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It isn't really like that. Right now, while a thief's skill is checked of course on their steal attempt, the other factors are really artificial. NPC and other players often "see" what is going on, even if the victim doesn't, and from what I recall of the times I have been stolen from, a stealthed thief who was next to me, pops out suddenly (auto revealed) when they successfully steal something.
The whole stealth thing of being "invisible" is really dumb to me. If someone manages to brush pass me in a shopping setting and lifts my wallet or manages to cut my purse strap and run off with it, and if I chase them down and stop them (or someone else does) that would be a "natural" thieving process. But something "invisible" sidling up to me, grabbing something, and then "popping out" suddenly after the deed is done, and perhaps some NPC calls out for guards, and the thief is insta whacked, at which point the item stolen "magically" is unavailable to reclaim, that is just dumb.
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You are overlooking another equally "natural" thieving process. The one in which somebody _you didn't notice_ lifts your wallet. That's what stealth tries to simulate, in a somewhat gross and cumbersome way. The fact that he is "invisible" actually means that your character has not realized his presence. Unfortunately the implementation of stealth does not differentiate amongst the different players, moving into shadows, crawling in the grass, etc, so it's either being noticed by everybody or nobody.
Also, the "pop out" does not happen AFTER the deed is done, but BEFORE. If you use the steal skill (before targeting anything) you pop out of hiding and cannot go back before 10 secs, and although I agree that it is really an odd game mechanic, it is useful to allow everybody a chance to catch the thief. I agree that it is awkward, but I cannot even start to imagine the complaints if it were not there...
As far as the NPCs calling guards... what's wrong with that? I mean, somebody lifted my wallet, I didn't notice it, but another guy saw that and call out. What's wrong with that? Well, except when some NPC thief guildmaster calls for guards...
As far as not being able to reclaim the stolen good, I thought that if the thief is guardwhacked the stolen item goes back to the pack, regardless of the two-minutes bless bug. The odd thing is when you kill the thief and you cannot reclaim your goods.