H
HectorFirebrand
Guest
WONDER WHAT LOTHER’S INTO TODAY?
So there I was, just sitting at home darning some socks or gibing Sparky (my dragon) a bath or some such. Minding my own business as usual when I just started wondering how my dear old friend Lother was doing. Lother is a friendly enuff sort you know and it had been a while since we had shared tales so I decided I would send my messenger bird to check on his health and the welfare of Ordos Sylvanos in general. I thought perhaps we could care a mug of ale (hot cocoa fer Loth of course) and speak of days gone by.
So and rummaged around in my chests ( I really must get a maid service in here) looking for the little bird I use to carry my messenger. “Now where could that little devil be?” I wondered. He had a habit of trying to play hide and seek with me when it seemed that I needed him most but usually if I just kept looking eventually he would turn up. So I searched behind my rune library, under the chests, in the chests, behind the wall cabinets, and finally I found him perched way up on top of the patio archway where apparently he had taken it upon himself to build a nest out of some old scrolls I had left lying around.
“Eyeseecue, you stupid little bird!!” I admonished, “if you don’t stay out of my things ill feed you to a ogre lord!!!” You see the little critter had a penchant fer eating up my blood moss though how he can stand it I just don’t know. Seems like it would give him a bellyache but apparently it doesn’t stay in him long enuff to do any harm (my best cloak can attest to the whereabouts of this moss after hes finished digesting it.
“Come here bird I want you to take this messege to Lothar at his guild tower straightaway and don’t be lollygagging around.” I instructed him as I penned a short note on the back of a page I tore out of a nearby book. So off he flew promising to return quickly even though I knew that since he had to fly over Britain he would be late. You see little Eyeseeque can’t seem to resist gossiping with the other messeger birds he meets preening themselves on the statues outside Lord Brits former residence.
Yes I say former because it seems Lord British hasn’t been seen around much as of late which has caused no small amount of alarm among the peasants and nobles who call Britain home. I don’t know what the big deal is as he stopped by for coffe and cake the other night and mentioned in passing about how he grew tired of the limelight and retired to a place called Ansalon for a brief respite. Unfortunately he neglected to inorm his constabulary of this before he left so now there has been no end of chaos what with the development of factions trying to wrest control of the throne.
So I returned to my household duties while I waited for my little birdy to return. And I waited, and waited, and waited until finally I had nothing else to do to keep me busy. Well it was no surprise really that Eyeseecue had failed in his quest as there were many things that could have happened to him on his way so I wasn’t really concerned. However, I was very bored and you know idle hands are the devils work, (which I can attest to as he told me personally) so I gathered my cloak and regents and set out to visit my friend personally. I was sure he wouldn’t mind my showing up unannounced (although Leah doesn’t seem to appreciate my kindly gestures so much) so I summoned the magical energies and spoke the magic words then POOF! There i was standing outside the tower.
Well all seemed well at the tower that day what with the sun shining and all but being the observant person that I am i noticed that no birds were singing nor were there any little critters scampering about however i did hear the low voices of people talking in hushed tones coming from inside the tower. “Ahh a secret meeting!” I thought to myself. Surely they would be in need of my quiet counsel if indeed they were planning some sort of foray vs. the forces of evil. So I took a moment to compose myself (spell casting is quite orgasmic you know) and stepped up to the huge iron doors to announce myself.
With a smile on my face and a song in my heart, as always
, I knocked on the door. The sounds coming from inside the tower instantly hushed. Hmmm.... I wondered who could be in there. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK, I pounded a little louder this time. I heard a lot of shuffling around and low voices hushing one another. “A surprise party!!” I thought with glee. And surely it must be being held for me although i wasnt due to have a birthday for at least 3 more cycles of the moon. Of course that had to be the answer as I hadnt received an invitation (tho that could also be attested to my feathered friend also) so I threw open the door and yelled “SURPRISE!!!!” at the top of my lungs.
Well I was surprised thats for sure tho I wasn’t the only one. You see when I stepped into the room I found myself surrounded by a posse of lesser daemons!!!! Now normally I would have simply excused myself and left quietly with my dignity a little wounded but for some reason I was compelled to stay. You see it appeared I had walked into a burgurlary in progress as the beast were trashing the tower!
Now I knew that Lother would not approve of these slavering devils making themselves at home in his tower and I could tell by the way the bartender was bound and gagged in the corner that this was an unwelcome visit for sure. “If you don’t mind gentlemen im going to have to ask you all to leave before the lord of the manor gets home,” I said politely.
