I will quote my mentor, inspiration and personal hero Richard "****" Nixon:
"I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got."
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I will quote my mentor, inspiration and personal hero Richard "****" Nixon:
"I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got."
Cleaned Out
I don't usually steal crap. But when I do, I steal a lot! ^^
Coming back from Despise where our newest prospect managed to steal a scroll mere minutes after being guilded (I have a good feeling about this one) I take the tour through Skara. And it's a good thing I did. Because my awesome tracking skills shows me someone is hiding at the bank. My keen senses soon reveals a really focused mage!
I wonder what ill gotten treasures he might hold. A white Harpsichord deed. Harder to spell to than to steal. *yoink*
When I return to bank my future entertainment (I plan to make some poor prospect compose some hymns to my honor) I notice that Wilson is still standing there. Why not go in for a second look in case I missed something.
Erm, why didn't I look in that chest before?!
Wonder how many I could get before he notices me. Probably quite a few since I have invested in a few thousand invisibility charges just for occasions like this. First lets position our self where we are the least visible...
*yoink* *poof* *yoink* *poof*
Seems to be going good. I'm only visible for at most a second between steals, and it's mostly my name. And why would someone expect Ladra of anything malicious, even with guild tag showing? ^^
I'm so darn quick you can't even see my hands when I liberate Wilson from the heavy burden of carrying all those scrolls around.
Only one more to go. Down to the real trash now, but how would it look if I didn't complete the job? Could never get another employment.
Right after I get the last scroll Wilson starts shuffling stuff around in the very same chest I just had my sticky fingers in. Still he doesn't move... Did he not know the scrolls were there or was they just trash to him and he doesn't care?!
*sad face*
Well then kind sir! If you wanted them to be donated who am I to argue. I thank thee!
*happy face*
I don't usually steal crap. But when I do, I steal a lot! ^^
Coming back from Despise where our newest prospect managed to steal a scroll mere minutes after being guilded (I have a good feeling about this one) I take the tour through Skara. And it's a good thing I did. Because my awesome tracking skills shows me someone is hiding at the bank. My keen senses soon reveals a really focused mage!
I wonder what ill gotten treasures he might hold. A white Harpsichord deed. Harder to spell to than to steal. *yoink*
When I return to bank my future entertainment (I plan to make some poor prospect compose some hymns to my honor) I notice that Wilson is still standing there. Why not go in for a second look in case I missed something.
Erm, why didn't I look in that chest before?!
Wonder how many I could get before he notices me. Probably quite a few since I have invested in a few thousand invisibility charges just for occasions like this. First lets position our self where we are the least visible...
*yoink* *poof* *yoink* *poof*
Seems to be going good. I'm only visible for at most a second between steals, and it's mostly my name. And why would someone expect Ladra of anything malicious, even with guild tag showing? ^^
I'm so darn quick you can't even see my hands when I liberate Wilson from the heavy burden of carrying all those scrolls around.
Only one more to go. Down to the real trash now, but how would it look if I didn't complete the job? Could never get another employment.
Right after I get the last scroll Wilson starts shuffling stuff around in the very same chest I just had my sticky fingers in. Still he doesn't move... Did he not know the scrolls were there or was they just trash to him and he doesn't care?!
*sad face*
Well then kind sir! If you wanted them to be donated who am I to argue. I thank thee!
*happy face*
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Wow, people still fall for that, err i mean poor fellow.Quick fix for boredom... Welcome to Siege, Kodiak! I hope you stick around.
The scapegoat
THE KING! I found him! I still haven't pulled of the royal heist I set out to do so long ago. Maybe today will finally be the day.
Busy in Luna it seems, reminds me of the old days. I wonder what evil schemes they are plotting. Probably planning the latest taxation to hit the working class with. I better stick around!
"Yew gate" the king announces, and we all follow.
I must have stumbled upon something big. They are still worried about being tailed. "Gate to the pens" Edwards says. Meanwhile Lord tic says what we're both thinking, "what pens?"
