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The Book of Zen, Episode Three: Council Chaos

  • Thread starter Zen(Europa)
  • Start date
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Z

Zen(Europa)

Guest
<a target="_blank" href=http://boards.stratics.com/php-bin/uo/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=uoeuropa&Number=1807927&page=2&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=1&part=>Episode One: The Disappearance of Kofu... </a>

<a target="_blank" href=http://boards.stratics.com/php-bin/uo/showflat.php?Cat=3&Board=uoeuropa&Number=1812306&page=&view=&sb=&o=&vc=1>Episode Two: A Dark Plot Unveiled... </a>


Episode Three: Council Chaos

Impy grinned impishly at the shocked expressions on the council members faces, before quickly placing a bound scroll on the council table, and then disappearing back though the portal.

Orangebeard unravelled the scroll and began to read the jaggedy writing out loud...


Greetings, Babblers

Your King has been kidnapped and presently languishes, at my pleasure, in the deepest, darkest dungeons of Imperia, where he currently provides entertainment for the many talents of Trixy the Warty.

In exchange for Kofu's release I demand a ransom of 100,000,000gp.

*At utterance of the amount, magical maniacal laughter is release which echoes around the Council Chamber*

Furthermore, my Imp assassins will strike down in cold blood one of Kofu's vendors, with each passing day, until my ransom is met.

Should no ransom be forthcoming before the last vendor dies, then let Kofu's very life be on your consciences.

Muhaaahaaa....

Yours gratefully
The Rodded One

P.S. I may be contacted at Imperia Labyrinths or at The Limp Imp Emporium, courtesy of Saggy the Imp.


"Outrage!!!" protested Barian, visibly shaking and banging his tankard furiously on the council table.

"I told you it was all down to tamers....... LOL........ you should all know by now that the only good tamer is dead one......!!!", exclaimed Suldrun triumphantly, dancing a gleeful I-told-you-so Rez-killing jig.

At the sound of this news, Carina started to sob.

Stunned by the sight of female unhappiness, Wikkr ruffled excitedly through his backpack for his emergency box of chocolates.

"Arf!!! Vote the Honey-centred chocolate snaffling Kas & Wikkr party...", added Kas, usefully.

"Fear not ladies", Brokenhelm boomed, rising from his chair, and adopting a heroic stance, "I swear upon my honour, that this injustice will not go unpunished."

"A worthy cause my friend. Let not this day go unheeded, lest the true meaning of friendship be lost, because I believe that a friend made today, is one less enemy we all face tomorrow." praised Dain, shaking Brokenhelm's hand firmly.

"I could make you all up some nice sandwiches for you noble quest *smiles*", offered Valfreyja.

"I PK u all!", threatened Dazzle.

Orangebeard interjected at this point, " I would suggest that the best course of action would be to discuss this sensibly and put together a well thought out strategy...."

"Boococks to that matey, I'm with Suldun", interrupted Fenster, "Forget these other dumb bints, I say we all holster up our best magic justice givers of Imp vanquishing, and go on a gribble-fest of biblical proportions that'll put the fear of Fenster into em, and while the wussy-assed butt-munchers are running like screaming schoolgirls, we can slot em for complete and total carnage! We'll be awash with gibblets! It'll be glorious!"

"Everything was fine before Trammel", grumbled Sburton.

"Yer, Im with u Fenster, with my speed, even my 99.9 fencing will own virtually everybody on the shard! Muhaaahaaa", laughed Weasel, whose outburst seemed to cut off rather suddenly as he mysteriously disappeared from the room without trace.

"u is all gay" supplied Wuffa.

"Wuffa you naughty boy, behave or Ill give you a good spanking *spank* *spank*", threatened Lady Breigh.

In the hope of soothing matters before they got too far out of hand, Kurt struck a up drinking ditty, which unfortunately led to Oona falling out of the air, and collapsing in a fit of giggles due to an excess dosage of Fairy Juice(tm).

As the Fairy Juice(tm) started to flow, Orangebeard, with a sigh, got up and left the Green Gargoyle, locking the door behind him with his large silver padlock of anti-babblement.

To be continued...


<P ID="edit"><FONT class="small">Edited by Zen(Europa) on 06/05/01 05:00 PM.</FONT></P>
 
B

Bootae

Guest
highest quality :

more more more

/php-bin/shared/images/icons/pint.gif<font color=red>Son, I'm thirty.. I only went with your mother cos she's dirty...</font color=red>/php-bin/shared/images/icons/pint.gif
<a target="_blank" href=http://www.bootae.org>www.bootae.org</a>
 
T

Thymaval

Guest
ha not a recognised babbler then? right i'll bloody sort that out, watch this space, or any space you want to, as its a free country and my opinion accounts for a little bit, if not more

anyways that was an amusing read, as bootae says, more more more

<center>
<a target="_blank" href=http://walk.to/kt>The Knights Templar</a>


</center>

/php-bin/shared/images/icons/evild.gif Thymaval says there's a litte Wikkr in all of us, everybody get out quick!/php-bin/shared/images/icons/evild.gif
 
E

Elrik_Garin

Guest
*laughs* Again a nice one, Zen.

