DEV'S PLEASE READ: NERF ALCHEMY!!! PLEASE!!!

[Sam the Scribe]

Dear Devs,

Until now I thought that the limitless power of Alchemy was confined to potions and other stuff but a recent post from some other person makes me think Alchemists can do even more stuff! This is unfair! And a blatant imbalance of game mechanics!

La, alchemists are not overpowered. The only powerful aspect of alchemy (aside from making potions) is the enhance potions properties on talisman's and jewelry which anyone can equip.


This is an ACTUAL POST from some guy who replied to a post somewhere else and it proves that Alchemists are able to do things!

YOU NEED TO NERF ALCHEMISTS NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

You failed to nerf Tamers, now there is Greater Dragon poo everywhere!

You failed to nerf Archers, now chickens and eagles are slaughtered for their feathers! Or, maybe you should have nerfed Fletchers...

You failed to nerf Mods and they delete our posts!

You failed to nerf mages... um... *hides spellbook* Nevermind... they are perfectly balanced... but Carpenters!

Please Devs, make a New Years Resolution to nerf Alchemists. Hasn't their reign of terror gone on long enough! Must we continue to live under the Iron Pestle of the Alchemists!

Safe Travels, Sam

P.S. Is "Devs" your real name?

 

[Nvnter]

Shame on you for picking Alchemists for your sarcasm. Couldn't you have picked Tinkering? Making jewlry is much more game breaking.

 

[Sam the Scribe]

Shame on you for picking Alchemists for your sarcasm. Couldn't you have picked Tinkering? Making jewlry is much more game breaking.

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THOSE ******* TINKERS! THEY RUIN THE GAME FOR EVERYONE!

If I trip over one more box of candelabras at the bank! *mumbles*

Oh, and how DARE you call my post sarcasm!

Um, can someone PM me and tell me what sarcasm is? Thanks.

Safe Travels, Sam

P.S. Is Nvnter your real name?

 

[Cear Dallben Dragon]

Can poison work again please?

 

[Sam the Scribe]

Shame on you for picking Alchemists for your sarcasm. Couldn't you have picked Tinkering? Making jewlry is much more game breaking.

Dear Sir or Madame,

I wish to protest in the strongest terms the nerfing of Tinkering! Us Tinkers shall unite and bring hellfire and damnation to you all if you mess with us!

*whispers from off-stage*

Oh, this was a post about nerfing Alchemists... uh... well... that sounds reasonable. The members of the Tinkers Local 203 have no issue with that.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM TINKERS LOCAL 203!!!

Remember, union made means union quality!

*begins singing*

"Look for that union label, when you are buying that coat, dress or blouse!"

*fade to black*

 

[Lord Kynd]

god forbid this person ever finds out what trackers can do omg

 

[Sam the Scribe]

god forbid this person ever finds out what trackers can do omg

Sir, to the left and right of your keyboard... there are buttons labeled "SHIFT".

God forbid you ever figure out what they do. God forbid... indeed.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the buttons labeled:

"." "," "!" "?"... etc.

*nods gravely*

Safe Travels, Sam

 

[Mistura]

haha... funny thread

So true as well. Those alchemists have been getting away with murder!

 

[Luna du Selene]

haha... funny thread

I agree with Mistura; I'm a fan of Sam the Scribe's humor and sarcasm

 

[Sam the Scribe]

As a lowly peasant fisherman, I am frustrated by living under the Iron Pestle of the Alchemists. Everything I do is controlled by them and do they care for the common man! NO!

I try to feed my family by fishing, but the waters are polluted by the chemical discharge from their potion factories!

What fish I catch have lesions and are unfit to eat, so I am forced to sell them in Luna! I use the gold to buy ribs, bread, cheese and cooked birds to feed my family. I barely have enough left to purchase a few bottles of wine and cider, clothing, armor and fishing poles! Is this any way for a man to live!

I am a simple man... a fisherman... some would even call me a peasant, but I deserve to live in a free society!

It is time for us to unite against the true evil of these lands! Not Mondain, nor the Vangard Controllers! WE MUST UNITE AGAINST THE ALCHEMISTS!

THE PEASANT UPRISING HAS BEGUN!

 

[Saunders]

Stealth alchemists are killing the game!

 

[Surgeries]

Sir, to the left and right of your keyboard... there are buttons labeled "SHIFT".

God forbid you ever figure out what they do. God forbid... indeed.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the buttons labeled:

"." "," "!" "?"... etc.

