Now for something completely different...............

[Jirel of Joiry]

Okay I think we're overdue a good LAUGH around here. So without further adieu here is "Shaving Cream" the UO version...(My apologies to Benny Bell and Dr. Demento)


I have a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night I logged into my Castle
And lagged some decor ....

Shhhhhhhhhaving Cream
Be nice and Clean
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen!

I was reading UHall one day
Full of rumors,flames and quips
Instead of being enlightened
All I got was threads full of....

Shhhhhhhhhaving Cream
Be nice and Clean
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen!

My friend is a Rares Collector
He spends billions of gold I'll admit
Last night he paid 500 million for Horse Dung
Now that's alot for pixel....

Shhhhhhhhhaving Cream
Be nice and Clean
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen!

Here we are on Seige Perilous
Where in PVP I thought I was IT
Then I got PKed by a leet-speakin speedhack
He said "Dood U fight like...

Shhhhhhhhhaving Cream
Be nice and Clean
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen!

In UO we hate cheaters
No, we don't like em one bit
If you think cheating and duping is cool
We think you're nothing but....

Shhhhhhhhhaving Cream
Be nice and Clean
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen!

Yesterday I paged a GM
Three hours in queue I did sit
Instead of a live person
All I got was some canned....

Shhhhhhhhhaving Cream
Be nice and Clean
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen!

And Now folks my story has ended
I think it is time I should quit
If any of you feel offended
Stick your head in a bucket of ....

Shhhhhhhhhaving Cream
Be nice and Clean
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen!

PS- Feel free to reply with your own Lyrics and any comments

 

[Jirel of Joiry]

Okay I got one more verse in me...

I love to post in UHall
Though the Mods think I'm a twit
Some people say I am witty
But most say I'm just full of....

Shhhhhhhhhaving Cream
Be nice and Clean
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen!


LMAO

 

[Guest]

As F. Dreams would say...

* Proper space / To him was bunk / They found him inside / Some guy's trunk / Burma-Shave
* Cheer up face / The war is past / The h is out / Of shave / At last / Burma-Shave
* A peach / looks good / with lots of fuzz / but man's no peach / and never was / Burma-Shave
* He tried to cross / As fast train neared / Death didn't draft him / He volunteered / Burma-Shave
* Does your husband / misbehave / grunt and grumble / rant and rave? / shoot the brute some / Burma-Shave
* Don't take a curve / at 60 per / we hate to lose / a customer / Burma-Shave
* Every shaver / now can snore / six more minutes / than before / by using / Burma-Shave
* He played / a sax / had no B.O. / but his whiskers scratched / so she let him go / Burma-Shave
* Henry the Eighth / sure had trouble / short-term wives / long-term stubble / Burma-Shave
* Grandpa's beard / was stiff and coarse / and that's what / caused his / fifth divorce / Burma-Shave
* Missin' / kissin'? / Perhaps your thrush / can't get through / the underbrush — try / Burma-Shave
* A chin / where barbed wire / bristles stand / is bound to be / a no ma'ams land / Burma-Shave
* Within this vale / of toil and sin / your head grows bald / but not your chin / Burma-Shave
* Dinah doesn't / treat him right / but if he'd / shave / dyna-mite! / Burma-Shave
* To change that / shaving job / to joy / you gotta use / the real McCoy / Burma-Shave
* If wifie shuns / your fond embrace / don't shoot the iceman / feel your face / Burma-Shave
* Don't lose / your head / to gain a minute / you need your head / your brains are in it / Burma-Shave
* The bearded Devil / is forced / to dwell / in the only place / where they don't sell / Burma-Shave
* In Cupid's little / bag of trix / here's the one / that clix / with chix / Burma-Shave
* A shave / that's real / no cuts to heal / a soothing / velvet after-feel / Burma-Shave
* Riot at / drug store / calling all cars / 100 customers / 99 jars / Burma-Shave
* The wolf / is shaved / so neat and trim / Red Riding Hood / is chasing him / Burma-Shave
* This cooling shave / will never fail / to stamp / its user / first-class male / Burma-Shave
* The monkey took / one look at Jim / and threw the peanuts / back at him / he needed / Burma-Shave
* Listen birds / these signs cost money / so roost awhile / but don't get funny / Burma-Shave
* If you don't know / whose signs these are / You haven't driven / very far (No final "Burma-Shave" sign)
* Round the corner / lickety split / beautiful car / wasn't it! / Burma Shave
* That big blue tube / is like Louise / it gives a thrill / with every squeeze / Burma-Shave
* If harmony / is what you crave / get a tuba / Burma-Shave
* Said Farmer Brown, / who's bald on top, / "Wish I could / rotate the crop." / Burma-Shave
* I use it too / The bald man said / It keeps my face / Just like my head / Burma-Shave
* Drinking drivers / Don't you know / great bangs / from little / binges grow? / Burma Shave
* Don't pass on a slope / Without a periscope / Burma Shave
* Broken romance / Stated fully / She went wild / When he went wooly / Burma Shave
* Slow down, pa / Sakes alive / Ma missed signs / Four and five / Burma Shave
* Don't stick / Your elbow / Out so far / It might go home / In another car / Burma Shave
* Old McDonald/On the farm/Shaved so hard/He broke his arm/Then he bought/Burma-Shave
* He lit a match/To check gas tank/That's why they call him/Skinless Frank/Burma Shave
* When in School Zones/Take it Slow/Let the little/Shavers grow/Burma Shave
* Angels who guard you / When You Drive / Usually Retire / At Sixty-Five / Burma Shave
* Dim Your Lights / Behind a Car / Let Folks See / How Bright / You Are / Burma Shave

 

[Jirel of Joiry]

Wow! The old burmashave ads!! My mom told me about those! How very cool thank you.

Mine is actual alternate lyrics for a song by Benny Bell and His Orchestra record in 1947. Later to hit the charts in 1975 thanks to good old Dr. Demento!! For you that don't know who Dr. Demento is he is a California deejay that is the undisputed KING of novelty music. He gave Weird Al Yankovic his start! Wish I had some way to put a MP3 up so ya'll could here the original song.

 

[Guest]

Very clever Jirel. It did give me a smile after a long work day. Thanks for sharing