The sad story of goats, town scrier and lost dreams

[Scrumpy Jack]

Ello all!

I heard that Crazy Miggie is back in our lands and I wanted to let him know about my sad adventure with the goats. Now, it's been a while since I posted it here and I can't seem to find it anywhere. So please bear with me when I am posting it again. If yer don't like it, just go somewhere else, there's enough to read ...

Now, here we go :


The Heartwrenching Story of how Scrumpy Jack got scammed by the Town Scrier of Trinsic and therefore lost all interest in herding goats (Part 1)

It was another fine morning in the handsome city of Trinsic when Scrumpy Jack woke up in one of his many sleeping establishments.

He paid for the night with one of his standard rebukes for when he is asked to pay something and left in good spirit.

After a quick wash and his morning exercises he was ready to face whatever life had in stock for him today. And you, dear reader, can be sure that it will have something lurking around the corner!

Scrumpy did his usual round and got chatted up by some shifty looking fellow

He thought „Chuck, what kind of name is that for a Noble? I am sure there is something fishy here .. and this time it’s NOT my socks!“. So Scrumpy halted and said:

Well, I do not want to repeat here what this particular „Noble“ was proposing to Scrumpy. Only this: it involved a trip to the harbour, a dolphin in a cage and some very, very discomforting ideas of „Chuck“ what fun is. Needless to say that even Scrumpy turned his back in horror and left without even considering the offer ... well, at least not for longer than 20 seconds.

Scrumpy paid his visit to some of the shiny shops of Trinsic, but wasn’t very lucky to secure himself a breakfast. The shopkeepers were having a very watchful eye on him and completely mis-understood his jesting when he tried to manouver assorted objects into his pockets. Only the jeweler showed a bit more pity, maybe because it was Scrumpy’s first visit to his shop.

Scrumpy thanked Ian with all the respect he was able to muster, threw a longing glance at the presented goods, but decided to keep his hands clean here. He would stay away from the twinkling stones as long as the jeweler feels charitable.

And so he trotted on, some gold in his pocket, to the tavern. Here, he knew, a hearty breakfast and maybe a game of cards were waiting for him ...

End of part 1

 

[Scrumpy Jack]

The Heartwrenching Story of how Scrumpy Jack got scammed by the Town Crier of Trinsic and therefore lost all interest in herding goats (Part 2)

On return to our passionate story we find Scrumpy sitting in the tavern and enjoying ... well, nothing. The 6 pieces of gold Ian the Jeweler gave him are long spent on drink and some bacon. Scrumpy planned to make a little cash by playing cards with unsuspecting punters (and the appropriate amount of cheating would have assured his success), but nobody was willing to be his victim so early in the day.

So Scrumpy sat there alone, bored and still hungry.

After a while of mindless gazing into thin air, Scrumpy got on his feet and left to roam the streets a bit more. Maybe he will be lucky at the bank? The majestic Trinsic bank was deserted. A few clerks were watching their fingernails grow and the sad song of a weirdly shrieking bird was heard in the distance. The Town Crier Candra was doing his / hers shift in front of the bank (Scrumpy was never quite sure what sex this imposing figure was), but even this person was not willing to part with any gold.

„Well then“ Scrumpy thought, „I guess another plan is in order. How about ... errrr ... well ...“. He scratched his head. Now, how to make some money, when nobody is willing to give you any? But then he heard that strange bird shrieking again and had in idea. „Goats!!“ he shouted and left for the beach.

End of Part 2

 

[Scrumpy Jack]

The Heartwrenching Story of how Scrumpy Jack got scammed by the Town Crier of Trinsic and therefore lost all interest in herding goats (Part 3)

The Trinsic beach is a wondrous place indeed. There is actually very little beach. Most of that small island is actually ever-green grass and because of this a lot of cattle and game lives here. And for no apparent reason, groups of gypsies and brigands pop-up out of the ground in quite alarming numbers. As I said, a wondrous place.

Scrumpy might not know the name of this island, but he knows how to get there. So we find our hapless hero on his way through the city, past shops and stables and over the grand bridge. And it doesn’t take him long to find what he came here for: goats!

One can only speculate what makes him feeling so close to goats, closer than, say, cows or liches. It might be the long beards they proudly wear, or the jolly tails ... or simply the smell. Anyway, he started his work right away, trying to tame one of the creatures.