*nods gravely*

Safe Travels, Sam

I like to stay out of these types of threads, because of the pure and unabashed emotions that they produce, but I feel a need...nay...a duty...to jump in here, and give my .02 worth, right now.

I hate to say this...but Sam is right. He is right about alchemists.

You know it. I know it. The Mods know it.

They are a heinous and over powered lot, with nothing but their own liquid dynasties on their minds.

I shudder to think what dark teachings the Shadow Lords may hold for our alchemical academics, but I can assure you, there is NO need, at all, to do anything but NERF THEM!!

I say...UP with Brewers, and Alcohol...DOWN with Alchemists and their evil brews!!

Make the Right Choice Devs!! Or I know, like 18 people that will for sure quit. No lie. They will be so gone...

So...go ahead and flame me, if you feel the need. Go ahead.

But Sam is right, and just trying to save this game, which will surely die, if something isn't done.

If a Dev could PLEASE respond, even though it's Saturday night, I know I would sure appreciate it.:bowdown:

Draconi? Joanne?

Anyone?

 

[Sam the Scribe]

Stealth alchemists are killing the game!

Aye! At least some steps have been taken against Sammy-Alchemists... but I say... too little and too late!

We should round up the Alchemists and feed them to the Lord of the Abyss! No, wait... that is too good a fate... we should feed them to the Lord of the Abyss's Mother-in-Law!

I think she's in town through the weekend!

*posted by anonymous*

 

[Uvtha]

Invariably a post like this will show up, and while I know its all in fun, I just wonder what is trying to be said.

The whole "anti-nerf" sentiment is something I never understood. It just implys that any and all changes/additions made to the game are perfect. That the devs can't ever make a mistake or a miscalculation is game design. Somtimes mistakes are made, and need to be rectified. I don't get why some people just can't understand that the designers are human, and that is is wiser to deal with the pain of a small change righting one mistake than bringing the whole rest of the game up to part WITH that mistake.

 

[Sam the Scribe]

...Make the Right Choice Devs!! Or I know, like 18 people that will for sure quit. No lie. They will be so gone...

....If a Dev could PLEASE respond, even though it's Saturday night, I know I would sure appreciate it.:bowdown:

Draconi? Joanne?

Anyone?

Actually I think the 18 people who vowed to quit... already have but luckily for us they still post their opinions of the game here on Stratics!

As for Devs! Forshame... this post has been up for at least 10 minutes... and a Saturday night to boot! NO RESPONSE!

I even typed "DEVS PLEASE READ" in all caps!

If I'm playing UO on a Saturday night... shouldn't the Dev's!

*mutters* I bet the Dev's are all Alchemists!

 

[Sam the Scribe]

Invariably a post like this will show up, and while I know its all in fun, I just wonder what is trying to be said.

The whole "anti-nerf" sentiment is something I never understood...

It never fails... folks are having fun then some chick with a rat-head shows up and get's all serious!

*passes the cheese*

 

[Luna du Selene]

Perhaps some fun is being poked at those who complain (over and over) when THEIR skillset/build/whatever was nerfed, in their obviously humble opinion. That was my take on this thread, anyway.

Invariably a post like this will show up, and while I know its all in fun, I just wonder what is trying to be said.

The whole "anti-nerf" sentiment is something I never understood. It just implys that any and all changes/additions made to the game are perfect. That the devs can't ever make a mistake or a miscalculation is game design. Somtimes mistakes are made, and need to be rectified. I don't get why some people just can't understand that the designers are human, and that is is wiser to deal with the pain of a small change righting one mistake than bringing the whole rest of the game up to part WITH that mistake.

 

[Sam the Scribe]

Hello, my name is Nissa and I'm proud to be an Alchemist! That's right proud!

Some mean things are being said about us, and I feel I need to set the record straight. Alchemists provide a needed service to Sosaria. Whenever a warrior falters in the battlefield, a Greater Heal keeps him alive! When a child is sick, Alchemists provide the Greater Cure potions.

I grew up with your brothers and sisters and I've been a good person my whole life! Alchemy is a difficult skill to master and many choose an easier path.

I hope that reason prevails and that Alchemists are allowed to pursue their profession in peace!

Remember... Deadly Poison doesn't kill people... people kill people!

Thank you for listening.

Lady Nissa
Grandmaster Alchemist

 

[Draxous]

This thread is cute, but we need to think of the poor poor herders pls k tks.