But I fear it will last ages to get rid of Kofu if you just kill 1 of his vendors each days. Make it like "I will bomb 1 of his large tower shops each day" and we are sorted within "just" a month or two. *grins evilly*

And I think 100.000.000 gp is way too low....Kofu could pay that just with the checks he holds on his person and doesn't even have to "scratch" his bankbox. *smirks*

Anyway...don't let this be the end...let it be the start of a new era...muahahaha *cackles manically*

Lord Elrik Garin, {The Fallen Phoenix}

"Heroes will be forgotten - but legends never die !"
 
Z

Zen(Europa)

Guest
My pleasure Nyn. *smiles*

I should also say to the people Ive included in these stories, that you make this forum the place it is. Thank you.

To those I havnt yet included, I guess Ill have to read more intently.

Cheers
Zen

 
F

Falish

Guest
*eager to see the new episode*

*curious who or how his king will be freed in the end* /php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif

<center>Falish Lightblade, sticking around for some more days in UO as
<font color=FFD700> Archduke and proud member of <a target="_blank" href=http://oeh.valoria.org>the Order of the Ebon Hand</a></font color=FFD700>
<font color=4682B4>Citizen of the township of <a target="_blank" href=http://www.valoria.org>Valoria</a></font color=4682B4>
</center>
 
Z

Zen(Europa)

Guest
*Under threat of banishment, goes off to work on Episode 4....*

*edits Episode 3*

 
S

sburton84

Guest
Bah,
That wouldnt have happened a year ago......
Everything was fine before Trammel.....

<center>~~~
Sburton84 - 100% Anti-Trammel Grumbling Vet Extrordinaire

Dilbert Tries Out The Actions In The New UO:3D Client</center>
 
P

Paxicon-EU

Guest
<blockquote><hr>


That wouldnt have happened a year ago......
Everything was fine before Trammel.....


<hr></blockquote>
Someone wants to be mentioned in part 4 i see /php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif



/php-bin/shared/images/icons/cool.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/cool.gifPaxicon/php-bin/shared/images/icons/cool.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/cool.gif
/php-bin/shared/images/icons/roll.gif"He may not be smart, but boy is he l33t!"/php-bin/shared/images/icons/roll.gif
 
S

sburton84

Guest
No, look, *Points*, I was already in episode 3, :)

<center>~~~
Sburton84 - 100% Anti-Trammel Grumbling Vet Extrordinaire

Dilbert Tries Out The Actions In The New UO:3D Client</center>
 

Barian

Always Present
Alumni
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
No its obligatory......he has to say it at least once in every thread
Its in his contract with Kofu............/php-bin/shared/images/icons/wink.gif


<center><font color=blue>Barian</font color=blue>

/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/roll.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif<font color=red> BarianTech™ Enterprises Inc /php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/roll.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif
</center>
 
G

Gringoleader

Guest
If the server doesn't come up soon there'll probably be books of Zen and Fen and any other gringo that wants to write all over the place. I hate waiting for the timewarp...

Owner/Operator of Fenster /php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrinking.gif Larry Harmless /php-bin/shared/images/icons/smash.gif Pikey McPhoo /php-bin/shared/images/icons/jestera.gif and QueeQuag /php-bin/shared/images/icons/uriel.gif

StL own the Shard /php-bin/shared/images/icons/newbie.gif
Agree with me or be wrong.
 
C

Carina

Guest
[dramaqueen]*whimpers* I only had one line[/dramaqueen]

/php-bin/shared/images/icons/magic.gif I have a mage... Solina of 1 k
/php-bin/shared/images/icons/smash.gif I have a warrior... Carina of TDV
/php-bin/shared/images/icons/scary.gif I have a naughty girl... Noxia
/php-bin/shared/images/icons/dunce.gif I have a stupid mule... Mailia
/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggringift.gif I have a generous alchy... Caialyn of 1 k
 
C

Carina

Guest
only j/k *hugs Zen* keep 'em coming!

