I say the dell dude should be a new peerless type, placed in the Forboding Lavatory and guarded by the sniveling CSR's. (no offense to any particular person, I was one once.)
They can say stuff too, like "We thank you for your time" and "Please refer to subsection C of Section B of paragraph 435, line 256, portion 2a, in which your concerns won't certiainly not be addressed as much as is impossible."
The peerless reward for defeating him would, of course, be a broken toaster that a grandmaster tinker can repair to retrieve laser packs and other useful items.
Get that reference and I'll send you a shiny ball of foil.