B
Bella
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A great article offering advice for those that can't seem to balance their game time with real life. The author's words are true and, if unheeded in your home, can cause family issues. A house is not a home without harmony so the following read may just help those in need of a reality check. Hopefully you don't really need to read it but just in case you do, here it is:
Thank to Mortmain over at GW2 WvW for sharing his life experience with the rest of us.Avoiding and/or Managing Wife Aggro
With every new game – especially the really hyped games – I have a tendency to play … a lot…. too much … but here’s the thing. I’m not a pizza delivery guy (no offense intended, guys, I like pizza too) living in mom’s basement (just playing off the stereotype, not insulting anyone in particular). I’m also not in college. No, I have responsibilities … a wife, kids, a job … and I’d like to keep them. This means that as much as I might like to put in a solid ten-plus hours a day, I can’t. I have to balance my “real” life with my “online” life.
“The wife….and she’s not a gamer”
First, a little background. I’m a gamer. I’ve been PC gaming since the Commodore 64. I’ve also been married to the same woman for twenty years. And she’s not a gamer. Sure, I’ve tried to interest her, but she just doesn’t get into games. Not a lick. Never-the-less, somehow I’ve managed to keep enough balance not to piss her off and drive her away. Oh, sure, I’ve heard a few good ones (e.g., “Are you still playing that damn game?”) but we’re still happily together, gamer and non-gamer. So, all things considered, I think I’ve done a decent job of creating and maintaining some balance.
“Special” Family Time
All that being said, here are my rules in descending order of priority:
Well, that’s about it. If you do it right and learn to find a balance you get the best of both worlds. You get to play your games AND play with your wife. And the best part is, your wife should be pretty darn fun to play with too!
- Know your priorities. Your wife, family and children come first. Don’t forget that. Never forget that. Gaming is great, but ultimately one is more important than the other. No matter how great you think that shiny, new game is, eventually it won’t be that exciting. And in twenty years, when you look back, are you going to be more stoked about getting in some DKP in that 40-man raid or spending some special time with your family?
- Set boundaries. Set them and keep them. Don’t tell the wife that you’ll go out with her and then get called to join a raid or war zone. No, you made a commitment to your wife. Your guildies will just have to deal with it.
- Decide what type of gamer you are. This is the real gut-check. How serious are you? Are you an explorer or a crafter? Do you exclusively pvp, or do you run instances as well? Do you play a single character exclusively or do you roll a bunch of alts? Exactly how serious are you? Do you like to dabble in group PvP, or do you wear a headset all the time? To get balance, you need to decide exactly what you really enjoy about MMOs. Knowing yourself will let you figure out how to best achieve balance.
- Find your gaming time. Looking at the sweep of your personal life and the commitments you have, figure out when you can have uninterrupted game time. Maybe it’s Tuesday and Thursday night. Maybe it’s getting up early Saturday and Sunday morning. Your family members will get a feel for your patterns and not hassle you during your game time. Just remember, outside of that game time your family takes priority.
- Throw her a bone. The funny thing about women is that, well, they are girls. And as I learned from watching The Little Princess with my daughters, every girl is a princess. Every now and again, treat her like one. Take her out to dinner. As much as it might kill you, take her dancing. (They might be laughing at you, but probably aren’t).
- Learn the things to avoid. There are certain things you MUST avoid. Trust me, it’s not worth the pain. Don’t rush home from work every day and immediately hop in game. (Sure, maybe you gave her a playful slap on the ass on the way in, but let’s be realistic, she wants to spend some time telling you about her day). Also, avoid streaks … don’t stay up late for five, six nights running. That’s bad. Very bad. Once in a while is okay, but too many is just not good. You have to learn what not to do – things like saying “just five more minutes” once too often. There’s more, but maybe that’s for another day.
“There’s nothing wrong with a little roleplay…”
Excellent gaming, internet friends.
Mortmain
