P
Prince Caspian
Guest
Raphael paced back and forth. He adjusted his cream-colored floppy hat and tugged absentmindedly at his gilded sleeves. Being the Clean Up Officer paid well, but it sure was boring after the first few weeks. A book of scrolls, forms and coupons bulged under his arm.
Boris appeared. Raphael regarded his ragamuffin cousin with the usual contempt and half smile. "Boris. For the last time, empty whiskey bottles do not count towards clean up Brit-"
Boris smiled a snaggletoothed grin, and held up a tattered blue suit, that had clearly seen better days. To call this miserable attire a collection of threadbare rags would be chairtable. "Lookie," Boris hissed through many missing teeth. "Tis Jou'Nar's favorite lounge attire, I found it in Destard!"
Raphael rolled his eyes. "Boris, that is not a garment of Jou'Nars. That is a disgraceful shambles of a suit that even the beggars in Cove wouldn't wear. It is worth NOTHING to Clean Up Britannia. In fact, it is worth NOTHING to the tailor shop around the corner. Even the drunks staggering around the bowery would say... it is worth..."
"NOTHING" the two cousins said simultaneously, Raphael firmly, Boris mockingly. Boris shrugged. "Ok, I found it under the stone bridge, and there was a Gazer corpse wrapped in it. Lotsa flies. Smells funny. But... you know, MAYBE it's like magical..."
Raphael had already tuned his cousin out, and flipped open his book. Raphael grimly shook his head.
"Aw, you have no faith, Raph..."
Raphael slapped the book shut. "Not you. It's this quota. I need to make up for a lot of tickets before checking in with Commander Geoffery at Evensong. I'm short a few thousand."
Boris wiped behind his ears with the sleeve of his newfound beleaguered garment. "Huh? Why? What kinda scam did you have going? I knew you'd fall into the old family business of shady shenanigans, I did!" Boris grinned and clenched his tongue between the teeth of a silly smile.
Raphael pulled at his silk ascot uncomfortably. "Well, Lady Jayla Bowsinger was short to get that dye..."
Boris's smile quickly switched to a visage of awed recognition. "Ohhhh. Lady Jayla. She's the one with the...." his grimy hands described two massive arches over his chest.
Raphael blushed. "Aye. But you should have seen her, saying how she wished she had the remaining 10,000 tickets to get that Shimmering Blue Dye, clasping her hands tightly between that glorious heaving bosom..."
Boris chuckled. "She did that in Luna, too. She uses that trick on every Clean Up Brit Officer around, you fool."
Raphael frowned at this, just as K'runch, Cair Paravel's mighty Gargolye Fisherman, came striding forward, whistling a Ter'Mur tune, his arms bulging with an assortment of holiday busts, obsolete snow globes and other momentos looted out of Caspian's keepsake chests. Raphael tallied up the points and prepared the coupons from his tome. Boris watched all of this, picking at his teeth with a yellowed fingernail. He then noticed that K'runch had a fishing pole.
Raphael, in his most stately manner said, "And with all of this, you may redeem for the following items...."
Boris quickly stepped in between his cousin and the gargoyle, and held up the loathsome suit. "....A FISHERMAN'S ARMOR!"
K'runch's milky white eyes widened. "Do tell. I am a Fisherman!"
Boris's grin creased even wider, and he carefully displayed the rotting clothes. "Why, for a mere 80,000 points, which you have, you can have THIS valuable suit, which will INCREASE your... uh... BAIT EFFECTIVENESS by 15%" As he said this with a winning smile, he elbowed Raphael hard in the ribs. Raphael bit his lower lip and smiled, nodding effusively at K'runch.
K'runch smiled, his jagged teeth gleaming in delight. His wings arched. "How wonderous! And I planned to do some fishing later, this will be perfect. Yes, I wish to redeem my rewards for this magnificent garment."
After the transaction, the Gargoyle flew away as excited as can be. When he was out of earshot, the two cousins burst into choruses upon choruses of derisive laughter.
Raphael slung his arm around Boris' shoulders, and off the two went. They laughed all the way to the Blue Boar. This one would bear repeating over many, many, many tankards of ale to come.