Well the daemons began to laugh and the largest one leaned way down and peered into my face. “And whut ar you gonna do if we decide to stay old man?” he drooled. Well the rest of the monsters took a menacing step toward me and I felt a little nervous as I was drastically outnumbered.
You see in my past life I had dealt with daemons on numerous occasions but one of the tricks to summoning these beasts is ensuring you always have the upper hand. Unfortunately this was not the case here so I pondered my options. A simple Kal Ort Por would take me away from these monsters but I feared for the servants welfare if I left them alone. I decided tact was my best defense and I took a deep breathe to calm my nerves.
“Well if there is something in particular you seek here then perhaps I could help you find it and then you could be on your way.” I said amicably.
Now one thing I had forgotten to remember in my old age was that otherworldly beasts like this don’t respond to niceties as well as men do and I was brutally reminded of this when the leader snatched me up by my robes and shook me violently. These old bones don’t take to harshness like this the way they did when I was a youth what with my rheumatism and all and I feared I would lose conciounessness before I could rid my friends house of these unwelcome visitors.
“Ok old fella we just gonna ask you this one time,” the biggest one growled as he continued to shake me, “where’s the Daemon Lord?”
Well that was an easy enuff question to answer! “Well I’m the Daemon Lord is you must know,” I replied, “What can I do fer you?”
The beasts looked back and forth at one another, momentarily stunned. “No way yer not the Daemon Lord!” the leader exclaimed. “The daemon Lord is a giant of a man who holds in his grasp the power to destroy the world!”
The rest of the daemons began to guffaw as the leader threw me agaisnt the nearest wall, knocking over Lothar’s prize Liche Statue. I stood and smoothed the wrinkles out of my robe and replaced the staue to its former postition and said, “Well surely Im not the Daemon Lord now as I gave up that title a few years back! In fact now I have taken up the art of storytelling! Would you care to hear the Saga of E? Or perhaps another of my well known werks of literature?”
The largest daemon looked at me suspiciously. He leaned close as he eyed me up and down, his hot breath singing my eyebrows. He sniffed once, snorted, and looked to his bretheren.
“Take him!” he snarled, “We’ll let the master sort this out...”
So there I was, just sitting at home darning some socks or gibing Sparky (my dragon) a bath or some such. Minding my own business as usual when I just started wondering how my dear old friend Lother was doing. Lother is a friendly enuff sort you know and it had been a while since we had shared tales so I decided I would send my messenger bird to check on his health and the welfare of Ordos Sylvanos in general. I thought perhaps we could care a mug of ale (hot cocoa fer Loth of course) and speak of days gone by.
So and rummaged around in my chests ( I really must get a maid service in here) looking for the little bird I use to carry my messenger. “Now where could that little devil be?” I wondered. He had a habit of trying to play hide and seek with me when it seemed that I needed him most but usually if I just kept looking eventually he would turn up. So I searched behind my rune library, under the chests, in the chests, behind the wall cabinets, and finally I found him perched way up on top of the patio archway where apparently he had taken it upon himself to build a nest out of some old scrolls I had left lying around.
“Eyeseecue, you stupid little bird!!” I admonished, “if you don’t stay out of my things ill feed you to a ogre lord!!!” You see the little critter had a penchant fer eating up my blood moss though how he can stand it I just don’t know. Seems like it would give him a bellyache but apparently it doesn’t stay in him long enuff to do any harm (my best cloak can attest to the whereabouts of this moss after hes finished digesting it.
“Come here bird I want you to take this messege to Lothar at his guild tower straightaway and don’t be lollygagging around.” I instructed him as I penned a short note on the back of a page I tore out of a nearby book. So off he flew promising to return quickly even though I knew that since he had to fly over Britain he would be late. You see little Eyeseeque can’t seem to resist gossiping with the other messeger birds he meets preening themselves on the statues outside Lord Brits former residence.
Yes I say former because it seems Lord British hasn’t been seen around much as of late which has caused no small amount of alarm among the peasants and nobles who call Britain home. I don’t know what the big deal is as he stopped by for coffe and cake the other night and mentioned in passing about how he grew tired of the limelight and retired to a place called Ansalon for a brief respite. Unfortunately he neglected to inorm his constabulary of this before he left so now there has been no end of chaos what with the development of factions trying to wrest control of the throne.
