Part 17
Midsummer Eve 381
Smaed meets Thalandor
Smaed woke to an early dawn on Midsummers Eve. At these high latitudes in midsummer, dawn came early. Indeed, for two or three short weeks it never became fully dark, for although the sun dipped below the horizon for a few hours each night it never dipped far enough for its light to entirely disappear from the northern skies.
Smaed broke camp and and as had been his wont for the last few days of waiting he went into the tavern to break fast. Riva had heard some news, that in the small hours Thalandor had returned to Silverleaf. It began to look as though the meeting Smaed had waited for was now at hand. He spent most of that day waiting and keeping a look out, but the late afternoon shadows were growing longer when he went for yet another look around. He waited a while then saw a tall elf approaching from the other side of the brook. He was bareheaded and dressed in green and brown, and wearing a travel-stained cloak. He carried a bow and on his back, sticking up over his left shoulder could be seen a quiver of arrows. Smaed went forward to hail him, and their paths met outside Aegnor’s house. He had thought much over how best to address the elf and had decided the direct approach was best:
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Smaed Fretting: Greetings, sir, my name is Smaed, I seek an elven ranger called perhaps Talis.
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At this the elf’s eyes widen with surprise and perhaps something else that Smaed couldn’t interpret. He plunged on:
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He escorted my aunt Agnes Fretting, together with me and my cousin Jern, to Trinsic when I was 8 years old. Sir, the thing is that I think, or believe, that the elf Talis may be my father.
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Thalandor paused, clearly taken aback. First looking uncertain, then he appeared deep in thought. It felt to Smaed like an age before he finally spoke, seeming to choose his words carefully:
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I have heard of Agnes....well....in fact......I think I met her a long time ago, some seasons ago, It was summer I think.
Smaed Fretting: Where was it? *looks eager*
Thalandor: A small settlement of which there are so many around here
Smaed Fretting: Leafsta, perhaps? That is where I was born 17 years ago
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Thalandor appeared to think, while Smaed wrinkled his brow in anxious waiting. The elf continued:
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Well.......*tries to remember specifics* Leafsta, a settlement of woodfolk?
Smaed Fretting: Err, well,...
Thalandor: Lumberjacks and hunters ?
Smaed Fretting: Nay, nay, we were miners and smiths, though some of us were lumberjacks, who built and tended the coke piles.
Thalandor: Ahh, the metalworkers.
Smaed Fretting: Yes, yes! Blacksmiths
Thalandor: I think I got my first sword there
Smaed Fretting: *gasps with surprise*
Thalandor: I was passing through the area on a hunt
Smaed Fretting: So you remember it? Built horseshoe shape for defence
Thalandor: and on the edge of the settlement I met a fair maiden.
Smaed Fretting: *looks amazed* Yes? Do you remember her name?
Thalandor: She was lithe and full of joy, enjoying the forests and life itself.
Smaed Fretting: *eyes begin to fill with tears* Ah, I so long to know if this was Agnes.
Thalandor: I talked a lot with her about life, the woods and nearly everything else
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Smaed looked intensely, listening with full attention. At this point Thalandor shifted uneasily from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable and uncertain as to what he should say or how to say it. Smaed prompted:
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Please good sir, I am desperate to know
Thalandor: Well, erm....it was nearly midsummer...the night was warm and comforting
Smaed Fretting: *hard to contain his excitement*
Thalandor: I was hesitant to give her my name on our first meeting
Smaed Fretting: Yes I understand
Thalandor: and gave her the name I use when doing business with humans.....way back they knew me then as Talis the Ranger
Smaed Fretting: Oh, sir...then that must be you whom my aunt named as Talis in her, err, diary *looks embarrassed*
Thalandor: *looks embarrassed too*
Smaed Fretting: Er, I have looked in her private diary without her knowing. There is a long story behind this *blushes*
Thalandor: No please, don’t try to explain. Let me tell you instead of my shame
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Smaed looked as if he would say something but stopped and nodded. He had noticed that Thalandor’s demeanour seemed to change. He appeared to have made some sort of decision. Drawing breath, Thalandor dew himelf up straight, his eyes cleared and he continued in a firmer voice:
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Thalandor: As I said it was midsummer, and midsummer has strange powers
Smaed Fretting: *eyes widen with wonder*
Thalandor: I really liked the lass, but I was hesitant
Smaed Fretting: I understand
Thalandor: Me being an elf and she a human, things would be bound to be complicated
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Smaed looked sad and sighed. He thought back to his days in the Yew Militia - the same old story of human intolerance. He smiled crookedly, saying:
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I know it well from first hand…
Thalandor: But i could not resist my feelings for her.....we loved each other
Smaed Fretting: Oh, Talis, sir, then it is you!
