Etiquette
Original post by The Pict.
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Much like any large community, UO has nice and not-so-nice folks, and everything in between. By and large, most you run into will be, at the very least, decent people though for sure there are always the odd ones who, high on the anonymity and power of an online game display the social interaction skills of your average rock. For the most part, however, people will be more than willing to help out new players if a few basic social rules are followed.
CAPS LOCK KEY
This is one of the easiest to fix and also one that others can find quite irking for no obvious reason. It is often seen as the online equivalent to yelling or shouting. Your reception will be much better if you turn it off. If you have a visual impairment and need the larger text, it's worth explaining this if anyone comments on it. If you prefer not to disclose this, just be aware of the reaction others may have if they don't know it's a necessity for you.
Be polite
For many this is obvious, but when addressing a stranger, particularly when in need of help, use "please" and "thank you". Even if your request is a very small one, "Could you show me where the stable is, please?" is far more likely to be granted, possibly with even more help forthcoming, than "HEY YOU! SHOW ME THE STABLE!" Think of the city banks as like standing by a busy ATM in a large city. You really need a pen. Do you yell out "I need a pen, give me one!" to the crowd? Perhaps a better option would be picking a friendly looking person, turning to them and asking, "Excuse me, do you have a pen I could have?" Sure, the kind thing would be for someone to give you a pen regardless of how you asked, but no one HAS to give you one and you are far more likely to get one with the latter.
In the UO world, asking nicely for something small may turn into getting a new set of armor, a good weapon, and maybe some new friends in addition.
Remember that everyone has been new at some point, even if it was a long time ago. Everyone started with not much, and the further back they started the less they started with. Because of this, asking for advice on how to get things will likely get you further than just asking for handouts. I will happily tell a new player some ways to make gold at their skill level, heck, I'll even make you a runebook to the spots and show you around, but I tend to think I'm doing them a disservice by just giving out gold and never showing them how to get it themselves. Feel free to ask other players how they got started or got the items you see on them; most are proud of their accomplishments in-game and will gladly tell you how you can do it also.
Language
The same rules of language apply to UO as apply to life. People use different words talking to friends then they do talking to strangers in the grocery store. Before you cuss a stranger out (especially the ones who didn't give you the pen you just yelled for), think to yourself if you'd say it to a stranger in real life. (At this point someone always says, "I swear at strangers all the time!" and if this is the case, well, expect about the same reaction in-game as in real life.) This applies to general comments as well. If the line in the grocery store is really long and slow, what language do you use to express this to the crowd? Some bystanders may not be impressed hearing that you think it is "@*%^@ <expletive> lame [insert something offensive about its mother's virtue here]," even if you weren't directing it at anyone in particular.
Killing stuff
There is an etiquette to coming into an area with monsters that has another person or people in it. Essentially if what you are about to do will a) get the other guy killed or b) impede his already established monster killing then you need to consider what would most polite and beneficial to you both.
There are a few things to consider when entering an area where others are hunting.
Is this something tons of people are already pummeling?
If so, join the fray. No worries. Some current examples of this are the Doom Gauntlet and the Mondain's Legacy dungeons with their named monster spawns.
Is it a place with a decent number of monsters and a couple people killing separate things independently?
A graveyard is a great example of this, others include the earth elementals in Shame, lizardmen in Despise, or the drakes and dragons in Destard. It's very possible for multiple folks to hunt here at the same time without ever infringing on anyone else. If you want to fight WITH someone, ask them first if they would like help before helpfully whacking at the monster, they may have reasons for wanting to kill it solo even if it appears difficult for them. It's great to keep an eye out for others who might get into trouble, need a heal, bandage, help with an extra monster they didn't plan on, they might return the favor, but by and large this is still solo territory.
If what you're about to do will easily wipe out the whole graveyard in one fell swoop, like dropping a bunch of blade spirits, you will be impeding other adventurers and it's obviously too easy for you, go someplace harder or find an empty graveyard where you can do this without infringing on others.
Is this something with one person killing one monster solo?
If so, this is where it gets hazy. Many demon spawns are like this, other areas include ice fiends, ogre lords, the serpentine dragon, balrons, and blood elementals. These are high end monsters who drop a lot of gold and loot, and folks tend to stand around killing them for hours at a time with high returns on their effort.
There are some who would jump right in killing, assuming that whoever kills fastest and hits hardest has right of way. This is often seen as the rudest option.
I've been known to comment after someone does this, "Good evening to you too, no, I wouldn't mind sharing this spot at all, thank you for asking!" only to have them look at me blankly and say they had no idea they were being rude at all; they assumed it was a) a really hard monster and I'd be glad of the help, b) they assumed I would share the spawn and it was clearly their turn, but didn't feel a need to talk to me at all, or c) they hit harder and faster and want the spot and I can stuff it. Two of these are decently intentioned and some bad feelings can be avoided by talking before jumping in.
I for one have a "never help/rez/or interact with at all again if I can help it" policy on these types. And yes, I will notice your guild name as well and quite possibly extend this policy to all of your guildmates if you're particularly rude.
One other option when you come into a spot like this and see someone there is to leave, since if this is a solo-able monster you probably wanted it to yourself anyway, and that's not going to happen unless you are especially obnoxious (see above, along with repercussions). Check out some rune libraries for other possible hunting locations, tons go totally unused these days. Heck, ask the person who is there if they can recommend other spots where this monster spawns that you could go to.
Another option is to ask if the other person minds if you take turns. Both people kill a bit slower than they would if they were the only ones there, but it's a nice compromise. If asked nicely I'll almost never say no, and when I ask I find that I'm rarely turned down.
These same monster rules apply to anything that might involve one person and one object in a public place in the game, shearing sheep for wool, gathering hides, lockpicking chests, gathering quest items, mining, or chopping trees.
In the long run you will get far more help, more friends, and a better reputation with politeness. It may be a large world, but it's not so large that rudeness is entirely unnoticed or kindness and friendliness forgotten.