Conspideracy! A video chronicle the Moonglow government doesn't want you to see!

[Wulf2k]

Despite attempts to stop me by top government officials (apparently culminating in the downing of STRATICS ITSELF), I have obtained actual footage that proves the lie behind this so-called "infection" spreading across Sosaria. This is no mere contagion, this is a co-ordinated effort by swarms of arachnid infiltrators that have already taken over the government of Moonglow, Vesper, and likely others. No infection has been witnessed taking place, only pre-"infected" hosts found wandering around.

The spiders have somehow evolved the ability to shapeshift. They tested their abilities on small creatures before working their way up the food chain and finally into our towns, and possibly beyond! These spiders choose a victim, take their form, and then take their place among society! Nobody seems the wiser despite their inexperience with our customs and skin pigmentation! Guards refuse to attack them even as they slaughter innocents in towns!

The video will be deleted upon nothing less than the complete eradication of the octopedal swarms! YOU CAN'T SILENCE THE TRUTH YOU MULTI-EYED MONSTERS!


0:20 - A polar bear that's immune to poison.
0:24 - A polar bear that is well versed in the art of applying poison....
0:45 - Polar Bear? Or wolf Spider?
1:00 - Note the unnatural way the corpse falls compared to a regular polar bear.
1:07 - What sort of polar bear has spider silk?
1:20 - A bear with no leather? Shenanigans!

1:31 - Puppy? Or SPIDERY AGENT OF DEATH?!
1:50 - Another unexpected creature both immune to, and capable of inflicting, poison.
2:06 - Get it? A puppy? A WOLF spider? The facade is paper thin!
2:12 - The telltale spider silk! Note, it is not canine silk.

2:30 - Confident in their attempts to mimic simple creatures, the spider hordes emulate a man....
2:35 - They lack the understanding of clothing, and believe "llamaherder" to be a valid profession! Not to mention failing to grasp the importance of skin pigmentation!
2:50 - They have sent their top spider agents... No simple Wolf spider, but a dread.
3:00 - The telltale silk of our arachnid assailants...

3:03 - The following is a dramatization of what could actually be happening.

*Disclaimer: Actual level of conspiracy may vary with level of psychosis. Please ensure minimal contact with reality for maximum results.

 

[Hoffs]

*looks shocked*

Still, Moonglow's assistant governor, Peter Parker, assures me this is all nonsense.

 

[Wulf2k]

I think it's most telling that Katt hasn't come out and publicly denied the allegations.

Why is she so silent on the matter when a simple public denial and vivisection would put the matter to rest?

 

[Spiffykeen]

Vivisection? But we haven't been introduced!!!

 

[RueTor]

Continues to remain in house with windows and doors locked... gazes into crystal ball for any additional news...



"...*Disclaimer: Actual level of conspiracy may vary with level of psychosis. Please ensure minimal contact with reality for maximum results..."

hmm.. Wolf Spider invasion update posted by Wulf2k... err.. wait a minute... I think that there may be some deeper connection here... *hears a knock at the door*

 

[Kattasrophe]

You know what Wulf? This really hurts my feelings. I have litterly gone out there and killed a lot over the past few weeks. And here you are calling me a spider queen. Thanks I really appreciate it.

 

[Kattasrophe]

oh and.. Im not hiding anything here..

 

[Wulf2k]

You know what Wulf? This really hurts my feelings. I have litterly gone out there and killed a lot over the past few weeks. And here you are calling me a spider queen. Thanks I really appreciate it.

You're right. I may have judged you unfai....

Forever the Queen of Trouble

Oh.
Emm.
Gee.

I'm not saying what I'm saying, is all I'm saying, I'm just saying what needs saying, y'hear what I'm saying?

 

[Kattasrophe]

You're right. I may have judged you unfai....

Oh.
Emm.
Gee.

I'm not saying what I'm saying, is all I'm saying, I'm just saying what needs saying, y'hear what I'm saying?