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Thinking back afterwards, Smaed realised that it was this point in the conversation that he became convinced he had found his father.
Thalandor smiled and again looked uncomfortable as if gathering his courage to explain something that he was not proud of. He hesitated briefly, then motioned to Smaed towards a bench outside the house:
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Please have a seat *points at bench*
Smaed Fretting: *sits on the bench, looking up at Thalandor*
Thalandor: As I told ye, I think I did wrong thing at the time
Smaed Fretting: *touches his facial scar* Yes? But I have done so too, tis not uncommon…
Thalandor: I tried to convince myself that it was all my fault for not being cautious enough
Smaed Fretting: That is always so when emotions are strong.
Thalandor: I stole away in the middle of the night, not wanting to cause her pain.
Smaed Fretting: *leans forward to listen better* So you bade her not farewell
Thalandor: *inhales deeply and sighs* No, I stole away like a coward
Smaed Fretting: You did? I am sure she understood
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Thalandor shook his head, making Smaed’s eyes widen in surprise. Then Thalandor continued:
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I was afraid to meet her again.
Smaed Fretting: That I understand, too
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Thalandor looked as if he felt relief that he would not be judged too harshly by Smaed, so he appeared to relax somewhat, and continued:
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I did my best to not come close to the village, but one fateful day Leafsta was in deep trouble. Not wanting to lose the one I Loved so much I headed back into the town.
Smaed Fretting: *holds his breath in anticipation*
Thalandor: The situation was grim, but I was able to meet her again. She showed me a small bundle.....a child.
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Smaed couldn’t supress a soft cry of “oh!”, as he looked at Talis/Thalandor as if he would hang on the elf’s every word.
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Thalandor: The child was but small, and showed outwardly not any signs of being of the elven race. I fet happy for her
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Smaed closes his eyes and involuntarily clasped his hands together as if in prayer. He began to feel that this story would be one that would heal his heart rather than – as he had feared - further rend it.
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Thalandor: She had managed somehow to give the child to another woman.
Smaed Fretting: Ah! As I thought, good sir
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Smaed, still sitting with closed eyes, realised now that Thalandor was indeed his father. For how could he otherwise have known about the switch of Smaed for the dead infant between the two cousins, Agnes and Millie? He sensed that Thalandor also understood that Smaed knew of this and that their shared knowledge provided a foundation for the sealing of what Smaed hoped would become their father-son relationship. Smaed had much food for thought but Thalandor continued:
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Without showing signs of half elven heritage it was possible for her to fool her family, which she told me had been very upset, demanding to know who was the father of the child.
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Only now did Smaed open his eyes, which shone with love and understanding. Thalandor continued:
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But alas, my return was short lived. Leafsta was in dire peril, and so I tried to make up for past faults trying to make sure she and the child could start anew in a new town. Too many people in the city of Yew would have recognized her, so it was decided to travel to a city far in the south.
Smaed Fretting: Yes!
Thalandor: The city was Trinsic, Stronghold of Honour, and I hoped they would be able to
start there anew
Smaed Fretting: Yes, yes, and we did!
Thalandor: I escorted them south, along the trail to Skara Brae and onward to Trinsic.
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Smaed felt overwhelmed with emotion, and seemed to gather himself to speak, saying at last:
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Oh, tis you good sir...
Thalandor: We travelled several days, with each day I became to know that in the end, I had to leave her again.
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Smaed looked sad and a little puzzled. Thalandor noriced and continued, trying to explain:
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I am a creature of the forest, and the marble-built city would never be anything like a home to me. People would wonder what one of Yew Rangers would do in their little world.
Smaed Fretting: *nods* I understand. I too want to be a ranger.
Thalandor: So when we neared the gates, she noticed my anxiety.
