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In the old days...they called them penpals.
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Good point.
I have a "friend" whom I've not yet met face-to-face but have known since 1965 when we both were in h.s. We started out just writing inexpensive aerogrammes, and then letters onto which we made special trips to postoffice to find the most current and prettiest of stamps to affix to the envelopes.
Then we swapped postcards of our home cities and vacations. And lots and lots of photos. And small gifts. She even mailed me an unhulled coconut, wrapped in cloth, upon which she wrote my address and affixed stamps. Laughed so hard, as did everyone who saw it. I kept it for 20some years before it was time to toss it out.
Then our first phonecall was in the 70s which was not very succesful (due to Indian lines) and cost a lot. So we tried a few verbal letters on cassette (cheaper than making phonecalls). Years later (and better Indian technology) her job allowed her to make inexpensive phonecalls to me. But it wasn't until around 1999 when the company she works for installed a computerized system, and then 2001 when they included internet connectivity, that she and I could email -- which is sooooo much more convenient, no more totally lost letters/cards or ripped-to-shreds by customs, and no more postage costs. However I miss her lovely handwriting and the stamps and postcards.
She lives in Pune (also Mumbai), India. She is of the Parsee affiliation, originally from Iran, but many many generations living in India. She has only one son, as do I. Even though we don't have a lot in common as far as hobbies, we get along extremely well. I would say she knows me better than most my family and rl friends, and she has said same about me.
I almost met her cousin (whom I also wrote to for years) when he/family did a tour of the U.S. But, difficulties prevented a meeting.
I realize there is always a chance that the person on the other end of this relationship could be impersonating an Indian woman of my age, etc. Though that chance is so very slight. Unlike what I've encountered over the years online (in and out of games).
Nevertheless I can and have made friends online without ever meeting. They may never go into anything rl, they may even be impersonating. But as long as they treat me well and we have a good time together, I consider them friends -- albeit "online" friends. It's a level that doesn't go any higher until meeting them irl. There are different levels of friendship. Just as there are all kinds of and levels of love.
For many people, getting to know someone online is a lot more profound than in person, as far as being able to look deep into one's soul without anything blocking the path, a path that is often blocked irl due to one prejudice or another, or shyness, or putting more expectations on appearance than on the pure essence of a person.
I would enjoy meeting my Indian friend irl before we depart this earth; however if we never do, it won't change a thing. We will continue to be friends to the end, as much for her wanting me here, as me wanting her here.
She isn't the only "pen pal" I've had in my life. It was a hobby of mine. (I came from a very large family of letter-writing aunts, uncles, cousins.) But she is the one with whom I have most bonded. We've gotten each other through some horrific times in our lives... when no one else could comprehend or even cared to try... we knew we'd always have each other's shoulder on which to cry.
Also, for people like me with illnesses (I suffered a type of stroke back in my late 30s), communication is easier and sometimes more comfortable online and typing, than in person and speaking (though I still screw up in either direction. lol). I admit, however, it does seem that without being able to physically observe the person's body language, eye contact, and hear the tones of their voice, words sometimes give mixed meanings or don't convey the full content. Though, contrarily, sometimes people's rl actions send mixed messages, too. Which is probably why relationships are at their deepest when you can combine both online (written) and irl, for when one or the other side can't convey precisely what one is thinking and feeling?
*hands out chocolate chip cookies to anyone who read this far*