He didn’t succeed right away, of course, but with a little sweet-talking and pebbles, he pretended to be delicious goat-nip, he finally befriended the first of the herd.

„Now, that wasn’t too bad, wasn’t it?“ he said to himself, patting the goats bottom. „On to the next one!“

But while he was busy convincing the second goat about the profits to come with him, some neckless rogues were sneaking up to him. And before he knew it he was under attack!

If you know Scrumpy as good as, well, almost every sewer rat in Britain does, then you will know how he reacted : he made a runner! Leaving his pride and the goats behind, he sprinted towards the bridge, expecting it to be guarded and yelping for help. He got wounded, but the poor goats were even worse off: the brigands killed them without any mercy!

Scrumpy made it into safety and let the Trinsic Guards deal with the scoundrels, but the goats were gone and he didn’t dare to go back. So what to do now? Only some divine intervention could safe Scrumpys lunch. But was any divinity watching ?

End of Part 3

 

[Scrumpy Jack]

The Heartwrenching Story of how Scrumpy Jack got scammed by the Town Crier of Trinsic and therefore lost all interest in herding goats (Part 4)

„Ah well“, thought Scrumpy two minutes later. „I waited long enough now for somebody from above showing up.“

And as his stunning plan didn’t work out the way he expected it to do, he went straight back to try it again.

When he tamed three new goats under the watchful eyes of the Trinsic Guards (who would have loved to kick him out of town, but LePear had organised some permits for the members of his guild from the captain of the guards and he was not shy to shove his into everybody‘s face, if they asked for it or not), Scrumpy proudly led them through the city to the shiny building of the Bank of Trinsic.

As we all know, the officials of the bank are not the most attending ones. In fact, they are so indifferent to their surroundings, that you have to literally shout at them if you want to be served. Don’t wait for them to be the first ones to engage in a conversation, you will be utterly disappointed.

Scrumpy knew this as well, of course, and he has often used the bank for his own little businesses before. But when he entered the counter hall, accompanied by three somewhat out-of-place looking goats, one of the cashiers actually looked up and snarled at him. The cashier left it with this and turned back to his book („A history of bank robberies and other jolly stories“). So Scrumpy sat down on the next chair and started part 2 of his plan: the exploiting of the goats udders.

So he whipped out a somewhat dirty looking glass he somewhat forgot to leave on the taverns when Mary and him had their breakfast there the other day, and went to work. With some tentative squeezing, some curses and a good measure of threatening, he finally enticed enough milk out of the poor beast to fill his glass. Triumphantly he jumped up and looked around for a customer.

The only person nearby, besides of the cashiers of course, but Scrumpy knew that asking them to buy his goats milk would be endangering his welcome, was that rude town crier outside the building. Not one to be re-buffed and then not trying again, Scrumpy went up to him.

Surprisingly, the town crier took the glass, tried a sip of milk, smacked his lips and finished it off. With a big grin on his face he handed the emptied glass back to Scrumpy and resumed ignoring him as usual.

„Errr ...“, Scrumpy thought, „something is missing here!“

„Payment!!“, he yelled and tucked the criers shirt. „You have to pay for that! What do you think I am? A free milk-bar?“ The crier gave him a glance of total disgust and looked the other way.

Now this didn’t go down well with Scrumpy. After all the work, danger and having to touch an animals things, this joke of a town representative won’t pay him? He won’t have that!

But as you can imagine, it didn’t help. The town crier kept ignoring him, knowing that nobody was around to assist Scrumpy. After some more kicking, prodding and shouting, Scrumpy had to realise that he stood no chance. The crier had taken the milk and turned himself off to his surroundings. His spirits sank. He tried to make a honest coin and the world won’t let him. Well, at least the world he knew won’t. Maybe it was time to move his attendance to other parts of the country. Maybe to Yew? He heard that the people living there were most accomodating ...

And so Scrumpy Jack left the stony city of Trinsic behind and went into the woods. It wasn’t yet time for sunset, and he had no horse, but a feeling of adventure was lieing in the air when he stepped through the gates into the wide forests ....

The End

 

[John II SRC]

Here we go again .....

 

[Mina_Lino]

Love it !

I want more !

 

[Irvyn]

Please accept my apologies on behalf of Trinsic. I have issued a severe reprimand to Candra and fined her 100 gold, which you may collect from me as compensation for your trouble.

Irvyn
Trinsic