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Smaed looked at Talis with compassion and understanding. He had enough insight to see that the ranger, who, being older and wiser and more experienced, could foresee the difficulty of being a ranger in a big city far from his beloved forests of Yew. And no doubt the hostile view of elves that seemed to prevail in the backwoods of Yew also coloured his, Thalandor’s, view. For how different would it be in that southern city of humans? Thalandor was not to know, even though Smaed did, that elves were honoured in noble Trinsic. Thalandor paused, seeming to remember with a far-off look in his eyes, then continued:
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Troubled, I told her I would never be able to live in a city with all the paved streets and knights in their shining armor.
Smaed Fretting: Yes, its difficult for us, too, simple villagers that we are.
Thalandor: She only nodded and kissed me, telling me she understood perfectly. *hangs head*
Smaed Fretting: *smiles softly*
Thalandor: She stood near the gates, her tears of our sudden reunioun gone awry.
Smaed Fretting: Oh...*a tear runs down his cheek*
Thalandor: She was a marvelous woman, She gave me more respect than I deserved at that time
Smaed Fretting: O she loved you greatly and still does, of that I am sure.
Thalandor: *holds breath*
Smaed Fretting: Then I have found he whom I have searched so long for!
Thalandor: Ye mean......she......she is still living in Trinsic ?
Smaed Fretting: *looks at him with love* Oh yes! We learned of the end of Leafsta when my cousin Jern made the great journey north to learn why we had no news. And when Jern returned to say that Leafsta was no more we knew not where to go.
Thalandor: Oh what have I done!
Smaed Fretting: No, no, it is not you, but the situation...
Thalandor: If she kept this secret from you she must be very upset about me for leaving her again.
Smaed Fretting: *reaches out his hand, trembling, towards the elf*
Thalandor: *shakes terribly*
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Smaed’s heart went out to the elf. Some day he would have to explain the whole story of Leafsta and our lack of knowledge of who might have survived its destruction or where they might be sought and found. But now was not the time. Now, more than anything, Smaed wanted mutual acknowledgement between man and elf of their kinship. So he began, shy and faltering:
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No, I don't know why she said nothing. May I,... may I...
Thalandor: I think she is trying to forget me...*sighs*
Smaed Fretting: She wouldn’t know where to seek you!
Thalandor: *sits down next to Smaed and nods*
Smaed Fretting: *reaches out to touch his shoulder with a trembling hand* May I,...may I...call you...
Thalandor: The settelments broke apart with the swamp disaster. *looks up*
Smaed Fretting: Oh, I see. What happened to Leafsta, do you know?
Thalandor: *nods* I know all to well
Smaed Fretting: *kneels down besides the elf* One day maybe you can tell me, I – we - long to know…
Thalandor: *nods*
Smaed Fretting: But now for me is more important that we acknowledge our relationship for
what it is...
Thalandor: Well... I guess you better call me Thalandor, my real name.
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This was not of course what Smaed had in mind! He longed instead to be able to call the elf father and hear him in turn named son. But before he could continue they saw a small figure appear.
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Thalandor: I didst do nothing I do deserve...
Rorimac: Hail Thalandor!
Thalandor: *quickly wipes away tears*
Rorimac: *waves hello*
Smaed Fretting: *looks frustrated at being interrupted*
Thalandor: Oh Hello Rorimac. May I intoduce you to my.....er.....*tries to find words* my.....son !
Rorimac: glad to meet you ... I’m chasing a wolf pack ... did you see it ? Your ... WHAT ???
Smaed Fretting: Hello *bows*
Rorimac: *looks shocked* You are joking aren’t you ?
Thalandor: Er... well.....you know I never talk much....but...er.....it is the simple truth
Rorimac: ....
Smaed Fretting: *looks puzzled*
Rorimac: ehm, well, hello son of Thal.
Smaed Fretting: *gasps* Ah, tis true!
Thalandor: *shivers at the mention of it*
Smaed Fretting: Father!
Rorimac: *talks to himself*
Smaed Fretting: *moves to embrace his father*
Rorimac: I don’t believe this
Smaed Fretting: *hesitates*
Thalandor: Please.....no.....I did nothing to deserve being called father.
Rorimac: elves !
Smaed Fretting: *looks crestfallen* Oh! But, but...
Thalandor: I left you and your mother...
Smaed Fretting: That isn’t whats important!
