G
Gypsy Keja Mimi
Guest
"The gypsy pulled her shawl more tightly around her shoulders and coughed shallowly. Despite the intense heat from the summer she was often cold. She shivered with the chill of the air around her and hoped that she didnt have a fever yet again.
Habitually she moved her hand to brush her hair back from her face and met only the damp coolness of her skin and the soft material of her shawl. It would never matter how long her hair was gone, she would never lose the habits of a lifetime. She could still remember the weight of her long red hair, could still remember how it felt tickling against her cheek or brushing against her shoulders as she moved. She could remember the feel of it curtaining her face as she bent forward to write. She missed her hair most of all.
The healers could do little more against this horrible wasting sickness and she knew she had to write at last what she most dreaded for those who waited faithfully for word from her...."
I would like to thank so many of you for being such a large part of my life for so long. I have held on to UO for far longer than I probably should have, hoping one day to be able to return but that day will never become a reality. Financially as well as physically I can no longer continue to hold on to UO, and I want to take care of things before my familly would have to worry about what to do and how to do it.
I would like to thanks Stratics for, first of all, allowing me to become a reporter for their fine site. My times as a reporter for Stratics are among my most treasured memories of UO. It also allowed me to meet and become true friends with so many of the community. I thank Stratics for holding my position of reporter for me on leave of absence status for so long. I truly wished to return and I tried very hard to beat this cancer so that I could return. To my fellow reporters thank you for your support and well wishes always during this time. I know you will all continue to do a great job, and I regret that I will never be able to rejoin you.
I would also like to send my love and thanks to my guild KVP. During the first part of my treatment last year I missed the SE expansion and you all were so sweet gathering things for me so I wouldnt miss them. I have seen very little of SE and even less to nothing of ML and I am so sorry that I was unable to spend any time with all of you during these expansions. I read of your hunts and I do keep up with what is going on in KVP, and I truly miss you all. I love you all and you are all in my hearts and thoughts always.
I would also like to thank and send my love to the members of YAD. My time in YAD was wonderful and I enjoyed factions much more than I ever believed possible. My faction articles were my biggest claim to fame and you all made that possible. That true fighting spirit is what I call on when things get the hardest for me while fighting this illness.
So many other friends, so many other memories. Lavendar, my very first best friend on the shard as well as being an amazing real life friend. The gifts and support have meant so much. More than you will ever know. I hope your own health continues to improve and you have all the best both UO and real life have to offer. I love you more than I can ever tell you.
I would like to thank Queen Mum for her support and help. Taking care of the accounts would be a nightmare if not for her help. Also I would like to thank her for taking my stories from my website and adding them to a message board for me. I had always meant to build my own website but when I knew the cancer was incurable I knew it wasnt practical. More than losing my life it bothered me to lose those pieces of me that I wrote. Thank you Mum for placing them on that website for me and giving me peace that they at least will live on. No one may ever see them or want to read them, but it gives me peace to have them still exist somewhere in the hopes that those pieces of my soul will live on. http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=84547&TabID=727729
So many other people close to my heart I know if I start naming names I will leave people out and hurt feelings but those of you who I love and who have been close and important to me, you know who you are. I love you all and you have meant more in my life than you could ever know. So many memories, great guilds, great events, my life has been full and happy and fun.
The last of my accounts will be stripped and all things given away. Thank you to the people who have offered to help me and who have already helped me with some of it. I will leave only one account open, in case there is an event in the near future I might feel like attending.
Now I know there are those out there wondering the details of everthing so for those people you can keep reading. For those who dont want to know you can quit now the important stuff is at the top.... this part will keep me from having to answer a dozen PMs to find out what is going on.
As most of you know last year I was treated for cervical cancer but since I had had a hysterectomy it had gone to the scar. I had chemo, radiation and surgery (not for the cancer but for a football sized cyst in my abdomen in the way of radiation). The treatment seemed very effective and by June there was no sign of the cancer.
In November they repeated tests to check the cancer was still gone, and ordered a pelvic and abdominal CT. My chemo doctor threw in a chest CT last minute to just have the whole thing done. They found 3 tiny tumors, one in each lung and one by my heart. We waited for a few months for them to get big enough to diagnose, I had a PET scan February and the diagnoses was confirmed. I began chemo again in June. They had delayed treatment because at that point the cancer was incurable and the treatment would make me very sick. They wanted to let me have as long as I could feeling as good as I could.
