[News] Blah wiv da Warboss!

Guest · May 18, 2006

</td> <td>Me blah wiv da Uruk Warboss /
 Interview with the Orcish Warboss</td> </tr> </table>
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pon hearing of the recent surge of activity by the orcs, a list of questions began to form in my mind.
That they were called the Gouged Eye Tribe of the Shadowclan Orcs was of particular interest to a blind man, so I decided to investigate!

First, I put my questions to the small group of orcs who live in the fort near my home, but they were less than helpful, as is typical of the clan known as Shardeez. So, I asked around, and found where to send a messenger pigeon.

The hapless bird was eaten, apparently, but a flea-ridden vulture landed on my window ledge, with a reply, saying that the orcs would be happy to speak with me! So, I headed towards a fort, to ask directions.

The orcs at the fort near sanctuary were less than happy to see me, but thankfully, the Warboss of the Gouged Eye Tribe sent me a magical gate, and, after plummeting through a hole to the lower levels of his home, I gave him a box of items I had brought as a gift, and began to talk with him.

Here follows the interview, both in the original text, and, for those who have yet to master the intricate tongue of the orc, a translation into humie.
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<table width="100%" border="1" name="tblInterview"> <tr> <td width="40%"> Uruk </td> <td width="20%" valign="top" colspan="2"> Orcish Trivia </td> <td width="40%" size="4"> Human </td> </tr> <tr> <td valign="top"> <div> Mo'gluk: ug der

Blind Otto: ug!

Mo'gluk: lat in da gruntee hut

Blind Otto: me gotz trubuut! In box!

Mo'gluk: guu me nub klomp lat den
Mo'gluk: bubhosh womp

Blind Otto: me fink lat likez tribuut!

Mo'gluk: yub
Mo'gluk: su wut lat want wit gouged eye tribe

Blind Otto: gug!!
Blind Otto: me want blah bout tribe

Mo'gluk: ukee
Mo'gluk: meeb drink and blah
Mo'gluk: *hic*
Mo'gluk: wut lat want tu gruk

Blind Otto: fingz like - how maneez urks is dere, how lat clomp deze dayz, how fingies go fur yooz, is der old urkies heerz, an fing likez dat

Mo'gluk: umm we hab *counts fingers*
Mo'gluk: futh guud uruks
Mo'gluk: dub gruntees
Mo'gluk: hgahk uruks in all
Mo'gluk: *hic*

Blind Otto: dat lotta urks!

Mo'gluk: yub
Mo'gluk: *hic*
Mo'gluk: agh mur wanst tu be gruntees
Mo'gluk: soon da gouged eye tribe be da tribe meeb want it be

Blind Otto: Yub! dat ash rezon me come do innervoow - so uvver urks nows bout be gruntees

Mo'gluk: da gouged eye tribe iz a speshul tribe

Blind Otto: yub?

Mo'gluk: it iz blessed by da bluudgod
Mo'gluk: weeb hab bubhosh mojo

Blind Otto: *looks impressed*
Blind Otto: so - if urk wanna be gruntee in lat tribe, how him do dat?

Mo'gluk: him kan send meeb pigun and den shu up mekkid tu fort

Blind Otto: wiv tastee seasoning?

Mo'gluk: Mo'gluk: har
Mo'gluk: nub meeb eat pigun while stil flappin
Mo'gluk: it beddur dat way

Blind Otto: yub! deerz taste bettuh

Mo'gluk: iv da gruntee haz mojo blud
Mo'gluk: him must show hidee and mojo
Mo'gluk: hidee and sneaki most bubhosh to tribe
Mo'gluk: all uruks must be sneaki
Mo'gluk: nub sneaki nub uruk

Blind Otto: stay nub clomp dat way!

Mo'gluk: yub it kan be guud fer cubbues and gruntees to hide
Mo'gluk: ug der open meeb bank box. ug . dumhead me iz

Blind Otto: urks can open bank?
Blind Otto: dat bubosh. Old urkies nub open bank much

You see: Lars the wandering healer

Mo'gluk: me feel like meeb drank tuu much cidur
Mo'gluk: baj oomies
Mo'gluk: dems all ober dis land
Mo'gluk: oomies nub kum to dis land wit out tribut dem gets klompd

Blind Otto: yub! dat why me bring trubuut!

Mo'gluk: yub lat guud oomie

Blind Otto: urkies clomp HARD!
Blind Otto: *rubs head*

Mo'gluk: but lat blah tuu much fer meeb

Blind Otto: *smiles*
Blind Otto: den me let lat blah and me shut up

Mo'gluk: da gouged eye iz tribe seekin da great one
Mo'gluk: himz da uruk dat will lead uz tu bubhosh klomp's
Mo'gluk: lots of oomies need be klomp'd till him kum and lead us
Mo'gluk: lat see ani gruntees ?