LONG LONG LONG Story Short: My Fisherman Garb has not done me any good. I have YET to catch ANY special fish with bait. WHAT A GYP!
Boris appeared. Raphael regarded his ragamuffin cousin with the usual contempt and half smile. "Boris. For the last time, empty whiskey bottles do not count towards clean up Brit-"
Boris smiled a snaggletoothed grin, and held up a tattered blue suit, that had clearly seen better days. To call this miserable attire a collection of threadbare rags would be chairtable. "Lookie," Boris hissed through many missing teeth. "Tis Jou'Nar's favorite lounge attire, I found it in Destard!"
Raphael rolled his eyes. "Boris, that is not a garment of Jou'Nars. That is a disgraceful shambles of a suit that even the beggars in Cove wouldn't wear. It is worth NOTHING to Clean Up Britannia. In fact, it is worth NOTHING to the tailor shop around the corner. Even the drunks staggering around the bowery would say... it is worth..."
"NOTHING" the two cousins said simultaneously, Raphael firmly, Boris mockingly. Boris shrugged. "Ok, I found it under the stone bridge, and there was a Gazer corpse wrapped in it. Lotsa flies. Smells funny. But... you know, MAYBE it's like magical..."
Raphael had already tuned his cousin out, and flipped open his book. Raphael grimly shook his head.
"Aw, you have no faith, Raph..."
Raphael slapped the book shut. "Not you. It's this quota. I need to make up for a lot of tickets before checking in with Commander Geoffery at Evensong. I'm short a few thousand."
Boris wiped behind his ears with the sleeve of his newfound beleaguered garment. "Huh? Why? What kinda scam did you have going? I knew you'd fall into the old family business of shady shenanigans, I did!" Boris grinned and clenched his tongue between the teeth of a silly smile.
Raphael pulled at his silk ascot uncomfortably. "Well, Lady Jayla Bowsinger was short to get that dye..."
Boris's smile quickly switched to a visage of awed recognition. "Ohhhh. Lady Jayla. She's the one with the...." his grimy hands described two massive arches over his chest.
Raphael blushed. "Aye. But you should have seen her, saying how she wished she had the remaining 10,000 tickets to get that Shimmering Blue Dye, clasping her hands tightly between that glorious heaving bosom..."
Boris chuckled. "She did that in Luna, too. She uses that trick on every Clean Up Brit Officer around, you fool."
Raphael frowned at this, just as K'runch, Cair Paravel's mighty Gargolye Fisherman, came striding forward, whistling a Ter'Mur tune, his arms bulging with an assortment of holiday busts, obsolete snow globes and other momentos looted out of Caspian's keepsake chests. Raphael tallied up the points and prepared the coupons from his tome. Boris watched all of this, picking at his teeth with a yellowed fingernail. He then noticed that K'runch had a fishing pole.
Raphael, in his most stately manner said, "And with all of this, you may redeem for the following items...."
Boris quickly stepped in between his cousin and the gargoyle, and held up the loathsome suit. "....A FISHERMAN'S ARMOR!"
K'runch's milky white eyes widened. "Do tell. I am a Fisherman!"
Boris's grin creased even wider, and he carefully displayed the rotting clothes. "Why, for a mere 80,000 points, which you have, you can have THIS valuable suit, which will INCREASE your... uh... BAIT EFFECTIVENESS by 15%" As he said this with a winning smile, he elbowed Raphael hard in the ribs. Raphael bit his lower lip and smiled, nodding effusively at K'runch.
K'runch smiled, his jagged teeth gleaming in delight. His wings arched. "How wonderous! And I planned to do some fishing later, this will be perfect. Yes, I wish to redeem my rewards for this magnificent garment."
After the transaction, the Gargoyle flew away as excited as can be. When he was out of earshot, the two cousins burst into choruses upon choruses of derisive laughter.
Raphael slung his arm around Boris' shoulders, and off the two went. They laughed all the way to the Blue Boar. This one would bear repeating over many, many, many tankards of ale to come.
LONG LONG LONG Story Short: My Fisherman Garb has not done me any good. I have YET to catch ANY special fish with bait. WHAT A GYP!