Here comes another one, Blade Runner thunder in on the scene. I don't think he knows it yet, but he's employed as a scapegoat. And it will be a job well performed.
The location we are about to travel to is so important and well guarded that not even the king have unrestricted access to it. I takes two people working in tandem to bring up the gate.
Look, someone dropped a book!
Perhaps it is full of runes to secret treasures and I can scoop them up right under their noses. Let's have a look.
A quick flick through the book later and disappointment sets in. Not a single rune's named something enthralling. And not only that, the king speaks to me!
What do I do? What do I do!?
"Admit to nothing" the voices in my head agrees upon after a short deliberation. "Ok, I'm not saying a word, NOW WHAT?!"
Maybe I can just let the book slip from my hands. Maybe they'll find it in a patch of grass and assume the wind got hold of it? Anything must be better then letting the king catch me red handed with stolen goods in my pockets.
Before one can even hear the "thud" the book is swooped up again, and Blade Runner takes of running.
They seem to have him pinned down, and boy is he in trouble now. ^^
No evidence on me anymore, fingers pointing in another direction. Time to put the blame on someone else and restore my untarnished reputation.
Smooth work there Blade Runner, and thanks for taking the fall. I owe you one!
THE KING! I found him! I still haven't pulled of the royal heist I set out to do so long ago. Maybe today will finally be the day.
Busy in Luna it seems, reminds me of the old days. I wonder what evil schemes they are plotting. Probably planning the latest taxation to hit the working class with. I better stick around!
"Yew gate" the king announces, and we all follow.
I must have stumbled upon something big. They are still worried about being tailed. "Gate to the pens" Edwards says. Meanwhile Lord tic says what we're both thinking, "what pens?"
Here comes another one, Blade Runner thunder in on the scene. I don't think he knows it yet, but he's employed as a scapegoat. And it will be a job well performed.
The location we are about to travel to is so important and well guarded that not even the king have unrestricted access to it. I takes two people working in tandem to bring up the gate.
Look, someone dropped a book!
Perhaps it is full of runes to secret treasures and I can scoop them up right under their noses. Let's have a look.
A quick flick through the book later and disappointment sets in. Not a single rune's named something enthralling. And not only that, the king speaks to me!
What do I do? What do I do!?
"Admit to nothing" the voices in my head agrees upon after a short deliberation. "Ok, I'm not saying a word, NOW WHAT?!"
Maybe I can just let the book slip from my hands. Maybe they'll find it in a patch of grass and assume the wind got hold of it? Anything must be better then letting the king catch me red handed with stolen goods in my pockets.
Before one can even hear the "thud" the book is swooped up again, and Blade Runner takes of running.
They seem to have him pinned down, and boy is he in trouble now. ^^
No evidence on me anymore, fingers pointing in another direction. Time to put the blame on someone else and restore my untarnished reputation.
Smooth work there Blade Runner, and thanks for taking the fall. I owe you one!
I have not been around much the last few months and am just scanning through this thread for the first time, and I must say........I love it. I miss the days when I was farming a lot and had to always look over my shoulder. And then, with the Abyss, having to deal with thieves. There for awhile I was carrying things for the thieves and PKs to have when they got me. Makes me want to reactivate my thief. *whimsical sigh* I think I go make some "Luka's Booty Liquor".
A license ... to steal
Lately I have noticed people yelling at me. Just for working my craft. It's like they don't recognize the importance of the service I provide. As if it's some shady, under the table kind of thing. Not a legit business.
That is not the case. My "lost and found" operation is crucial to a lot of peoples lives. Take this story for example, keep reading.
We begin in Luna, where I hang out in the shadows. Carefully (somewhat) keeping an eye on the general commotion around me. Entering the scene is Lord tick. He looks a bit roughed up, and perhaps drunk, when he stumbles up the stairs. Exactly the kind of person that would find me invaluable.
I need to make sure he does not carry anything worth losing...
Look at this! I'm confident Lord tick would not want's to find this, mighty fine, hat missing when his ears go numb from the cold wind in Luna.
Preventive action commenced!