 

[AesSedai]

- Once again, all the pro-alchemy start crawling out of the woodworks. 'Tis a shame but it looks like they won't be rightly nerfed, as they should, for the betterment of the overall game.
Alchemy is bad

---

I swear I will quit if you bust the punk alchemists! Me and the 1,002 fellow alchemists whom I can name!

And thus the nerf was unfortunately denied for,
He who yells 'Foul!' louder is, sadly, heard the most!
Rabble. RABBLE!
Rabble, I say!

 

[kelmo]

Better living through alchemy... *nods*

 

[agpga]

As a member of the Alchemists union we refuse to conform to any conscessions the Devs may impose on us. Since it has been brought to everyones attention on these boards and is just a matter of time before we the alchemists have to shut our doors. We just want everyone to know that we will not give in to any conscession and will shut our doors to spite ourselves.

 

[AesSedai]

- Alchemy in the U.K.!
Rabble.

 

[Redxpanda]

BWAHAHAHA!!

I did a spit-take when i saw the title.

 

[jack flash uk]

Barman!!

i shall require 2 pints of what Sam is drinking please

 

[THP]

Crazy Guy !!! He will be asking to Nerf my Herder next !!!!

 

[Saunders]

Sam's beverage is only suitable for soaking the feet of those well versed in the nefarious arts of alchemy. It is further proof that alchemy is attacking the very roots of fair play in this game, and STEALTH ALCHEMY is the VERY WORST FORM.

It is making pvp a complete joke, and my entire guild is going to quit unless it is sorted out!

Please fix this now before the whole game is made unplayable by the HORDES of SCRIPTING STEALTH NINJA ALCHEMISTS!!!!!one eleven !!!11

 

[daisuke]

What really burns my buscuits is when I get chased down and oooOoOoooooOO'd by one of them item identifiers. If they don't nerf this skill soon I will be cancelling my subscription.

 

[OxAO]

I think we need more:
Alchemists with there Conflagration potions.
Spell weavers with there Wildfire
Mages with there fire fields and fire elementals
Tamers with their fire breathing dragons
Chivalry with their Cleanse by fire
more people with wands with Fire balls

Its cold out! We need more Britannia/Sosaria warming

 

[Splup]

I'm freaking pissed getting instakilled by herders and forensic evaluators all the time. C'mon, those skills only take 100 skillpoints each and are totally overpowered. If nothing is done to nerf these gimb temps I'm gonna close my acc. Devs read.

 

[jack flash uk]

while we are at it, them overpowered FISHERMEN

i am sooo fed with with getting face slapped by a big dead cod, my full 70's suit cannot stop them from one hit killing me, i mean why can't Parrying block a fish slap? ridiculous
PLEASE SORT THIS OUT WITH THE NEXT PATCH

 

[Surgeries]

while we are at it, them overpowered FISHERMEN

i am sooo fed with with getting face slapped by a big dead cod, my full 70's suit cannot stop them from one hit killing me, i mean why can't Parrying block a fish slap? ridiculous
PLEASE SORT THIS OUT WITH THE NEXT PATCH

Jack...it is not Fisherman that can kill you.

It is the Taste ID Fisherpersons! Their little tongues going all the time...both talking AND tasting!!

Plus...if they have scrolled out Taste ID, you are in trouble. Here's why:

Fish Slap = ((70/125+8)-(2-2)+7.88*(10000-1)/12)

So...I wish I had better news for you...but until they get alchemists under control, we will NEVER be able to get our arms around the Taste ID Fisherpeople!! I mean that in a very, very figurative way. Taste ID Fisherpersons that I know do not like being hugged...at all.

Bastages!!!:gun:

 

[Goodoljoe]

Please remove Reptalons from game,they are vastly overpowered wild and are totally out of the scheme when tamed,I can kill a GD with an untrained one in 2 or 3 seconds(that if it doesnt use its special YARRBERZERK ability).Also 4 slots is way too litle for such a magnificent piece of creature,please make it 5 ,or hell,even 6,and add a new skill required to use them,Repalon Herding or something.Thanks.Also fisherman are not overpowered,you are limite to fishing one thing per atempt,alchemists can use explosion potions in ponds and have fried fish all over the place.I have seen alchemists solo Melisande dual weilding 200 pound fried fishes in each hand,and got a crimson cinture too!!
This can not go for long more!unaceptable!

