Why am I here? Im a polling place volunteerHA. Yes, because I willingly donned this Statue of Karthus getup and happily skipped outside to be a billboard for democracy. Even my undead derriere is sweating in this unseasonal heat. Go out and represent your constituency, they said. Itll be great to have a representative from the Shadow Isles greeting people at the polls, they said.
This fake torch flame wont burn anyone, but I wonder if its hard enough to leave a decent bruise. Oh, excuse me: goodbyethankyouforvotingheresastickerhaveawonderf ulday. (Until I end it.) The polls are open from November 6 to November 9, so dont forget to cast your votethere are plenty of tempting sharp pencils in the booths...
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- Oh, look whos here: its Leona with her sunny holier-than-thou disposition. Will you be voting Yes on the solar energy proposition? Of course; Im so surprised. Too bad the Solari lobbyists dont have half the charisma of their lunar competitorshey! Sheath that Zenith Blade! 487 RP
- Careful with those spirit blades, Irelia. Although you should only be using the provided paper-poking implements, be my guest and stab away with your magic-trick knives. You have only yourself to blame if your ballot has hanging chads. 487 RP
- Riven! How many times do I have to chase you out of here? I dont care about your supposed right to picket. No one here is going to listen to your third-party write-in shpiel, especially not after that social media battle-bunny scandal. 487 RP
- For summoners sake, cover yourself up, Ruthless Pantheon! Youre the only one here to vote, not each of your 300 individual sinews. This is madness. Go wrap yourself in a booth curtain before I lay waste to every exposed inch of you. 260 RP
- From whom is that foul smell emanating?! Its like rotting salmon marinated in cystic pus. It can only be Junkyard Trundle. I guess everyone has the right to express his opinion in the matters of governing our fine realm, because clearly politics are easier to grasp than basic hygiene. 487 RP
- And now Jurassic KogMaws drooled caustic acid all over his booth. Disgusting. And, naturally, hes eaten his ballot. Someone pry open his ribs and dig it out before he leaves it behind, encased in a fossilized lump. 487 RP
This fake torch flame wont burn anyone, but I wonder if its hard enough to leave a decent bruise. Oh, excuse me: goodbyethankyouforvotingheresastickerhaveawonderf ulday. (Until I end it.) The polls are open from November 6 to November 9, so dont forget to cast your votethere are plenty of tempting sharp pencils in the booths...
Continue reading...