Now Tick is free to be as uncareful as he'd like. Your hat is safe with me sir. I'm sure he well have a great night of reckless behavior in front of him!
*Some time passes*
Lord tick returns from his adventures with a big grin on his face. Probably even lost his head a couple of times. And now he wants to claim his hat before hitting the pillow upstairs at the inn.
He seems a bit confused from the heavy drinking he indulged in. Thinking he has to buy the hat, not only pay the safekeeping fee. But not to worry sir, I got you covered!
Hmm... The fee would be a bit higher since I had to take the initiative regarding the insurance.
I get interrupted by a fan, Kattastrophe wanting a photo of us together. And why not. I have to do some public relation stuff.
Another happy customer served! Please tell your friends.
So, as you can see, everything is in order. Still, I could use some endorsement. Maye some kind of official looking paper? A permit of sorts. As luck would have it, that's exactly what I've stubled upon.
I find Goldie Vibrissa in Magincia. And she's carrying this!
It might not be the license I need but at least she got one from somewhere. I could ask her from whom and then request one of my own.
*yoink*
Wait, what?!
Well, ok. I can check it out myself then.
Negative: It's personal
Positive: It's from the king himself! (Not Edward though.)
*Ponders whom of them hold the greater power*
*Grins*
This is perfect! Every town must recognize it and it can't be cancelled until Blackthorn dies. I hope he gets to live a long life...
I'm Goldies new best friend!
Very official looking indeed.
Here we go. The license covers lots of things but sadly not stealing. If you don't count yanking the feathers of some poor bird. Which I think would be a far greater crime than what I do. Poor birdie! :'(
By now I've hatched a new plan. I noticed Goldie was killing birds. But she doesn't have a license for that anymore! What if I could pretend to be the license inspector and collect a fee from her? For hunting without a license...
Back to Magincia!
Mental note: Mixed up genders, bump the fee higher.
*Trying very hard to keep my grin in check*
What? Really?
It can't be true! She had a copy? Foiled again!
Ok, new plan! Time to make some changes to the license I already own.
Haha! Now I have a license to do my thing. Take that haters!
Lately I have noticed people yelling at me. Just for working my craft. It's like they don't recognize the importance of the service I provide. As if it's some shady, under the table kind of thing. Not a legit business.
That is not the case. My "lost and found" operation is crucial to a lot of peoples lives. Take this story for example, keep reading.
We begin in Luna, where I hang out in the shadows. Carefully (somewhat) keeping an eye on the general commotion around me. Entering the scene is Lord tick. He looks a bit roughed up, and perhaps drunk, when he stumbles up the stairs. Exactly the kind of person that would find me invaluable.
I need to make sure he does not carry anything worth losing...
Look at this! I'm confident Lord tick would not want's to find this, mighty fine, hat missing when his ears go numb from the cold wind in Luna.
Preventive action commenced!
Now Tick is free to be as uncareful as he'd like. Your hat is safe with me sir. I'm sure he well have a great night of reckless behavior in front of him!
*Some time passes*
Lord tick returns from his adventures with a big grin on his face. Probably even lost his head a couple of times. And now he wants to claim his hat before hitting the pillow upstairs at the inn.
He seems a bit confused from the heavy drinking he indulged in. Thinking he has to buy the hat, not only pay the safekeeping fee. But not to worry sir, I got you covered!
Hmm... The fee would be a bit higher since I had to take the initiative regarding the insurance.
I get interrupted by a fan, Kattastrophe wanting a photo of us together. And why not. I have to do some public relation stuff.
Another happy customer served! Please tell your friends.
So, as you can see, everything is in order. Still, I could use some endorsement. Maye some kind of official looking paper? A permit of sorts. As luck would have it, that's exactly what I've stubled upon.
I find Goldie Vibrissa in Magincia. And she's carrying this!
It might not be the license I need but at least she got one from somewhere. I could ask her from whom and then request one of my own.
*yoink*
Wait, what?!
Well, ok. I can check it out myself then.
