• Hail Guest!
    We're looking for Community Content Contribuitors to Stratics. If you would like to write articles, fan fiction, do guild or shard event recaps, it's simple. Find out how in this thread: Community Contributions
  • Greetings Guest, Having Login Issues? Check this thread!
  • Hail Guest!,
    Please take a moment to read this post reminding you all of the importance of Account Security.
  • Hail Guest!
    Please read the new announcement concerning the upcoming addition to Stratics. You can find the announcement Here!

(RP) Provisioner Mystery

Roberto

Visitor
Stratics Veteran
I was in Britain glorious capitol of Britania. Seat of power, and full of the flotsam and jetsam of life. At least Britain had sewers. The smells didn't have to compete as much with night soil. I was at my third establishment and the back and forth were the same much to my chagrin.

"Pardon me proprieter do you have any roast pigs for sale?"
"No Pig" curtly and without a bargain to be had in the tone of his voice.
"Will you have any soon?" I inquired politely.
"No! No Pig" if he'd been any more curt I'd have thought I was talking to a bloody orc.

This was getting to be a problem so I changed tactics.
"What else do you have?"
"Errs a wot I got chicken" Chicken I thought. I immediatly thought of a Raptor gnawing on my shield. Dragon fire, and the smell of burnt raptor ala Dragon. I visibly shuddered.
"No Thanks, anything else? Perhaps cheeses?"
"No Cheese" I certainly noticed especially about the eyes and ears an orcish lineage in the frustrating fellow.
"Do you have anything else?"
"Lamb" and he pointed with his clever at several skinned legs. I went closer looked and smelled. Mutton, I hate mutton.

I went through all the provisioners and even the inn keepers of Britain. the results always the same. I then took my way to the bank. I walked in to see the exchequer. I saw Dagda in the bank talking to one of bankers. I waved. Dagda gave the banker a quick handshake one pump up and down. A lot of people didn't care for her Drow heritage and it did make her uncomfortable when she could tell their animosity.

Dagda stands at five feet even. Skin dark. Hair pointy as her ears. A thick robe that covered her to her neck. And a bow as tall as her strapped to her back.

"Hello Roberto what are you doing?"
"What am I doing, looking for provisions for a dinner unsuccessfully I might add. What are you doing so far from trinsic?"
"Oh I just had some business to conduct. Successfully I might add" She smiled brightly. Her white teeth against her dark skin. That smile. I usually saw that smile when she was kicking my shins or preparing some other mischef.
"Well... good for you I guess" I was still rather worried about that smile and looked around carfully looking for traps and other pracical jokes I was likely about to suffer from.
Dagda looked at the clock on the wall. "Oops got to run".
She can tell time I asked myself. I didn't even know she cared about time.
I paid several outstanding bills including one for 50,000 ducats for one soul forge. Oh my god! Hammer is going to break the bank account.

I then went to Trinsic, Yew, Skara Brea, Moonglow, always with similar results in my quest for a damn single roast pig.

I gave up in Moonglow and bought other items from the provisioner to have them delivered to home in Dragon Stone. I popped into Ter Mur through the moongate just to double check. At least the response from the provisioner was different.
"I'm sorry Roberto but I have no roast pigs. A young lady came in earlier and bought all seven and every wedge of cheese in the place"
"A young lady?"
"Yes she had a pack horse or rather a string of pack horses all loaded down with roasted pigs and wheels of cheese"
"Thank you anyway".

'Huh' I thought how bizzar. I headed out of town towards Dragon Stone. as I came to the turn just before the southern bridge that would take me past Daenyra's to my house I heard laughter coming from the west. Ah the tavern. it had been a long and frustrating day. A drink might be just what I need.

I came around the front and was greeted by the sight of six pack mules in a string near the front door. Coincidence? it must be for these beasts of burdens carried nothing from my point of view. I heard more laughter from inside as I walked into the tavern.

I saw Devlin doing one of his fascinating card tricks. Sio was watching it intently.

Pie was in the corner his chair tilted back on two legs. He was playing a tune badly. It was then I noticed he was asleep and still playing... oh well at least he wasn't dead.

Mia was there doing what ever Mia does. Strange girl. I did a double take... nope that was Mia... wierd.

And then there was Niamh and Dagda. Cheesy teethy grins both. Some private joke they were both about to burst.

As if on queue in walked Daenyra.
"Hello everyone: she said "Devlin you look splendid" she said. Devlin looked back and his cards fell into a pile. Her head kept turning and comments and minor greetings to each as her head swung around the room. Ah and then like two cannons on an Ork pirate ship she settled on me.

"Roberto how are things shaping up for the picnic?"

"Ah... Uhm, well I was looking for roast pigs and I cant find any anywhere"
"You can't? well what's going on do you even know where to look?"
Niamh and Dagda burst out laughing. Then Sio, and Devlin, and even Pie who had been asleep or so I thought. and as I turned and was catching on... Daenyra joined in too.

A loud crash and roast pigs and wheels of cheese fell out of the large pantry. Several cheeses rolled right out the door. And the laughter redoubled.

"How did you even know? Any of you?"

Dagda bent down and pet a black cat that had not been there even one moment before. Not just any cat, my cat.
"I told you she's not stupid" Said Dagda "Are you kitty?"
"No" said the cat and faded away until all that was left was a smile and the very last hair on her tail.

They had caught me fully flat footed.

Still all laughing Dagda wagged a finger at me. "Think twice before you push me in the moat again"

Doh! - Roberto
 
Top