G
Guest
Guest
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had grown curious about the recent goings-on with Inu the crone, and, since Otto's been bugging me to do something about it, I spent a while in Britain, gossiping with the strange folk at the bank. Now, I know from l-o-n-g experience that it is usually easier to get intelligent conversation from a stone than from a bank-sitter, and the peasants at West Britain Bank did not disappoint me.
Thankfully, there was a slightly more intelligent rune beetle lurking there, looking a bit lost, and his name was Kurai Kabuto.
After a LOT of time spent talking to him, and talking to others who had been doing the same, it turned out that his owner had gone, or been dragged, into the sewers, but by who or what, I had no idea.
<table width="100%" align="center" border="0"> <tr> <td valign="top">So, dressing fashionably, as to be easily seen in the dark, I headed towards the sewers!
Sewers aren't my usualy choice of place to visit, but, how bad could they be?
Outside the entrance, I found a messenger, Clement by name.
I asked him if he had seen anything, or had any message for me, but all he wanted was a ride to Skara Brae.
I told him I'd return later, and left him there.
</td> <td width="290"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="210" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td>
</td></tr></table>A strange man, next to a sewer, offering me money? Mother warned me about people like you, buster!
</td></tr></table>I went on my way towards the ladders, and was most surprised at the terrible smell. Surely, with all the taxes WAKA have collected lately, they would be in a better state??? Someone needs to audit the ministry of taxation, I think, or at least the ministry of public conveniences!
After a lot of roaming around, I found two things.
Firstly, that the life I would have expected to find in a sewer does not exist in Britain.
Many sewer rats roam the countryside, but not a one did I see in our sewers in Britain. Perhaps the ministers are doing a good job after all!
Secondly, I found an area with a signpost, and lots of levers. Remembering a tip I'd received, I stood to the right of the sign, and spoke a word that the beetle had given me: Charvory.
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</td></tr></table>River dance? Sewer dance!</td> <td valign="top">I then wished I'd worn green instead of shopping at Castor's Smouldering Silks this week.
I was in a narrow tunnel, full of bubbling green ooze.
I tried to run down it, but found that there was no straight path. I had to zig-zag all along, and thought I would never reach the other end in one piece, as the green fumes made me feel dreadful!
Thankfully, I did make it. Just barely.
Forget diamonds - healing spells are a girl's best friend!
</td></tr></table> <table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td>Hearing rumbling noises from below, I decided to put my etherial unicorn back in my pack, after wiping the poor thing's hooves clean from all the green goo, and started to move quietly and stealthily down the ladder.
A good thing too - it seems that there is a clogged drain somewhere, and all sorts of nasty things have got stuck down there! Once again, a nasty narrow passage, full of twists and turns greeted me, and at one point, the creatures down there decided that a group hug was in order. I will need to bathe for a week after that!
Finally! The end of the tunnel was in sight! After waiting patiently for an acid elemental to get off the ladder, I went up, hoping for a less hair-raising experience. But, did I get one? I did not!</td> <td width="290"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="290" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td>
</td></tr></table>Take your partner by the ooze...
</td></tr></table> <table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="290" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="300">
</td></tr></table>Thaaaat's it boys - pose for Bea! Now...flex!
</td> <td> I wandered straight into Mo'gluk's family reuinon!!! There were orcs of all shape, manner and size everywhere!
I crept past as quietly as possible, but a curious orc mage revealed me, giving me a terrible fright! Fortunately, I managed to convince him that I was just the caterer, and was on my way to get some freshly womped chickens. One quick invisibility spell, while he tried to decide if he prefered his lightly womped or with a heavy batter, and I was on my way towards the next ladder!</td> <td valign="bottom" width="200"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="300">
</td></tr></table> <p align="center"> Ug! Lat wanna see me's etchings?
</p></td></tr></table> <table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td valign="bottom"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
</td></tr></table>Look closely... it's pac-man!
</td> <td>This was a bit quieter. Some crystal elementals and some quagmires were wandering around aimlessly. I couldn't tell why. There was one unusual sight - I'd never seen a broken moongate before! A variety of healing spells did it no good, so I beat off the over-attentive monsters, and looked around a bit more.
I found nothing of any interest in that room, but perhaps someone else will have more luck than I did.
I then found a large, round boulder, which looked as if it was blocking a tunnel, but the opposite was actually true. This was the way out! I squeezed past it, and found myself staring at the orcs again.
</td> <td valign="top" width="230"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
</td></tr></table> Yes, but can I loot it?</td></tr></table> <table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td valign="top" width="290"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
</td></tr></table>*waves to Mo'gluk*</td> <td valign="top">They didn't want me to leave, the poor things.
They don't seem to get many visitors.
But, despite their frantic waving and calling for me to stay, I had to leave, so I headed through the disgusting looking greenish gate, and found myself knee-deep in more green goo. </td> <td valign="top" width="230"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
</td></tr></table> The employee entrance?
