Good afternoon, fellow victim of the ravages of time!
I cannot recommend a decent rocking-chair, as I believe that rocking is a compulsive and self-stimulatory behaviour that contributes greatly to our intellectual decay as we age. Instead, I would recommend a Tokunese futon (they are excellent for the vertebrae); frequent mental and physical exercise, such as chasing the youth nowadays off your lawn; or, barring that, a corpulent and enthusiastic husband (bouncing is almost as relaxing as rocking, and much better for the constitution.)
I would also recommend leaving that nursing home as soon as you possibly can. Sosarian nursing homes are wretched places. My son put me in one on my sixty-fifth birthday as a cruel joke - but the joke was on him, wasn't it? The cleaning bill was enormous, and he had to foot every cent because he'd legally declared me financially incompetent! Hah! Blood is very difficult to scrub out of a carpet, you know. It is their fault for trying to feed me mashed swedes. I cannot abide mashed vegetables; they are fey and unmanly. Back in my day, we lived entirely on uncooked yams and bell pepper, and we liked it.
It is terrible to hear that the guards' disregard for the health and safety of senior citizens is not limited to myself. You ought to write an angry letter to the editorial board of every major newspaper in the country (I believe that amounts to a single newspaper, that, judging by its content, does not have an editor.) Alternately, may I advise you to take up a halberd and rid the town of these pesky miscreants for good? It is about time that we elderly took a stand and started going on rampages; nobody would be able to call us irrelevant then!
(I went on a rampage two years ago. Jolly good fun. A dozen people died and now I am exiled from my homeland. I would suggest committing suicide at the scene of the crime; it adds a certain poetic closure to the incident, without the humiliating after-effects of a life in exile.)
Wishing you all the best,
Lindae