Blind Otto: Yub! dem trainingz?

Mo'gluk: yub but nub ani gruntees on now . dems all sleepie
Mo'gluk: lat want see all of da gruntee hut

Blind Otto: hokay!
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Mo'gluk: dis gruntee buutkamp place
Mo'gluk: dis colors ov da gouged eye
Mo'gluk: green fer da true uruks, black fer da mojo blud
Mo'gluk: dis box is fer tribute

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Mo'gluk: dis will be tribut room, where da shinies and bubhosh stuff gu . it messi now - gruntees iz lazy
Mo'gluk: meeb need tu get dem wurk harder

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Mo'gluk: da tribe has small hut tu watch da oomies

 
Vas Rel Por - Gate Travel
 

Mo'gluk: dis iz gu'jeks hut
Mo'gluk: dis wher uruks watch oomies and gruk iv dem raid da furt
Mo'gluk: we see dem here first
Mo'gluk: uruks hab otherplace too
Mo'gluk: but it in cold place near lats home
Mo'gluk: but lat see dat laterz when we kum get tribut

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Vas Rel Por - Gate Travel

 

Mo'gluk: lat muz blah oomies tu nub run when we blah wit dem
Blind Otto: yub!!

Blind Otto: how manee dayz did lat sayz gruntees is gruntees fore beings real urk?

Mo'gluk: umm
Mo'gluk: nub sure
Mo'gluk: it depends

Blind Otto: is wen dey reddee, nub nummer a dayz?
Blind Otto: lat bubhosh. Dat way lat get BUBHOSH uruks!

Mo'gluk: sum gruntees kan be uruks qwik
Mo'gluk: nub be burnt tu be uruk
Mo'gluk: meeb nub wuz burnt when meeb wuz made warboss
Mo'gluk: but uruks need hidee
Mo'gluk: and uruks shud kum here
Mo'gluk: here iz beddur trainin place den da furt
Mo'gluk: oomies at furt nub nice to uruks
Mo'gluk: su gruntees kum here

Blind Otto: nub nice ta oomies half time eevuh

Mo'gluk: and meeb and gu'jek and tu'grrt
Mo'gluk: we kae sure da gruntee gruks da uruk way
Mo'gluk: when him gruk him be grunt 

 Mo'gluk: dis tribe will be nub da same as old clan
Mo'gluk: close to , but wit all da mojo we hab
Mo'gluk: da tribe will luuk veri different
Mo'gluk: sum tings neber change, but da uruks hab let da oomies agh da panzees get tuu bubhosh fer demselves
Mo'gluk: so now da uruks will have tu show da oomies agh da panzees who;s da real bubhosh!! </td> <td valign="top" align="middle" colspan="2"> <table height="100%" width="100%" align="center" border="0"> <tr> <td align="middle">

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Orcs do have their own language.
However, not all words are 'formalized'. When in doubt of how to say a word, try to misspel it, but still keep it close. Basically, orcs tend to speak like five year olds with stuffy noses. 

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The orcish language in Ultima began on Siege Perilous and Catskills, and was devised by the Shadowclan orcs, with some words or concepts borrowed from Tolkien. It has gradually grown over time, and continues to do so.
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</td> </tr> <tr> <td>There are several good resources to help anyone wanting to learn to speak orcish.

"<a target="_blank" href=http://everything2.com/index.pl?node=How%20to%20Speak%20in%20Orc>How to speak in Orc part one</a>"
"<a target="_blank" href=http://everything2.com/index.pl?node=How%20to%20Speak%20in%20Orc%20%3A%20Advanced>How to speak in Orc part two</a>"
"<a target="_blank" href=http://www.shadowclan.org/catskills/language.htm>Our language - Shadowclan</a>"
"<a target="_blank" href=http://www.orcs.ca/orcsmain/resourcelang1.html>Orc Languages - Orcs</a>"
"<a target="_blank" href=http://uo.stratics.com/secrets/books/book_17.shtml>A Grammar of Orcish</a>"
(though the last one isn't terribly applicable to Siege's orcs)

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</td> </tr> <tr> <td>
Orcs fervently seek one thing - tribute for their Wargod.

If an orc approaches you, one of the first things he will normally say is "Tribuut fur Wurgoth!"

If you attempt to flee at this point, it will be taken as meaning that you don't care about his precious Wargod, which is deeply insulting to an orc.

Therefore, attempts to flee will generally result in an attack, unless you're really good at running.

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</td> </tr> <tr> <td>
Orcs are traditionally fond of several types of tribute.

These include cookies, honey, ale, cider, gold, and good weapons, though they have been known to settle for other items, such as reagents and bandages as well.
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<a target="_blank" href=http://uo.stratics.com/newspics/siege/interviews_orcs_may_06_pic_07.jpg></a></td> </tr> <tr> <td>
The traditional appearance of an orc is greenish/grey skin and bald head.