So I returned to my household duties while I waited for my little birdy to return. And I waited, and waited, and waited until finally I had nothing else to do to keep me busy. Well it was no surprise really that Eyeseecue had failed in his quest as there were many things that could have happened to him on his way so I wasn’t really concerned. However, I was very bored and you know idle hands are the devils work, (which I can attest to as he told me personally) so I gathered my cloak and regents and set out to visit my friend personally. I was sure he wouldn’t mind my showing up unannounced (although Leah doesn’t seem to appreciate my kindly gestures so much) so I summoned the magical energies and spoke the magic words then POOF! There i was standing outside the tower.
Well all seemed well at the tower that day what with the sun shining and all but being the observant person that I am i noticed that no birds were singing nor were there any little critters scampering about however i did hear the low voices of people talking in hushed tones coming from inside the tower. “Ahh a secret meeting!” I thought to myself. Surely they would be in need of my quiet counsel if indeed they were planning some sort of foray vs. the forces of evil. So I took a moment to compose myself (spell casting is quite orgasmic you know) and stepped up to the huge iron doors to announce myself.
With a smile on my face and a song in my heart, as always
, I knocked on the door. The sounds coming from inside the tower instantly hushed. Hmmm.... I wondered who could be in there. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK, I pounded a little louder this time. I heard a lot of shuffling around and low voices hushing one another. “A surprise party!!” I thought with glee. And surely it must be being held for me although i wasnt due to have a birthday for at least 3 more cycles of the moon. Of course that had to be the answer as I hadnt received an invitation (tho that could also be attested to my feathered friend also) so I threw open the door and yelled “SURPRISE!!!!” at the top of my lungs. Well I was surprised thats for sure tho I wasn’t the only one. You see when I stepped into the room I found myself surrounded by a posse of lesser daemons!!!! Now normally I would have simply excused myself and left quietly with my dignity a little wounded but for some reason I was compelled to stay. You see it appeared I had walked into a burgurlary in progress as the beast were trashing the tower!
Now I knew that Lother would not approve of these slavering devils making themselves at home in his tower and I could tell by the way the bartender was bound and gagged in the corner that this was an unwelcome visit for sure. “If you don’t mind gentlemen im going to have to ask you all to leave before the lord of the manor gets home,” I said politely.
Well the daemons began to laugh and the largest one leaned way down and peered into my face. “And whut ar you gonna do if we decide to stay old man?” he drooled. Well the rest of the monsters took a menacing step toward me and I felt a little nervous as I was drastically outnumbered.
You see in my past life I had dealt with daemons on numerous occasions but one of the tricks to summoning these beasts is ensuring you always have the upper hand. Unfortunately this was not the case here so I pondered my options. A simple Kal Ort Por would take me away from these monsters but I feared for the servants welfare if I left them alone. I decided tact was my best defense and I took a deep breathe to calm my nerves.
“Well if there is something in particular you seek here then perhaps I could help you find it and then you could be on your way.” I said amicably.
Now one thing I had forgotten to remember in my old age was that otherworldly beasts like this don’t respond to niceties as well as men do and I was brutally reminded of this when the leader snatched me up by my robes and shook me violently. These old bones don’t take to harshness like this the way they did when I was a youth what with my rheumatism and all and I feared I would lose conciounessness before I could rid my friends house of these unwelcome visitors.
“Ok old fella we just gonna ask you this one time,” the biggest one growled as he continued to shake me, “where’s the Daemon Lord?”
Well that was an easy enuff question to answer! “Well I’m the Daemon Lord is you must know,” I replied, “What can I do fer you?”
The beasts looked back and forth at one another, momentarily stunned. “No way yer not the Daemon Lord!” the leader exclaimed. “The daemon Lord is a giant of a man who holds in his grasp the power to destroy the world!”
The rest of the daemons began to guffaw as the leader threw me agaisnt the nearest wall, knocking over Lothar’s prize Liche Statue. I stood and smoothed the wrinkles out of my robe and replaced the staue to its former postition and said, “Well surely Im not the Daemon Lord now as I gave up that title a few years back! In fact now I have taken up the art of storytelling! Would you care to hear the Saga of E? Or perhaps another of my well known werks of literature?”
The largest daemon looked at me suspiciously. He leaned close as he eyed me up and down, his hot breath singing my eyebrows. He sniffed once, snorted, and looked to his bretheren.
“Take him!” he snarled, “We’ll let the master sort this out...”