After they checked the tumors a few weeks ago, it was found that the tumors have stopped growing or are growing so slow they cant be seen growing, but the cancer has moved into the top of my left arm bone. They wanted to change the type of chemo I was receiving but the research showed that the drug they wanted to use they can not use. The original radiation did so much damage to me that if they were to use this new drug, I would most likely die from side effects. They have no choice but to continue with the chemo I am already having, and hopefully it will keep the cancer growing slow enough that I will have a while longer. These drugs however are known to only extend your life for a few more months than normal, and its my understanding that they fail eventually. I am having the bone tumor radiated and they are checking my other bones for tumors as well. So far I have no pain from it and I feel fortunate for that and that they found it quickly.
So I am not done fighting it as best I can, but the reality is this will kill me, its only a matter now of how fast. I still keep holding out for a miracle or a new hope in treatment. I have the very best doctors working for me and I have complete faith that they are doing their very best for me. Something could always come along to give me at least a little more time. Right now they havent given me an actual timeline and I dont want one. I shall be here as long as I have the upper hand. Right now I do.
The chemo makes me very sick and tired. The side effects are miserable, but they could be much worse. Right now I have little symptoms from the actual cancer. As long as these drugs continue to slow it down and I dont feel too bad I should be okay. They do, however, have to break the chemo schedule to radiate the arm bone. That is scary for me, as in that time of trying to get rid of the bone tumor, the lung tumors and tumor near my heart could take off growing again. So I have to just trust God to keep that in check for me. Of the two, I am more afraid of the pain of the bone cancer than the other tumors. I didnt realize the reason bone cancer hurts so much is because it breaks your bones from the inside. I would rather get rid of the bone tumor if I can and take my chances with the other tumors.
All of this information has led me to the conclusion that getting my things in order at this point is a very wise decision. So that is why I am posting this now. In case something happens and we really dont have all that long.
So that is where I am for those who wished to know.
Much Love, Happiness, Fortune and all good things to all of you!
Gypsy Keja Mimi, Retired Stratics Reporter
Kimmie
Habitually she moved her hand to brush her hair back from her face and met only the damp coolness of her skin and the soft material of her shawl. It would never matter how long her hair was gone, she would never lose the habits of a lifetime. She could still remember the weight of her long red hair, could still remember how it felt tickling against her cheek or brushing against her shoulders as she moved. She could remember the feel of it curtaining her face as she bent forward to write. She missed her hair most of all.
The healers could do little more against this horrible wasting sickness and she knew she had to write at last what she most dreaded for those who waited faithfully for word from her...."
I would like to thank so many of you for being such a large part of my life for so long. I have held on to UO for far longer than I probably should have, hoping one day to be able to return but that day will never become a reality. Financially as well as physically I can no longer continue to hold on to UO, and I want to take care of things before my familly would have to worry about what to do and how to do it.
I would like to thanks Stratics for, first of all, allowing me to become a reporter for their fine site. My times as a reporter for Stratics are among my most treasured memories of UO. It also allowed me to meet and become true friends with so many of the community. I thank Stratics for holding my position of reporter for me on leave of absence status for so long. I truly wished to return and I tried very hard to beat this cancer so that I could return. To my fellow reporters thank you for your support and well wishes always during this time. I know you will all continue to do a great job, and I regret that I will never be able to rejoin you.
I would also like to send my love and thanks to my guild KVP. During the first part of my treatment last year I missed the SE expansion and you all were so sweet gathering things for me so I wouldnt miss them. I have seen very little of SE and even less to nothing of ML and I am so sorry that I was unable to spend any time with all of you during these expansions. I read of your hunts and I do keep up with what is going on in KVP, and I truly miss you all. I love you all and you are all in my hearts and thoughts always.
I would also like to thank and send my love to the members of YAD. My time in YAD was wonderful and I enjoyed factions much more than I ever believed possible. My faction articles were my biggest claim to fame and you all made that possible. That true fighting spirit is what I call on when things get the hardest for me while fighting this illness.