The traditional battle-garb consists of thigh boots and ringmail, though this appears to be evolving, as Mo'gluk was wearing leather. However, this may be an indication of his rank... it is usually not wise to comment on an orc's fashion sense!

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</td> </tr> <tr> <td>NPC Orcs, or 'shardeez' are considered to be a less inteligent distant cousin to the Siege orc clans, and are generally looked down on by 'true orcs'.
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</td> </tr> <tr> <td>Orc masks will generally explode if you attack a 'shardee' while wearing one, so if you want to join the orcs, and arrive at the fort wearing one, don't be tempted to kill some while you wait.
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</td> </tr> <tr> <td>A few common Orcish words:

Hello: Ug
Goodbye: Gug'ye
Log off/sleep: Sleeb
Me/I: Me (orcs do not say "I")
You: Lat
Yes: Yub
No: Nub
Thank you: Rulg
Understand/Know: Gruk
Speak/Talk: Blah
Good: Bubhosh
Bad: Nubhosh
Orc: Uruk
Human: Humie/Oomie
Give counts/Turn red: Burn
(Laughter): Har
(Exclamation of joy): Hoowah
(Profanity): Skah
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<table height="140" width="209" align="center" border="0"> <tr> <td>All Trivia open to interpretation, changes, and correction, much like the orcs themselves!</td> </tr> </table> </td> <td valign="top"> <div> Mo'gluk: Hello there

Blind Otto: Hail!

Mo'gluk: You're in the gruntee's hut.

Blind Otto: I brought a gift! In a box!

Mo'gluk: Good, I won't need to hit you then.
Mo'gluk: Good club!

Blind Otto: I think you like the gift?

Mo'gluk: yes
Mo'gluk: So, what do you want with the Gouged Eye Tribe?

Blind Otto: Good!
Blind Otto: I want to talk about the tribe

Mo'gluk: Ok
Mo'gluk: I'll drink and talk
Mo'gluk: *hic*
Mo'gluk: What do you want to know?

Blind Otto: Things like - how many orcs are there, how you fight these days, how things are going for you, are there any of the old orcs here, and things like that.

Mo'gluk: umm, we have... *counts fingers*
Mo'gluk: Four good orcs
 Mo'gluk: Two young orcs
Mo'gluk: Eight orcs in all
Mo'gluk: *hic*

Blind Otto: That's a lot of orcs!

Mo'gluk: yes
Mo'gluk: *hic*
Mo'gluk: and more want to become initiates Mo'gluk: soon the gouged eye tribe will be the tribe it's meant to be

Blind Otto: Yes! That's one reason I came to ask for an interview - so other orcs know how to join your tribe.

Mo'gluk: The Gouged Eye Tribe is a special tribe.

Blind Otto: Yes?

Mo'gluk: It is blessed by the blood god
Mo'gluk: We have good magic

Blind Otto: *looks impressed*
Blind Otto: so - if an orc wants to become an initiate in your tribe, how would he do that?

Mo'gluk: he can send me a pigeon and then show up naked in the fort.

Blind Otto: with tasty seasoning?

Mo'gluk: *laughs*
Mo'gluk: no, I eat pigeons while they're still flapping
Mo'gluk: it tastes better that way.

Blind Otto: Yes! Still, deer tastes better...

Mo'gluk: if the initiate knows magic,
 Mo'gluk: he must demonstrate hiding and magic.
Mo'gluk: hiding and stealth are very important to the tribe.
Mo'gluk: all orcs need to be sneaky

Blind Otto: You do get hit less that way.

Mo'gluk: yes, it can be good for children and young orcs to hide.
Mo'gluk: Hey there, open my bank box...oops, that was stupid

Blind Otto: Your tribe can use the banks?
Blind Otto: That's good. The old orcs didn't use the banks

You see: Lars the wandering healer

Mo'gluk: I feel like I drank too much cider.
Mo'gluk: bad humans
Mo'gluk: they're all over this land
Mo'gluk: If humans come to this area without tribute, they will be attacked

Blind Otto: Aye! That's why I brought you a gift!

Mo'gluk: yes, you're a good human!

Blind Otto: Orcs can hit HARD!
Blind Otto: *rubs head*

Mo'gluk: but you talk too much!

Blind Otto: *smiles*
Blind Otto: Then I'll let you talk, and I'll shut up!

Mo'gluk: The Gouged Eye Tribe is seeking the Great One.
Mo'gluk: he is the orc that will lead us to great battles.
Mo'gluk: lots of humans need to be attacked until he comes and leads us.
Mo'gluk: Have you seen any trainees?