 

[Doubleplay]

With the new changes to champ spawns, this problem is only going to get worse. I received a SOT today with .1 camping. Talk about overpowered, with this unreasonable gain to my camping skill, I will be camping all over Sosaria in no time.

 

[Borric]

It never fails... folks are having fun then some chick with a rat-head shows up and get's all serious!

*passes the cheese*

Thats too funny!

 

[peanutbutter]

actually, i think they should nerf UO. it's WAAAAY too powerful.

just ask my wife.

 

[Kensai Tsunami]

...taken from the pages of the Royal Britannia Gazette

"...and in other news, last night a mysterious shadow was seen passing out of the shop of a local scribe. Sam the Scribe stated to reporters that, startled from slumber by strange sounds out in his shop, he rose to find a horrid smell and upon entry realized all his scrolls and books had been literally COVERED with animal pheromone! The ghastly odor has shut down the entire market area while the residents determine the best way to remove the foul stench.
No suspects have been charged as of yet, but officials are currently holding a lone alchemist who smells suspiciously of urine and upon mention of the odorous offense responds only with maniacal laughter, jabbering something about 'the resistance'.
What will become of us? I say this my fellow Sosarians, we must fight this terror with everything we have lest we all find ourselves covered in urine! Oh woe is me!!

 

[Trevelyan]

i know devs hes my mate

he doesnt like you

 

[Yalp]

I have been wondering why all manner of strange fish and fowl, hooved and clawed creature has been showing up on my steps... a mysteriously cloaked figure was seen 2 days ago, hiding in the shadows of my library... all I could make out were the words Grandmaster Alchemist. I suspect that this visitor is part of the Alchemist rebellion our servants hear whispered in the back alleys of Britannia. Perhaps they are behind this infestation in an effort to make their services more valuable and spare their craft from the nerf knife!

The house of Lord Yalp of Zento will NOT be blackmailed into such demands! We will fight with sword and magic to repeal this infestation and render such treasonious actions their due!

 

[Sam the Scribe]

...officials are currently holding a lone alchemist who smells suspiciously of urine...

Are you sure that was an alchemist? I hear the Dev's all smell like urine.

 

[Surgeries]

Are you sure that was an alchemist? I hear the Dev's all smell like urine.

Eeeeeewwwwww!!!!

Well, maybe they will introduce a new race that can get that smell out, AND get rid of the Alchemist's awful powers!!??

 

[Sam the Scribe]

Eeeeeewwwwww!!!!

Well, maybe they will introduce a new race that can get that smell out, AND get rid of the Alchemist's awful powers!!??

Well I haven't really been following the whole "imbuing" thing... in fact, I try to avoid reading about all these things since EA only changes it anyway... but...

Just from my understanding of an assumption of a guess I made... I think the imbuing skill will allow folks to remove bad smells and stains from armor and clothing. This will be particularly helpful in removing the stains from "battle sweat" that form between the legs of lesser experienced warriors. As you may know, "battle sweat" has a distinct odor very similar to urine.

I think the Gargoyle race will become the equivalent of the "Chinese laundry" washing our clothes and removing unsightly and smelly stains! Personally I'm glad that EA is finally addressing the issue of dirty smelly clothes in Sosaria.

Now... back to those dang overpowered Alchemists!

Fouling my personal items with their vile potions was the last straw! I demand the militia be mobilized and that all Alchemists be rounded up and interned until they give a pledge of loyalty!

If they refuse to sign a petition to the Dev's admitting their skill is overpowered and in need of nerfing... Well, there are always the lava pits of the Chaos Dungeon for any that refuse to recant the evil ways of Alchemy!

Alchemists Recant! Your salvation awaits!

*Sam draws his finger through the air, making the sign of the Pentagram*

NO ONE EXPECTS THE ALCHEMISTS INQUISITION!!!

*********************************************

* A scene from the not too distant future. *
The Glorious Sam, Grand Inquisitioner questions an Alchemist...

Sam: "Admit you're an Alchemist!"

(Confused) Alchemist: "Well aye, it's my trade... why are they tying my arms and legs those levers?"

Sam: "Then you confess to the sin of Alchemy! Do you ask for salvation?"

Alchemist: "Alchemy is no sin! It's a noble profession!"

Sam: "Blasphemy! RACK HIM!"