So many other friends, so many other memories. Lavendar, my very first best friend on the shard as well as being an amazing real life friend. The gifts and support have meant so much. More than you will ever know. I hope your own health continues to improve and you have all the best both UO and real life have to offer. I love you more than I can ever tell you.
I would like to thank Queen Mum for her support and help. Taking care of the accounts would be a nightmare if not for her help. Also I would like to thank her for taking my stories from my website and adding them to a message board for me. I had always meant to build my own website but when I knew the cancer was incurable I knew it wasnt practical. More than losing my life it bothered me to lose those pieces of me that I wrote. Thank you Mum for placing them on that website for me and giving me peace that they at least will live on. No one may ever see them or want to read them, but it gives me peace to have them still exist somewhere in the hopes that those pieces of my soul will live on. http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=84547&TabID=727729
So many other people close to my heart I know if I start naming names I will leave people out and hurt feelings but those of you who I love and who have been close and important to me, you know who you are. I love you all and you have meant more in my life than you could ever know. So many memories, great guilds, great events, my life has been full and happy and fun.
The last of my accounts will be stripped and all things given away. Thank you to the people who have offered to help me and who have already helped me with some of it. I will leave only one account open, in case there is an event in the near future I might feel like attending.
Now I know there are those out there wondering the details of everthing so for those people you can keep reading. For those who dont want to know you can quit now the important stuff is at the top.... this part will keep me from having to answer a dozen PMs to find out what is going on.
As most of you know last year I was treated for cervical cancer but since I had had a hysterectomy it had gone to the scar. I had chemo, radiation and surgery (not for the cancer but for a football sized cyst in my abdomen in the way of radiation). The treatment seemed very effective and by June there was no sign of the cancer.
In November they repeated tests to check the cancer was still gone, and ordered a pelvic and abdominal CT. My chemo doctor threw in a chest CT last minute to just have the whole thing done. They found 3 tiny tumors, one in each lung and one by my heart. We waited for a few months for them to get big enough to diagnose, I had a PET scan February and the diagnoses was confirmed. I began chemo again in June. They had delayed treatment because at that point the cancer was incurable and the treatment would make me very sick. They wanted to let me have as long as I could feeling as good as I could.
After they checked the tumors a few weeks ago, it was found that the tumors have stopped growing or are growing so slow they cant be seen growing, but the cancer has moved into the top of my left arm bone. They wanted to change the type of chemo I was receiving but the research showed that the drug they wanted to use they can not use. The original radiation did so much damage to me that if they were to use this new drug, I would most likely die from side effects. They have no choice but to continue with the chemo I am already having, and hopefully it will keep the cancer growing slow enough that I will have a while longer. These drugs however are known to only extend your life for a few more months than normal, and its my understanding that they fail eventually. I am having the bone tumor radiated and they are checking my other bones for tumors as well. So far I have no pain from it and I feel fortunate for that and that they found it quickly.
So I am not done fighting it as best I can, but the reality is this will kill me, its only a matter now of how fast. I still keep holding out for a miracle or a new hope in treatment. I have the very best doctors working for me and I have complete faith that they are doing their very best for me. Something could always come along to give me at least a little more time. Right now they havent given me an actual timeline and I dont want one. I shall be here as long as I have the upper hand. Right now I do.
The chemo makes me very sick and tired. The side effects are miserable, but they could be much worse. Right now I have little symptoms from the actual cancer. As long as these drugs continue to slow it down and I dont feel too bad I should be okay. They do, however, have to break the chemo schedule to radiate the arm bone. That is scary for me, as in that time of trying to get rid of the bone tumor, the lung tumors and tumor near my heart could take off growing again. So I have to just trust God to keep that in check for me. Of the two, I am more afraid of the pain of the bone cancer than the other tumors. I didnt realize the reason bone cancer hurts so much is because it breaks your bones from the inside. I would rather get rid of the bone tumor if I can and take my chances with the other tumors.
All of this information has led me to the conclusion that getting my things in order at this point is a very wise decision. So that is why I am posting this now. In case something happens and we really dont have all that long.
So that is where I am for those who wished to know.
Much Love, Happiness, Fortune and all good things to all of you!
Gypsy Keja Mimi, Retired Stratics Reporter
Kimmie
