The Night before Christmas in Felucca
T'was the night before Christmas when all through the shard
Not a creature was stirring, 'cept a macroing bard.
The backpacks were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes generous GMs soon would be there.
The bank thieves were nestled all snug in their robes
While visions of easy marks danced in their lobes.
All of us regulars had started to yawn
We had just settled down, and waited till dawn.
When out on the lawn there arose such a scream.
Everyone looked 'round, to scope out the scene.
Away to the front door, we flew like a flash
'Twas just in time for a halberd's last crash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Shone red from the blood of the newbie below.
Then, what should our wondering eyes thus impart?
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny great harts!
With white-bearded driver, all dressed in red,
The same as the name floating o'er his head,
He bent over the corpse, started carving away.
We knew in a moment, IT WAS SANTA PK!!!
Our numbers were many, our characters brave.
We all jumped on Santa PK in a wave!
More rapid than eagles, his great harts they came.
Santa PK cursed soundly, then called them by name.
Now Corp Por, now Vas Flam, now on Vas Ort Grav!
Now Ort Sanct, now Wis Quas, and others I have!
To the top of the hedge, to the top of the wall,
Rel Por away, por away, por away all!
And then, in a twinkling, we heard on the roof
The thumping and whumping of each little hoof.
We all headed inside, and as we turned round
Down the chimney came Santa PK with a bound.
Dressed in red magic plate, from his head to his foot,
He chopped down our tree, and then stole the rule-book.
He snooped all the guild mates, and summoned EVs,
Then stole all 15 of my insured boat keys!
His dimples, how merry! His twinkling eye!
He looked 'round, then said, "U R all gonna die!"
Then with no more words he went straight to his work;
To make us all take unplanned naps in the dirt.
I whipped out my kryss, as all followed suit.
We were hungry for Santa PK's blood and loot.
He had sullied our home, brought us nothing but grief!
He was worse than a Yew-Gate-PK or a thief!
My kryss, it whooshed, my kryss, it whiffed!
I couldn't hit Santa PK, I was all miffed!
My fellow guild mates hurled their arrows and spells
But they all missed Santa PK just as well.
His casting was swift, his footwork sublime.
Three bolts he could put in the air at one time!
He guzzed Gheals with 1 second's delay,
And I wondered, "Now why can't *I* do it that way?"
The light bulb went on, I let out a scream.
"This cheater must utilize speedhacks, he's mean!"
Santa PK turned his head 'round my way.
"Corp Por" *thwack* "Corp Por", all I then saw was gray.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
Flew the bodies of guild mates, those doomed to die.
And then, when he was the last one left standing
Santa PK ran forthwith to the landing.
He gathered our heads, and he gathered our loot
He jumped in his sleigh in his red armor suit.
As he drove out of sight, I heard him exclaim
"Man, U guys suk! U guys R all LaM3!"
T'was the night before Christmas when all through the shard
Not a creature was stirring, 'cept a macroing bard.
The backpacks were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes generous GMs soon would be there.
The bank thieves were nestled all snug in their robes
While visions of easy marks danced in their lobes.
All of us regulars had started to yawn
We had just settled down, and waited till dawn.
When out on the lawn there arose such a scream.
Everyone looked 'round, to scope out the scene.
Away to the front door, we flew like a flash
'Twas just in time for a halberd's last crash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Shone red from the blood of the newbie below.
Then, what should our wondering eyes thus impart?
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny great harts!
With white-bearded driver, all dressed in red,
The same as the name floating o'er his head,
He bent over the corpse, started carving away.
We knew in a moment, IT WAS SANTA PK!!!
Our numbers were many, our characters brave.
We all jumped on Santa PK in a wave!
More rapid than eagles, his great harts they came.
Santa PK cursed soundly, then called them by name.
Now Corp Por, now Vas Flam, now on Vas Ort Grav!
Now Ort Sanct, now Wis Quas, and others I have!
To the top of the hedge, to the top of the wall,
Rel Por away, por away, por away all!
And then, in a twinkling, we heard on the roof
The thumping and whumping of each little hoof.
We all headed inside, and as we turned round
Down the chimney came Santa PK with a bound.
Dressed in red magic plate, from his head to his foot,
He chopped down our tree, and then stole the rule-book.
He snooped all the guild mates, and summoned EVs,
Then stole all 15 of my insured boat keys!
His dimples, how merry! His twinkling eye!
He looked 'round, then said, "U R all gonna die!"
Then with no more words he went straight to his work;
To make us all take unplanned naps in the dirt.
I whipped out my kryss, as all followed suit.
We were hungry for Santa PK's blood and loot.
He had sullied our home, brought us nothing but grief!
He was worse than a Yew-Gate-PK or a thief!
My kryss, it whooshed, my kryss, it whiffed!
I couldn't hit Santa PK, I was all miffed!
My fellow guild mates hurled their arrows and spells
But they all missed Santa PK just as well.
His casting was swift, his footwork sublime.
Three bolts he could put in the air at one time!
He guzzed Gheals with 1 second's delay,
And I wondered, "Now why can't *I* do it that way?"
The light bulb went on, I let out a scream.
"This cheater must utilize speedhacks, he's mean!"
Santa PK turned his head 'round my way.
"Corp Por" *thwack* "Corp Por", all I then saw was gray.
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
Flew the bodies of guild mates, those doomed to die.
And then, when he was the last one left standing
Santa PK ran forthwith to the landing.
He gathered our heads, and he gathered our loot
He jumped in his sleigh in his red armor suit.
As he drove out of sight, I heard him exclaim
"Man, U guys suk! U guys R all LaM3!"