Negative: It's personal
Positive: It's from the king himself! (Not Edward though.)
*Ponders whom of them hold the greater power*
*Grins*
This is perfect! Every town must recognize it and it can't be cancelled until Blackthorn dies. I hope he gets to live a long life...
I'm Goldies new best friend!
Very official looking indeed.
Here we go. The license covers lots of things but sadly not stealing. If you don't count yanking the feathers of some poor bird. Which I think would be a far greater crime than what I do. Poor birdie! :'(
By now I've hatched a new plan. I noticed Goldie was killing birds. But she doesn't have a license for that anymore! What if I could pretend to be the license inspector and collect a fee from her? For hunting without a license...
Back to Magincia!
Mental note: Mixed up genders, bump the fee higher.
*Trying very hard to keep my grin in check*
What? Really?
It can't be true! She had a copy? Foiled again!
Ok, new plan! Time to make some changes to the license I already own.
Haha! Now I have a license to do my thing. Take that haters!
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Stealing without stealing
Several days after the legendary party I finally wake up. In a bush. Right next to someones house. Head still spinning and my mouth taste like something crawled in and died, I try to get my bearings. Where the heck am I?
A sudden noise startles me and I dive behind the bushes. A door opens and someone steps out, glaring up to the sky. This is not the time to be seen, twigs in hair and beer stains on my skirt. But luck is with me. The man strolls away whistling as he go.
By now my stomach is growling at me and I could really use a bath. I wonder if there is a chance that a window could be open nearby? Maybe I can sneak in, grab a bit to eat and freshen up before heading home. Whatever direction that might be.
I wobble around the house in an embarrassing attempt to make a circle. But no windows at all. Now I know why the man seemed so taken by the sky. Probably first time he seen it in god knows how long. After making my way to the front porch I need to rest a bit. Pondering what to do next. So I sit down, resting my back against the doors.
It swings open!
I quickly spot a tub and take a swift bath. Much better!
Now for some food. Sure is a lot of chests here. Must be food in some of them, right? After a quick peek through the doors I try the lid on a few chests. All locked except two of them. No food.
I need bacon, I scream. Banging my head against one of the chests. With a crack the lid slides away...
*gasps*
This is no bacon! But hunger is the last thing on my mind at the moment. And with shaky hands I grab the token, carefully tucking it in to my pocket.
The sound of galloping horses! Hastily I slip out through the door. Just in time, two riders are approaching. Slipping through the shadows I make my way out of there. No sense of direction yet, just away. My stomach still feels like a bottomless pit but at least my pocket's full.
Several days after the legendary party I finally wake up. In a bush. Right next to someones house. Head still spinning and my mouth taste like something crawled in and died, I try to get my bearings. Where the heck am I?
A sudden noise startles me and I dive behind the bushes. A door opens and someone steps out, glaring up to the sky. This is not the time to be seen, twigs in hair and beer stains on my skirt. But luck is with me. The man strolls away whistling as he go.
By now my stomach is growling at me and I could really use a bath. I wonder if there is a chance that a window could be open nearby? Maybe I can sneak in, grab a bit to eat and freshen up before heading home. Whatever direction that might be.
I wobble around the house in an embarrassing attempt to make a circle. But no windows at all. Now I know why the man seemed so taken by the sky. Probably first time he seen it in god knows how long. After making my way to the front porch I need to rest a bit. Pondering what to do next. So I sit down, resting my back against the doors.
It swings open!
I quickly spot a tub and take a swift bath. Much better!
Now for some food. Sure is a lot of chests here. Must be food in some of them, right? After a quick peek through the doors I try the lid on a few chests. All locked except two of them. No food.
I need bacon, I scream. Banging my head against one of the chests. With a crack the lid slides away...
*gasps*
This is no bacon! But hunger is the last thing on my mind at the moment. And with shaky hands I grab the token, carefully tucking it in to my pocket.
The sound of galloping horses! Hastily I slip out through the door. Just in time, two riders are approaching. Slipping through the shadows I make my way out of there. No sense of direction yet, just away. My stomach still feels like a bottomless pit but at least my pocket's full.