My guild is called Nothing But Trouble.. You don't understand the guild story therefore don't go and infer.. or assume

 

[Kattasrophe]

Wait you know what? How about you come and kill me and see if my corpse says anything about A spider on it..

 

[Wulf2k]

I can't help but get the impression that your keen arachnid senses have missed the tone of this thread.

 

[Kattasrophe]

Forget it Wulf.. Just forget it.

 

[Wulf2k]

 

[York_Siege]

"*Disclaimer: Actual level of conspiracy may vary with level of psychosis. Please ensure minimal contact with reality for maximum results."
Close.

"*Disclaimer: Actual level of conspiracy comes with a level of psychosis. Please ensure minimal contact with reality for maximum results."

There we go, all fixed.....

 

[Wulf2k]

Maybe a pinch of psychosis is needed to resist the asspiderimilation process.

 

[Kattasrophe]

Maybe a pinch of psychosis is needed to resist the asspiderimilation process.

Okay First of all.. I have been bittin a million times.. Died.. Screamed my head off from the pain.. and yet still are making fun of me saying Im the spider queen.. Now I know for a fact that you were bit too.. you don't have any sideeffects.. Does that make you a ''Spider''

 

[startle]

....... 2:35 - They lack the understanding of clothing, and believe "llamaherder" to be a valid profession!...

Oh dear, now you've done it....

Not a "valid profession" ? Well, here's that same guy a year from now....

And, not to mention who I ran into on a recent trip in my time machine.............

 

[Wulf2k]

Okay First of all.. I have been bittin a million times.. Died.. Screamed my head off from the pain.. and yet still are making fun of me saying Im the spider queen.. Now I know for a fact that you were bit too.. you don't have any sideeffects.. Does that make you a ''Spider''

I would never dream of making fun of the spider queen. Having your body be host to either one giant spider, or millions of tiny spiders (I'm unclear of the exact mechanics involved) would take a terrible toll, both on the psyche and one's complexion.

Second of all, would it not stand to reason that one who has spent the most time combating the arachnid hordes would be their first target for assimilation? Operating under the belief that it was rabies instead of spider infiltrators would make you a sitting duck! Your quarantine played right into their hands, nobody would expect to see Katt wandering the shard during a quarantine, meanwhile they had time to perfect their Kattskin disguise and issue orders with all the power that your position entails.

It's not the bite that would infect you, the bite would only paralyze you long enough for them to lay eggs in your eyeballs and ears. They have not had unrestricted access to my corpse for a long enough period to have done so.

As you can see, my evidence and trustworthiness are beyond reproach. There may be gaps in the evidence but it's much more cohesive than the plague story.

You must realize, there is no shame in having been assimilated by spiders, if you were not on your guard there is nothing you could have done. But we can not allow ourselves to be blind to the possibility that you are inhabited by a spider queen simply because of misplaced trust that you could retain your faculties while infested.

 

[Wulf2k]

Not a "valid profession" ? Well, here's that same guy a year from now....

He had to sell the lower half of his body and have his foot surgically implanted in the back of his head to try and make it as an aspiring foot model?

And, not to mention who I ran into on a recent trip in my time machine.............

...You have unrestricted access to a time machine, and you use it to travel to the future and hit on women that are currently underage? I don't know what to do with this information.

 

[Kattasrophe]

Okay.. Wulf wanna take that up With Em Troubadour? He can tell you I didn't start this and Im not a flippin Spider!

 

[startle]

He had to sell the lower half of his body and have his foot surgically implanted in the back of his head to try and make it as an aspiring foot model?

Well, Ms PinkPerson - 2 things:

1) That is NOT a foot, that is a family headpiece from the Llamarian Clan.
2) Failing to see what is obvious - happens to be one of the first symptoms of an aracnid bite, from the Kattraneous spider...

Just sayin.......

 

[Wulf2k]

 

[startle]

Arachness Deathacus eh.... Perhaps that's what it was..