Thank you to the people who have voted and replied so far.
I have to echo a lot of the comments that Spiritless, Endrik, and Uvtha have made. Time is so short these days, it seems. One of the things outside of UO that has kept me extra-busy lately is RL "crafting." I discovered the Ravelry site earlier this year and found new inspiration for using up my RL stash of yarns and threads. I've especially fallen in love with the amigurumi patterns by a certain Argentinian designer. They're so charming, but they have many, many pieces to make and a bit of embroidery to do as well. With the holidays coming up, I've got a hard deadline for getting all my knitting and crocheting projects done. But I know it will be worth it.
With all that to do, on top of how much time we spend these days helping out my daughter with babysitting her three boys, I find little time to play UO. Maybe a half hour in the mornings here or there or late in the evening. I've tried to keep current with what's going on by reading Stratics almost every day and then poking around a bit on TC when we get a new publish. However, when it comes to actually participating in the newer content that requires grouping with other people, I feel like I run into a wall because I'm not on when my guildmates are and I am really hesitant to just barge in on other people that I don't know. I feel so out of touch with who's who on the several shards where I do have capable characters.
I've thought about asking in general chat about grouping with people, but too many times on various shards I've seen people either ignored or castigated when they do that. And I wonder also if doing so is the equivalent of asking the troublemakers to just come along and try to spoil things because they have nothing better to do. I could just jump in and try to participate. But I really have no desire to fumble things and end up aggravating someone who already knows what they are doing to the point that they start doing stuff like pulling spawn on me on purpose or kill-stealing or bad-mouthing me in general chat, etc. When you don't really know what you're doing and what the informal rules are these days for group situations, given how there have been changes in how things drop, it's often just easier to avoid those types of situations and go do something else.
Also, with this new dungeon designed so that getting in and out is so time-consuming, I hesitate to even go there to try the non-town pod part of it on a solo basis. Just like dungeons in Fel, Fel T2A, or Wrong dungeon in Trammel, I think twice about going to places where you can't recall or gate out if I suspect I may have to log off in a hurry.
I don't fault the devs for putting out the content that they do. UO is, after all, an MMO and it makes sense that they would develop new content that requires grouping with other players. And as this survey is showing, there are apparently many people who still have lots of time to devote to playing UO. I do wish, though, that there was some innovative way for them to occasionally add new content that is more viable for players like me who don't have a ton of time to play. I feel myself slipping further and further out of touch with things in UO as my gear stays stuck in a bygone era because I haven't made the time (and/or the gold) to keep it updated.
I know some will suggest joining a shard-wide alliance so it's easier to find others to group with. However, when you're not the leader of the guild you're already in and have no desire to leave that guild, it's not always your decision to make. And many of us do, rightly I believe, have concerns about allying with other people that we don't know well because of game mechanics surrounding stealing from and killing alliance mates. Also, without the ability to display alliance membership, do an online character or guild search, and with so many people these days using the title gump to show titles other than their guild titles and affiliation, it could be very difficult to identify who is even on regularly if you are in an alliance.
It really is no one's fault that the situation is what it is. It's just sad, though, to feel yourself losing touch with something you once held so dear. You know deep down inside that at some point, for your own health and well-being, you will finally have to admit that you will never be able to give this venture the time it deserves to make it truly enjoyable again and that it's time to cut your ties for good and move on.
Anyway, thanks for the feedback from everyone so far and if you haven't voted yet, please consider doing so. I think the results are pretty interesting so far.