I do so look forward to your stories, brightens my day!
* Ponders the silliness of it all* 
* Wonders who would be wealthy enough to have a token - yet careless enough to not properly secure their wares *
But a great story, nevertheless.....................................
* Wonders who would be wealthy enough to have a token - yet careless enough to not properly secure their wares *
But a great story, nevertheless.....................................
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Apparently Strongheart is that wealthy . . .* Ponders the silliness of it all*
* Wonders who would be wealthy enough to have a token - yet careless enough to not properly secure their wares *
But a great story, nevertheless.....................................
For reasons best left untold it's been a long time since I documented any of my wrong doings. That's all very sad, because the adventures have been great and many. Blood, tears and loot have been abundant and the occasional failure as grandiose as ever.
Anyway, I think I have (some of) my problems sorted out and will get back to posting stories shortly. In the mean time, I'll leave you with this gem. No one is safe. ^^
Anyway, I think I have (some of) my problems sorted out and will get back to posting stories shortly. In the mean time, I'll leave you with this gem. No one is safe. ^^
How Ladra stole Christmas
I found a public message posted at several banks throughout the lands.
Very confusing. How could such a feat pass me by? Who is this awesome thief? It's also very disturbing, because it wasn't me... What could he have stolen that warrants a message like that? That has never happened to me... *sulks*
So, decided then and there, I set out on a quest to reinforce my position as the greatest thief. By stealing a whole Christmas of my own AND having the photos to back it up. Take that anonymous competition!
Let's start with Rudolph, no Christmas without a reindeer. And no, he's not dead. Just sleeping. And a bit skinny. He'll recover in no time I'm sure.
Our local reindeer poacher, Diablo,is more than happy reluctantly help me find Rudolph.
Luckily I make it out ok and the first item is crossed of my list.
Time to look for Santa, and then rob him blind. *grins*
I get distracted... Booze?! Yes please! Is it really Christmas if you're not drunk? Probably not.
Notice the message about the guards? That is not supposed to happen. If it does it will probably lead to this.
Entering the scene now is the pesky looter Mansbeth. What happened to being able to lay dead on the floor without being bothered?!
BOOM!
Hahahah, he died! How's that for justice?
But I lost track of the story. We were looking for Santa, right?
I've heard that one of the few people that knows where that bearded ******* lives is a mage named York. Good thing I know where *he* lives. At first it looks like there's nobody home. But a more thorough search reveals the owner hiding just outside...
I assume that he will not give up his friends hideout without some serious nagging from me. The plan is to simply jump him, catch him by surprise, tie him up, drag him back to Barter Town, lock him up in the tower and nag, nag, nag until his ears are bleeding. But luck strikes again! Look what's in his backpack.
I'm at least 100% sure this books contain all the information I need in order to locate Santa's hiding place. So I take it.
Up, up and away!
On my way back through Moonglow I notice a party going on. How's this for a combination of a Christmas tree and a cozy fire?
BOOM!
And while we're at it, let's get a nice dead bear to put in front of the fire. It'll be great to pass out on after drinking that whole distillery.
While in Luna, banking my newly found stuff I manage to get all the decorations I need in one single sweep. Just laying on the ground is this motherload. (Ok, ok, "just laying there" might not be true. Dropped on the floor for a split second before I scooped it up in front of a bewildered crowd is closer to the truth.) Anyway, I love finding stuff on the floor. No risk of being bothered by those guards.
One thing that I think would really stand out as sinister would be if I could steal some poor kids wish list. Sadly (for me) I could not find a kid. So Delores list will have to do.
That is the most depressing list I have ever seen!
Me? I wish for toys.
Lots of toys!
I think my quest is done. I feel like this is a complete Christmas stolen. And there is no need to pay Santa a visit. Got all the toys I want, for now. But you should sleep with one eye open Santa. I still have the book with directions to where you live. And I will, mark my words, pay you a visit some day.
I found a public message posted at several banks throughout the lands.