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Rorimac at this point slipped quietly away seeing that the discussion was becoming very private. Smaed barely notices and continues:
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For me it is everything to have found he who sired me *kneels at Thalandor’s feet*
Thalandor: But the circumstances...No please stand up
Smaed Fretting: Nay, nay, never mind that. Father, please, I ask for your recognition and blessing. *stays kneeling*
Thalandor: You are...*stammers a bit*...my son
Smaed Fretting: *reaches up with hands in supplication* Oh, yes, thank you...father!
Thalandor: *takes hands in his own*
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Smaed smiled in bliss, overcome with emotion, then Thalandor continued:
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You...you should not be that happy to see me.....
Smaed Fretting: Oh, why not? *looks worried*
Thalandor: I can imagine many things that are not as they should be. I did nothing to help you or your mother...
Smaed Fretting: O but you did! You took us to safety to Trinsic! But we can talk of these another time We have much to catch up on.
Thalandor: It is not that much....a father should be supporting his family
Smaed Fretting: There was no need, and the circumstances were such that it couldnt be.
Thalandor: The furs i gave your mother were hardly worth enough to support you in the beginning.
Smaed Fretting: Furs? I am talking about ties of kin, not payments. Ties of blood, and love shared!
Thalandor: Yes...and no....
Smaed Fretting: *looks puzzled*
Thalandor: I m talking about with how less you started your new existence in Trinsic...
I could not provide you ith anything at all...just some furs...
Smaed Fretting: What I lacked was not comfort and gold, it was knowing my father. And that was Aunt - mother's - doing. That was not your fault.
Thalandor: But....but how can you be so forgiving?
Smaed Fretting: You see, the woman she gave me to, my aunt Millie Fretting who I thought was my mother, came to love me as her own son
Thalandor: *listens,looking relieved*
Smaed Fretting: And when we arrived in Trinsic all was still well in Leafsta. Agnes was not named Angst Doomsong for nought, many Leafstans scoffed at her prophecies of doom and expected her to return us there and give me back to Millie and her husband Smaed. So I understand why you did nothing and she stayed silent. But now it is our relationship that is most important. And we can start anew. I have grown up and can make my own decisions
Thalandor: But look around you, I live here in this small settlement... it is nothing compared to a city. It is even dangerous out here
Smaed Fretting: Ah, and I would love to live here. Tis beautiful, and these forests are my home and my heart.
Thalandor: *smiles* It is at lest a beginning
Smaed Fretting: Now I am overwhelmed. My search - my long search - is over. I have found my father whom I longed to meet.
Thalandor: *gulps* I hope you are not too disappointed with me now that you met me...
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Smaed understood at some sub-conscious level that this fine upright elf who had such a conscience about leaving his lover and son in Trinsic and not supporting them financially had faced a hard decision, and had suffered for it. He thought for a moment then replied:
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Oh no!! You are all I hoped for and more. *pauses and ponders, then continues* I suggest we are both emotional now and need time to come to terms with what we have learned.
Thalandor: *nods*
Smaed Fretting: Then we need to talk and know more of each other. So, please, my sire, I suggest we retire and meet again to exchange news of ourselves. I, too, have much to tell and to explain...*looks uncomfortable*
Thalandor: if you like you can stay at the inn for now. *nods*
Smaed Fretting: I would like that. Where is it? I have but seen a tavern.
Thalandor: Let me show you...
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Thalandor led the way downstream past Silverleaf’s Guard Tower, stopping in front of the Silverleaf Tavern. Smaed had hardly noticed until now that it was late and the sun was setting. When they stopped outside the familiar tavern he looked surprised.
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I know this place. This is an inn as well as a tavern?
Thalandor: Aye, there is a guest room upstairs
Smaed Fretting: *smiles at Riva* ah how nice
Thalandor: The lodge where we just met is not finished yet.
Smaed Fretting: *nods*
Thalandor: the old bowyer is still working on it
Smaed Fretting: I have much to learn of this wonderful place. It has a magic air to it
Thalandor: Aye, it does
Smaed Fretting: So I leave you for now, father
Thalandor: Riva, the young man here will sleep here and is our guest.
Smaed Fretting: *embraces him*
Thalandor: *returns embrace* Until later.......my son
Smaed Fretting: Good night father
Thalandor: Good night, son.
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Smaed felt blissfully happy, as if a great burden had been lifted from him and a cloud dispersed above his head. He pauses on the bottom step to watch his father depart, then climbed the stairs to the room. There he made himself comfortable for the first time in a warm bed and quickly fell into a deep sleep.