</td></tr></table> <table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td valign="top" width="230">
</td></tr></table>So what AM I paying my taxes for??</td> <td valign="top">Shaking the muck from my boots, I went back the way I'd come in, out of the sewers.
Finding Clement the messenger was still lurking about there, I took pity on him and dropped him off at the bank in Skara Brae.
Now, for a very long hot bath, and to go and burn these stench-infested clothes!
</td> <td width="180"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
</td></tr></table> <p align="center">To boldly go where no elf has gone before!</p></td></tr></table></td></tr></table> <table width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
</td></tr></table> <p align="center">
(filling in for the usual guy)
</p></td></tr></table>
Thankfully, there was a slightly more intelligent rune beetle lurking there, looking a bit lost, and his name was Kurai Kabuto.
After a LOT of time spent talking to him, and talking to others who had been doing the same, it turned out that his owner had gone, or been dragged, into the sewers, but by who or what, I had no idea.
<table width="100%" align="center" border="0"> <tr> <td valign="top">So, dressing fashionably, as to be easily seen in the dark, I headed towards the sewers!
Sewers aren't my usualy choice of place to visit, but, how bad could they be?
Outside the entrance, I found a messenger, Clement by name.
I asked him if he had seen anything, or had any message for me, but all he wanted was a ride to Skara Brae.
I told him I'd return later, and left him there.
</td> <td width="290"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="210" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td>
</td></tr></table>I went on my way towards the ladders, and was most surprised at the terrible smell. Surely, with all the taxes WAKA have collected lately, they would be in a better state??? Someone needs to audit the ministry of taxation, I think, or at least the ministry of public conveniences!
After a lot of roaming around, I found two things.
Firstly, that the life I would have expected to find in a sewer does not exist in Britain.
Many sewer rats roam the countryside, but not a one did I see in our sewers in Britain. Perhaps the ministers are doing a good job after all!
Secondly, I found an area with a signpost, and lots of levers. Remembering a tip I'd received, I stood to the right of the sign, and spoke a word that the beetle had given me: Charvory.
<table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td width="210"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="210" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td>
I was in a narrow tunnel, full of bubbling green ooze.
I tried to run down it, but found that there was no straight path. I had to zig-zag all along, and thought I would never reach the other end in one piece, as the green fumes made me feel dreadful!
Thankfully, I did make it. Just barely.
Forget diamonds - healing spells are a girl's best friend!
</td></tr></table> <table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td>Hearing rumbling noises from below, I decided to put my etherial unicorn back in my pack, after wiping the poor thing's hooves clean from all the green goo, and started to move quietly and stealthily down the ladder.
A good thing too - it seems that there is a clogged drain somewhere, and all sorts of nasty things have got stuck down there! Once again, a nasty narrow passage, full of twists and turns greeted me, and at one point, the creatures down there decided that a group hug was in order. I will need to bathe for a week after that!
Finally! The end of the tunnel was in sight! After waiting patiently for an acid elemental to get off the ladder, I went up, hoping for a less hair-raising experience. But, did I get one? I did not!</td> <td width="290"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="290" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td>
</td></tr></table> <table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="290" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="300">
</td> <td> I wandered straight into Mo'gluk's family reuinon!!! There were orcs of all shape, manner and size everywhere!
I crept past as quietly as possible, but a curious orc mage revealed me, giving me a terrible fright! Fortunately, I managed to convince him that I was just the caterer, and was on my way to get some freshly womped chickens. One quick invisibility spell, while he tried to decide if he prefered his lightly womped or with a heavy batter, and I was on my way towards the next ladder!</td> <td valign="bottom" width="200"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="300">
</p></td></tr></table> <table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td valign="bottom"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
</td> <td>This was a bit quieter. Some crystal elementals and some quagmires were wandering around aimlessly. I couldn't tell why. There was one unusual sight - I'd never seen a broken moongate before! A variety of healing spells did it no good, so I beat off the over-attentive monsters, and looked around a bit more.
I found nothing of any interest in that room, but perhaps someone else will have more luck than I did.
I then found a large, round boulder, which looked as if it was blocking a tunnel, but the opposite was actually true. This was the way out! I squeezed past it, and found myself staring at the orcs again.
</td> <td valign="top" width="230"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
They don't seem to get many visitors.
But, despite their frantic waving and calling for me to stay, I had to leave, so I headed through the disgusting looking greenish gate, and found myself knee-deep in more green goo. </td> <td valign="top" width="230"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
</td></tr></table> <table width="100%" border="0"> <tr> <td> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td valign="top" width="230">
Finding Clement the messenger was still lurking about there, I took pity on him and dropped him off at the bank in Skara Brae.
Now, for a very long hot bath, and to go and burn these stench-infested clothes!
</td> <td width="180"> <table bordercolor="#00ff00" width="200" align="center" border="1"> <tr> <td width="230">
(filling in for the usual guy)
