J
JaydeSilverhart
Guest
As I waited for the merriment at the Yew Merry Center for All to begin, I found myself deep in conversation with... a duck. Now, before you say I had too much of the Dew, realize this important truth:
<center>THERE ARE DUCKS AMONG US.
AND THEY ARE ANGRY.</center>
It seems that the ducks feel that we as Sosarians haven't done enough to welcome ducks into our society, a claim bolstered by the integration of elves into our midst last year. I sat down to talk to Gypsy Queen, the self-proclaimed Quackmaster of the Ducks of Sonoma, and agreed to give her this forum in which to air her duckish grievances.
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I asked about the peculiar nature of her yellow garb, hoping to start the interview on a relatively benign note. "What else would a duck be wearing, then, eh? Sheesh! You reporters! No common sense!" was her retort. In the mythical land of Florida where I was raised, ducks are brown, but apparently Gypsy feels that the ducks are disguising themselves as squirrels to evade persecution.
I thought perhaps if I gained a bit of insight into the duckish language, I might be able to better understand their culture and its plight. According to the Gypsy Queen, the sentence structure calls for a verb, a noun, and a quack, such as Quack feed me! or Feed me quack! The habit of quacking nearly anywhere in a sentence was later copied by the mischeivous Smurfs, though the use of 'smurf' as virtually any part of speech was more widely accepted by oppressive duck-haters.
Additionally, ducks can convert Sosarian words into Duckish simply by changing the first letter to a 'Q'. A trailing 'U' is sometimes, but not always, added, depending on the region from which the duck hails.
As an exercise for you, the reader, try translating these sentences into Duckish:
[*] I wish to lock this down.
[*] How much lumber could a lumberjack jack, if a lumberjack could jack lumber?
[*] Guards, bring me my bank box from the stable while I sing Recsu Reedu!
Gypsy goes on to extol Scrooge McDuck, champion of duckish rights and philanthropist to many duckish causes, as a smart, handsome and powerful individual, if a bit eccentric. She also praises the cinematic mastery of Howard the Duck, which captivated audiences worldwide for all of sixteen and a half minutes.
As to why these noble, powerful creatures aren't often seen in dungeons or patrolling the Feluccan spawns, Gypsy replied, "We're pacifists, I should note. More like cowards, really." She also claims not to know whether duck feathers really are best suited for fletching arrows.
Gypsy and her duckish friends respectfully demand that the citizenry of Britannia refrain from making references to roast or Peking duck in her presence, as well as halt the customary tossing of Szechwan sauce packets at her and her kin.
<center>
</center>
<center>THERE ARE DUCKS AMONG US.
AND THEY ARE ANGRY.</center>
It seems that the ducks feel that we as Sosarians haven't done enough to welcome ducks into our society, a claim bolstered by the integration of elves into our midst last year. I sat down to talk to Gypsy Queen, the self-proclaimed Quackmaster of the Ducks of Sonoma, and agreed to give her this forum in which to air her duckish grievances.
<center>
I asked about the peculiar nature of her yellow garb, hoping to start the interview on a relatively benign note. "What else would a duck be wearing, then, eh? Sheesh! You reporters! No common sense!" was her retort. In the mythical land of Florida where I was raised, ducks are brown, but apparently Gypsy feels that the ducks are disguising themselves as squirrels to evade persecution.
I thought perhaps if I gained a bit of insight into the duckish language, I might be able to better understand their culture and its plight. According to the Gypsy Queen, the sentence structure calls for a verb, a noun, and a quack, such as Quack feed me! or Feed me quack! The habit of quacking nearly anywhere in a sentence was later copied by the mischeivous Smurfs, though the use of 'smurf' as virtually any part of speech was more widely accepted by oppressive duck-haters.
Additionally, ducks can convert Sosarian words into Duckish simply by changing the first letter to a 'Q'. A trailing 'U' is sometimes, but not always, added, depending on the region from which the duck hails.
As an exercise for you, the reader, try translating these sentences into Duckish:
[*] I wish to lock this down.
[*] How much lumber could a lumberjack jack, if a lumberjack could jack lumber?
[*] Guards, bring me my bank box from the stable while I sing Recsu Reedu!
Gypsy goes on to extol Scrooge McDuck, champion of duckish rights and philanthropist to many duckish causes, as a smart, handsome and powerful individual, if a bit eccentric. She also praises the cinematic mastery of Howard the Duck, which captivated audiences worldwide for all of sixteen and a half minutes.
As to why these noble, powerful creatures aren't often seen in dungeons or patrolling the Feluccan spawns, Gypsy replied, "We're pacifists, I should note. More like cowards, really." She also claims not to know whether duck feathers really are best suited for fletching arrows.
Gypsy and her duckish friends respectfully demand that the citizenry of Britannia refrain from making references to roast or Peking duck in her presence, as well as halt the customary tossing of Szechwan sauce packets at her and her kin.
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