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Unrealistic UO things that are funny

Great DC

Lore Master
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
Please feel free to share what you've found in UO.

Here's a couple I find funny

Being able to stealth while carrying a lit lantern. LOL

Hitting a tamed bunny and more blood comes out then possibly in the little guy. LOL
 

Lorddog

Crazed Zealot
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
just a word on how to look at "stealth"
I learned this from reading the awesome book series Tales of the Otori

for years westerners did not understand how Asians can watch unrealistic movies where the guy can run across tree tops among many other things.
they view it as a worked skill. such as stealth where they can learn to hide in plain sight from view by using their worked skills. very similar to how we might view magic
 

MalagAste

Belaern d'Zhaunil
Alumni
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Stratics Legend
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I've always wanted to know just were do some of the mobs keep all that loot they carry???

I mean where does a CuSidhe keep all that stuff? Is it in the things fur?

Why can I get milk from a cow but not a goat?

I've always wanted to know why a mob can target me though a wall or mountain yet if I try to target them I can't see them...

There are so many things that can be explained though in one word.... Magic.

We don't have it here..... but they do.
 

sablestorm

Babbling Loonie
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
Carrying around my backpack full of chairs and other furniture. What a sight I must make walking down the street.

Watching my pack of five fully trained sheep destroy an ogre. Now how can I properly explain that one in my roleplaying stories? Might have to go all Reepicheep/Narnia with it. Then again, what would a realistic battle between humans and giants look like?

This is not really funny but more of a hmmm thought. What sort of effect would public moongates, gate spells, and recall spells have on warfare and economics? For that matter, what type of effect would a create food spell have on it? Bring some mages with med and LRC suits and you can feed your whole army without worrying about supply lines. Then again, who needs supply lines with gate spells?
 

Uvtha

Stratics Legend
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
Please feel free to share what you've found in UO.

Here's a couple I find funny

Being able to stealth while carrying a lit lantern. LOL

Hitting a tamed bunny and more blood comes out then possibly in the little guy. LOL
I've always enjoyed carrying dozens of armories. ;0
 

Dizzy

Lore Master
Alumni
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
Campaign Benefactor
putting ingots in my backpack to make ringmail armor. The more I make, the heavier my load gets.

why does ringmail weigh more than the ingots it's made from?
 

GarthGrey

Grand Poobah
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
I"ve always found it funny how high level mages can summon the elemental of their choice...Come forth Water Elm !!....Kal Vas Xen An Flam....SUCCESS !!!....and now for some fruit....In Mani Ylem.....please be an apple please be an apple please be an apple......Sausage......ARRRRRGHH!!!!!
 

BeaIank

Crazed Zealot
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
Campaign Supporter
I find it hilarious that it is faster to gain magery by poking things with a -29 mage weapon metal stick or with a -29 mage weapon bow than it is by actually casting spells.
 

MalagAste

Belaern d'Zhaunil
Alumni
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
Campaign Supporter
I
Carrying around my backpack full of chairs and other furniture. What a sight I must make walking down the street.

Watching my pack of five fully trained sheep destroy an ogre. Now how can I properly explain that one in my roleplaying stories? Might have to go all Reepicheep/Narnia with it. Then again, what would a realistic battle between humans and giants look like?

This is not really funny but more of a hmmm thought. What sort of effect would public moongates, gate spells, and recall spells have on warfare and economics? For that matter, what type of effect would a create food spell have on it? Bring some mages with med and LRC suits and you can feed your whole army without worrying about supply lines. Then again, who needs supply lines with gate spells?
Well has to be magic because we often carry a miniature boat and pocket pony...
 

Prince Erik

Seasoned Veteran
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
In addition to all the great ones already listed, here's my contributions:

  • What a poor world it is where not one member of the population knows how to swim or wade. Oh look, a stream....
  • Its amazing how those tiny little twigs can stop a grown person cold in their tracks, even when on a horse! Oh and why do horses run faster when you're sitting on them than when they're following you or in the wild?
  • Flame strikes from monsters/people do quite a bit of damage, yet a fire beetle that's hot enough to smelt ore doesn't even raise your body temperature when you're sitting on it...
  • Do we have a sky? There's daylight and night time but what does the sky look like? I wonder what color it is...
  • Though I'm not complaining, the fact that the noble greater dragon whose intelligence dwarfs my own happily listens to most of the dumb things I make it do without any real complaints... that's not counting the fact that it can't walk around an obstacle to follow me...
  • I'm very glad my characters don't look 20 years older than when I created them...
 

Dot_Warner

Grand Inquisitor
Governor
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
  • Flame strikes from monsters/people do quite a bit of damage, yet a fire beetle that's hot enough to smelt ore doesn't even raise your body temperature when you're sitting on it...
Asbestos. The carapace covering the dorsal surface of their thorax is asbestos...so don't go breathing around them.
 

MoxZinnia

Adventurer
Stratics Veteran
Whenever we build houses, the lots can only be entered from the South. Once on the lot, we can leave by going South, or by going East. But not West, or North.
 

Tyrath

Grand Poobah
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
All of these years and the lack of being able to poop or pee is taking its toll. At least I can take a bath now and then to relieve the eyeballs floating and the belly bloating. I do know why stratics is so interesting at time......... because all of our characters are full of......................
 

Dot_Warner

Grand Inquisitor
Governor
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
Gargoyles can fly but only over territory where a person could walk, i.e. a gargoyle can't fly from New Magincia to Haven.
I find gargoyles hovering in place far more ridiculous. Their wings simply 1) don't flap fast enough or 2) aren't big enough in relation to their 8" bodies/mass.

(No, I'm not willing to accept "magic" as the reason for this one :p)
 

Fridgster

Crazed Zealot
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
UNLEASHED
Never understood how we could have a spell called Vampiric embrace, yet vampires don't seem to exist...
 

Dizzy

Lore Master
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Campaign Benefactor
I found a book on a monster. And it was written by ME!
 

Basara

UO Forum Moderator
Moderator
Professional
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Wiki Moderator
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Campaign Supporter
The massive weight GAIN of items when you craft them - like how 2 stone worth of ingots become a 14-stone (or is it 17?) War mace or 15-stone piece of ringmail.

Getting 2 kinds of wood from the same tree.

flying birds or mongbats blocking my ship.

On a more magical note, monsters using 6th level "Dispel" to dispel multiple summons (you can tell by watching the power words) when we can't dispel our OWN summoning of them without using 7th level "Mass Dispel", singly or in multiples.
 
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