*A hooded figure yanks on the lever and pulls the arms and legs of the alchemist out of their sockets, making a sickening popping sound. *

Safe Travels, Sam

 

[Jove]

I think its pretty sad that you want the Dev's to nerf something. They nerfed the tamers royaly years ago and finally gave us something better to play with. Why? To try and put us on even ground with you uber players. You got all new armor, weapons, spellbooks etc. and the only thing a tamer could do was heal the crap out of their animal. Nothing new about healing... I love the greater dragons. Finally something that I can play with and feel like I did when I could have 2 dragons. I still don't do as much damage as a fighter. I don't mind working with other skilled characters, its fun and things go alot faster when we all work together. Team work outside of PvP must be such an odd concept.............
I want UO to nerf something. I want them to nerf PVP. Talk about an unfair advantage.... You gave the best rewards to the worst people. You are letting these people control the spawns and all I see is attitude problems. No I don't get PvP. I came to play a video game not show how stupid I can be and get rewarded for it, which is exactly what PvP is to me. So quit crying about something so lame and either ignore the skills you don't like as we do to the PvPers......or learn a new skill!

 

[Viper09]

I think its pretty sad that you want the Dev's to nerf something. They nerfed the tamers royaly years ago and finally gave us something better to play with. Why? To try and put us on even ground with you uber players. You got all new armor, weapons, spellbooks etc. and the only thing a tamer could do was heal the crap out of their animal. Nothing new about healing... I love the greater dragons. Finally something that I can play with and feel like I did when I could have 2 dragons. I still don't do as much damage as a fighter. I don't mind working with other skilled characters, its fun and things go alot faster when we all work together. Team work outside of PvP must be such an odd concept.............
I want UO to nerf something. I want them to nerf PVP. Talk about an unfair advantage.... You gave the best rewards to the worst people. You are letting these people control the spawns and all I see is attitude problems. No I don't get PvP. I came to play a video game not show how stupid I can be and get rewarded for it, which is exactly what PvP is to me. So quit crying about something so lame and either ignore the skills you don't like as we do to the PvPers......or learn a new skill!

While I agree with your post, might do good to mention that this is a sarcastic thread. No one is seriously complaining to Devs to nerf alchemy here

 

[T_Amon_from_work]

You leave Tinkering alone! My goodness ... now you want to cripple the one crafter I have that can't sell a darn thing to NPCs, whose products have damn-all little use except for certain jewelry items and whose main hobby was to decorate the streets of town with heating stands, globes and sextants!

You just leave my worthless Tinker alone!Please?

 

[christy1221]

You leave Tinkering alone! My goodness ... now you want to cripple the one crafter I have that can't sell a darn thing to NPCs, whose products have damn-all little use except for certain jewelry items and whose main hobby was to decorate the streets of town with heating stands, globes and sextants!

You just leave my worthless Tinker alone!Please?

This thread is hilarious

 

[Lord Drakelord]

to funny, bust a gut with the pictures Sam did

 

[Surgeries]

While I agree with your post, might do good to mention that this is a sarcastic thread. No one is seriously complaining to Devs to nerf alchemy here

Um...Viper...I can't believe you told that poster I am being sarcastic!!

Or that Sam is!!

For the love of all that's holy, please don't go telling everyone that stuff...next thing you know, the Devs won't read, or respond...and we will be stuck with these "Holier Than Thou" Alchemists running all over wtfpwning everyone with their shiny bottles.

Did you know? Most alchemists start their "Patients" off by giving them "Free" tastes...yeah free.

Next thing you know, you have people bringing KEGS of the stuff to Champ Spawns...selling it bottle by bottle to people...it's a RACKET!!!

So...you need to stop trying to sway people that we are only kidding here.

Alchemists MUST be nerfed!

It is their DESTINY!!!

 

[Viper09]

Next thing you know, you have people bringing KEGS of the stuff to Champ Spawns...selling it bottle by bottle to people...it's a RACKET!!!

So...you need to stop trying to sway people that we are only kidding here.

Alchemists MUST be nerfed!

It is their DESTINY!!!

Shhhh! You be giving away my Alchemists secret! Selling bottles at champ spawns is my secret income!

 

[Sam the Scribe]

While I agree with your post, might do good to mention that this is a sarcastic thread. No one is seriously complaining to Devs to nerf alchemy here

You sir are wrong! It is my intention to see Alchemists put in their place! Even if it means having their entrails dragged through the Trinsic Swamps by teams of Spitting Llamas!

Repent and be saved!

*traces the sign of the pentagram with a finger*

Safe Travels, Sam