Very confusing. How could such a feat pass me by? Who is this awesome thief? It's also very disturbing, because it wasn't me... What could he have stolen that warrants a message like that? That has never happened to me... *sulks*
So, decided then and there, I set out on a quest to reinforce my position as the greatest thief. By stealing a whole Christmas of my own AND having the photos to back it up. Take that anonymous competition!
Let's start with Rudolph, no Christmas without a reindeer. And no, he's not dead. Just sleeping. And a bit skinny. He'll recover in no time I'm sure.
Our local reindeer poacher, Diablo,
Luckily I make it out ok and the first item is crossed of my list.
Time to look for Santa, and then rob him blind. *grins*
I get distracted... Booze?! Yes please! Is it really Christmas if you're not drunk? Probably not.
Notice the message about the guards? That is not supposed to happen. If it does it will probably lead to this.
Entering the scene now is the pesky looter Mansbeth. What happened to being able to lay dead on the floor without being bothered?!
BOOM!
Hahahah, he died! How's that for justice?
But I lost track of the story. We were looking for Santa, right?
I've heard that one of the few people that knows where that bearded ******* lives is a mage named York. Good thing I know where *he* lives. At first it looks like there's nobody home. But a more thorough search reveals the owner hiding just outside...
I assume that he will not give up his friends hideout without some serious nagging from me. The plan is to simply jump him, catch him by surprise, tie him up, drag him back to Barter Town, lock him up in the tower and nag, nag, nag until his ears are bleeding. But luck strikes again! Look what's in his backpack.
I'm at least 100% sure this books contain all the information I need in order to locate Santa's hiding place. So I take it.
Up, up and away!
On my way back through Moonglow I notice a party going on. How's this for a combination of a Christmas tree and a cozy fire?
BOOM!
And while we're at it, let's get a nice dead bear to put in front of the fire. It'll be great to pass out on after drinking that whole distillery.
While in Luna, banking my newly found stuff I manage to get all the decorations I need in one single sweep. Just laying on the ground is this motherload. (Ok, ok, "just laying there" might not be true. Dropped on the floor for a split second before I scooped it up in front of a bewildered crowd is closer to the truth.) Anyway, I love finding stuff on the floor. No risk of being bothered by those guards.
One thing that I think would really stand out as sinister would be if I could steal some poor kids wish list. Sadly (for me) I could not find a kid. So Delores list will have to do.
That is the most depressing list I have ever seen!
Me? I wish for toys.
Lots of toys!
I think my quest is done. I feel like this is a complete Christmas stolen. And there is no need to pay Santa a visit. Got all the toys I want, for now. But you should sleep with one eye open Santa. I still have the book with directions to where you live. And I will, mark my words, pay you a visit some day.
Your many acts of altruism have found their way to UHall as we speak...
*eyes Ladra* Girl... You told me you were being good at the party! Tisk tisk
Nuh-uh, it was a christmas wish list!
Nuh-uh - wasn't....
I guess the thieves all know I only carry junk in my pack And only do high value trades in secure houses. Defeating thieves is not that hard if you use a litte common sense. Folks this is not Tram Just keep telling yourself "THere are NO thieves on Siege)
And only do high value trades in secure houses. Defeating thieves is not that hard if you use a litte common sense. Folks this is not Tram Just keep telling yourself "THere are NO thieves on Siege)
Sure.. We all get mad at Ladra.. But you can not stay mad at her!
Only time I have ever seen Ladra was when she followed a customer through a moongate into the private house I do high end trades in. Guess she thought she would score that day Just got bumped out of the house along with the customer who was granted access and obtained his 115 mage scroll with no problems after he was grated access. And was safely gated back to the minoc moogate where I initially gated him in from. So my dastardly deed would have to be depriving Ladra the opportunity to jack a scroll 
Just got bumped out of the house along with the customer who was granted access and obtained his 115 mage scroll with no problems after he was grated access. And was safely gated back to the minoc moogate where I initially gated him in from. So my dastardly deed would have to be depriving Ladra the opportunity to jack a scroll