Blind Otto: Yes! Are they training?

Mo'gluk: Yes, but there aren't any around right now. They're all sleeping.
Mo'gluk: Do you want to see the rest of the training hut?

Blind Otto: Ok.

Mo'gluk: This is trainee boot camp.
Mo'gluk: These are the colors of the Gouged Eye
Mo'gluk: green for the true orcs, black for the mages.
Mo'gluk: This box is for offerings.

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Mo'gluk: This will be the tribute room, where the treasures and good stuff goes. It's messy now - the trainees are lazy
Mo'gluk: I need to get them to work harder

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Mo'gluk: The tribe has a small hut to watch the humans

At this point he opened another magical doorway, and took me to a small hut, coincidentally enough, right next door to the shop my good scribe operates. 

Mo'gluk: This is gu'jeks home
Mo'gluk: This is where we watch the humans from, and know if they're going to raid the fort.
Mo'gluk: We see them from here first.
Mo'gluk: We orcs have another place, but it's in the cold place near your home.
Mo'gluk: But you'll see that later, when we come to demand tribute!

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He opened another magical gateway, and we were back at the training hut.
 

Mo'gluk: Please tell the humans not to run when we talk to them.
Blind Otto: I will.

 Blind Otto: how long did you say trainees stay trainees before becoming a full orc?

Mo'gluk: umm
Mo'gluk: nub sure
Mo'gluk: it depends

Blind Otto: is it when they're ready, rather than a time period?
Blind Otto: That's good. You get GOOD orcs that way!

Mo'gluk: sum gruntees kan be uruks qwik
Mo'gluk: You don't have to be red to become an orc.
Mo'gluk: I wasn't red when I was made warboss
Mo'gluk: but orcs need hiding.
 Mo'gluk: and orcs should come here.
Mo'gluk: This is a better training spot than the fort.
Mo'gluk: Humans at the fort aren't nice to orcs,
Mo'gluk: so trainees come here

Blind Otto: The humans aren't nice to humans half the time, either!


Mo'gluk: and me and gu'jek and tu'grrt
Mo'gluk: we can be sure the trainee learns the orcish way
Mo'gluk: when him teach him

 Mo'gluk: This tribe won't be the same as the old clan.
Mo'gluk: similar, but with all the magery we have,
Mo'gluk: the tribe will look very different.
Mo'gluk: Some things never change, but the orcs have let the humans and the elves get too big for their boots.
Mo'gluk: So now the orcs will have to show the humans and the elves who's the real boss!
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Many thanks to Mo'gluk for the interview, and for not clomping me!

Mo'gluk's pigeon number is 232-788-146 should any aspiring gruntees be reading this!

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Guest · May 18, 2006

Excellent interview Otto and Mo'gluk!
My orcish is rather limited so I am very glad that you had a translation of the story as well.

Gu'jek · May 18, 2006

Har Har dat be meb warboss har har

Mandolin · May 18, 2006

Wow! Great interview Otto.. its so exciting to see the Orcs return again! *applauds*

imported_mo'gluk · May 18, 2006

har dat bubhosh blah!!!

nub lat oomie and panzee pushdugs kan blah liikh Mo'gluk agh ani lat gruntees out der lat kum to furt NOW!!!!!!!!

Guest · May 18, 2006

Very nice, Otto. This is one of your best pieces to date, in my humble opinion. Thank you for taking time for this informative interview.

TarotDTA · May 19, 2006

Wonderful!
This was excellently and ingenously put together

Guest · May 19, 2006

*smiles* Thank you, all!

Draxous · May 19, 2006

wow

great job otto.

Guest · May 23, 2006

Thanks again! Glad everyone enjoyed it!

And, fank yub to da urks fur dere warm urkee hospitalitee last nite, wen KSS, CWS and TSR visited!

*bandages top of head*

Me apologise fur da hoomie who went sleepies in da hut, and fur da panzee who was riding the fuud inside hut. Fuud went outsides, but we try keep hoomie awake next time!

Hoowah!

Kemo/Dras · May 23, 2006

Aye that was good fun at that ork fort!!! You guys Orcs rock. Good reporting otto!

-Kemo "Ohhh I think Darwin has something to say."

-Darwin "Elves will slay all the Hummies and the Orclings! Tis the Humans that are to big for their britch's!"

Guest · May 23, 2006

Excellent interview Sir.

Guest · May 23, 2006

Aye was a good time! Leave it to Kush to take a nap in the orc fort... and on a horse... they were none too happy about it! I kept em talking as long as I could, but it was close, good thing ye woke up when ye did

Guest · May 24, 2006

HAR! Dat duh bubhoshezt Warbozz ob dem ull!!! OOWAH Warbozz!! Bubhosh inturveew har

[News] Blah wiv da Warboss!

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