/php-bin/shared/images/icons/magic.gif I have a mage... Solina of 1 k
/php-bin/shared/images/icons/smash.gif I have a warrior... Carina of TDV
/php-bin/shared/images/icons/scary.gif I have a naughty girl... Noxia
/php-bin/shared/images/icons/dunce.gif I have a stupid mule... Mailia
/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggringift.gif I have a generous alchy... Caialyn of 1 k
 
L

Lady Breigh

Guest
I've always wanted to spank wuffa ...

<center>
</center><center>Guildmistress of NbN</center><center>/php-bin/shared/images/icons/lick.gif<a target="_blank" href=http://www.Breigh.com>Naughty but Nice Website</a>/php-bin/shared/images/icons/lick.gif</center>
 
M

McLeod

Guest
Good one Zen! Atleast you *could* enter a line from me too! /php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif

<center>

Retarted boardie since September 2000
<font color=blue>Offical Mr.Magincia 2001
 
I

imported_Dain

Guest
Seems you have a talent for this my friend, I read this just before I go out for the evening and you have made me laugh until I have tears in my eyes.

Well done.

Regards.


Tari, Guildmistress of GYE
Calador, Avenger of GYE
Dain, Quartermaster of GYE
Barathorn, Initiate of GYE
Garret, The Guardian.

Did you know reading Tolkien is Hobbit forming?
 
L

Laton@Europa

Guest
Hehehehe... /php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif

Like it Zen. Keep it coming. Best laugh since old Rid's tales... /php-bin/shared/images/icons/smile.gif


<center>

<font color=blue>Laton {StL}, Ione {GYE}, Quinn {LB} and Rubra
Commander of the <a target="_blank" href=http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/britanniaguards/index.htm>Britannia Guards</a></center></font color=blue>
 

Barian

Always Present
Alumni
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
Been in two episodes now............../php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif


<center><font color=blue>Barian</font color=blue>

/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/roll.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif<font color=red> BarianTech™ Enterprises Inc /php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/roll.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif
</center>
 
L

Laton@Europa

Guest
Two? Oh, someone likes you then... /php-bin/shared/images/icons/smile.gif

<center>

<font color=blue>Laton {StL}, Ione {GYE}, Quinn {LB} and Rubra
Commander of the <a target="_blank" href=http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/britanniaguards/index.htm>Britannia Guards</a></center></font color=blue>
 

Barian

Always Present
Alumni
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
Or not........../php-bin/shared/images/icons/wink.gif


<center><font color=blue>Barian</font color=blue>

/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/roll.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif<font color=red> BarianTech™ Enterprises Inc /php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/roll.gif/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif
</center>
 
A

Anglachel

Guest
Oh my...you really saved my day again. Douglas Adams class writing!

"Been there, done that...you want me to show the scars?"
 
B

Bustywench

Guest
Even better than the others Zen honey, Loved Wikkr and the choccies!

Big squidgy hugs from the big breasted bint in the corner - keep me giggling with another installment soon!

Hmmmm....Wikkr and chocolates....(leaves to enter private fantasy world)

<font color=008B8B><center>David Cedarwood - Mr Moonglow 2001
Rhiannon - Professional sidekick</font color=008B8B>
<font color=68228B> VETERAN NEWBIE - PERMANENT TRAMMELITE</font color=68228B></center>
 
B

Brokenhelm

Guest
LOL!!
People are looking at me in a strange way for laughing in front the computer!/php-bin/shared/images/icons/biggrin.gif

<center>

<font color=blue>Four men, two good - two bad.. I won´t tell you who´s who...
Brokenhelm to the rescue!!
</font color=blue></center>
 

John II SRC

Lore Master
Stratics Veteran
Stratics Legend
Just thought to look up the oldest available thread and bump it up to the front again *g*

*bump*

Call me crazy .... *giggles slightly crazed*
 
G

Guest

Guest
<blockquote><hr>

Just thought to look up the oldest available thread and bump it up to the front again *g*

*bump*

Call me crazy .... *giggles slightly crazed*

[/ QUOTE ]

Heheh, for a second I thought Zen had returned to the fold!

Pfft!! I miss Zen and the judges heh. Used to have a lot of fun with them visiting to tax Dreamstone. Still have one of the old books they handed out proclaiming their laws and taxes


Wenchy
 
L

Lady Arianne

Guest
RTLFC

I hadnt seen this before.Truly awesome stuff.Thanks for the bump


*edit*
Darn,the other 2 links dont work anymore .

Anyone got the stories and can post them ,please ?
 
G

Guest

Guest
cripes theres some real old names in this one. brings back memories of the better times.
 
D

Deric Brokenhelm

Guest
<blockquote><hr>

cripes theres some real old names in this one. brings back memories of the better times.

[/ QUOTE ]
Who are you?
 
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