, so at least that balanced out.

For those newer souls, the Siege Perilous Historical Society [SHPS] guild is a two person show. A sordid lineage of guilds and alliances resulted in @Spiffykeen and myself among a pile of ashes, and encouraged by the biting wit of @GarthGrey , we marched onward. 2017 was a year of Doing More With Less. We wrecked the majority of Peerless and Champs at least once, and on no less than 23 occasions wedged our AoS-Blessed sandals up Medusa's stone backside. We two flamestruck the horns off Zippy (as @VinnySP slept soundly at the keys), and proved that yes, you can solo Shimmering Effusion, and no, the Myrmidex Queen is not, in fact, enjoyable in any way whatsoever. For many of our events, VICE-alliance folks joined in the fun, including the 23-hour day IDOC battle when the Japanese player Myon's houses fell and even GIL went Red. That was an epic fight! But mostly it has been Spiffykeen, myself, and occasionally Garth or @Fogsbane .

Our Base of Operations:

DarkmoonTower.jpg

More numbers:

Active Members: 2 (Myself [Calavera / Calavera Sangra / Mia Khalifa] and Spiffykeen [Talia / Lupe / Nyctea])
Emeritus: 3 (GarthGrey and VinnySP and that Australian dude we lost)
Honorary: 1 (Fogsbane)

Beginning Treasury = 2,756,878 gold

Peerless

Paroxymus = 1
Travesty = 3 (and that's 3 too many, the pixie skank that she is)
Monstruous Interred Grizzle = 6 (I believe several more runs went unrecorded by me)
Lady Melisandre = 9
Shimmering Effusion = 10 (Got my Crystalline Ring Malloc, no thanks to you! :) )
Navery = 12
Medusa = 23 (Talia and I have abused Medusa so bad I almost feel sorry for her. Almost.)

Champion Spawns

Abyssal Infernal = 1
Dragon Turtle = 1
Rikktor = 1
Tuolo = 1 (What an awful, awful spawn)
Corgul = 2
Neira = 3
Barracoon = 8

Other Big Nasties

Zipacoatl = 2 (Talia and I alone for one [Wake Up Vinny!] )
Myrmidex Queen = 1 (Soul crushing. Did not finish. Our worst defeat of the year!)
Exodus = 1
Shadowguard Roof = 1
Harrower = 1 (In which we liberated every scroll from Harrower and slipped past Virem unscathed)
Dark Fathers = 2

Guild productions

Stratics Siege Events summaries = 2
Fishing Tournaments sponsored = 1

Town Invasions = a sickening amount
Treasure Maps = Over 30 runs of 6's and 7's, groups at a time. Still missing a coffin piece!

On a personal note, bereft of large Guild- or Alliance-mates, I took on several UO challenges that had eluded me. I finally solved the Blackthorn Captain riddle, soloing every type with a single toon. I called in the big guns, BearCorpse himself, for crafting advice on Shimmering Effusion. After burning every hammer UWSP had on sale, I forged a blade worthy of memory, and days later told Shimmering Effusion to GET WREKT. Maybe most frustrating of all, I completed the Plague Lord mini-game for my very own glacial brain! Also, kicked Medusa's butt (even more) until she gave me a second Slither.

Personal statistics

Sorcerer's Dungeon drops = 95+
Minax Artifact drops = 94
Miasma farming sessions = 6
Covetous farming sessions = 2
Smuggler's Lantern farming sessions = 40+ (36 Lanterns collected)
Zoogi Zoogi Zoogi sessions = 16
Trade Quest sessions = 20+
Piracy! Ship scuttling sessions = 15
Abyss mini-champs = 2
IDOCs = 3 (Three too many!)
EM Events = Enough to jump in rank several times in the Black Watch (*elbows EM Kincaid*)
Player Kills (non-VvV) = 2 (Hand of Doom, unattended; someone in my secret farming spot (can't remember her name, she was salty though) )
Died to Hey Arnold = 1 (of 1 encounters, though the result would be the same no matter the number)
EM Event Rage Quits = 2
Pets Fully Trained = 27 - 32 (can't remember if I finished a few of them)

Ending Treasury = 88,274 (No joke!)

Thanks for the fun Siege! If you like ribauld humor, naming your toons and pets after adult film starts, or Cthulthu-steeped quips, consider joining us in 2018*. We are always looking to lose someone else's suit too :)

* Offer limited to players not named Static or Malloc. Must be willing to defy death at every turn. BYOCBD. Void where prohibited by Sharia law, kosher restrictions, or just common sense. Guildchat limited to ages 18 and older.
 

Max Blackoak

Babbling Loonie
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
I like your style. Kinda reminds me of Garth - equally sarcastic but less bitter =)
 

GarthGrey

Grand Poobah
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
You have more than a knack for writing my friend, well done.
 

Spiffykeen

Sage
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
We all joked about the NSA infiltrating MMORPGs, but here it is people. Just imagine, he could be watching you too..... :eyes:
 

Silent Singer

Certifiable
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
Yeah, I'm more than a little anal I guess. When the thread was posted today about the cam toon on prodo shards watching all the spawns with a rails script, most folks probably recoiled in horror. I just wondered how hard it would be to set something like that up outside Malloc's house to circle around every 15 minutes and drop muffins on his yard to spell out a profanity or two.....
 
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