P
Pluffina
Guest
OKAY! All the time I see people riding around on these big black horses called Nightmares? You may have seen one yourself, or THOUGHT you were actually taming, riding, buying or owning one. But I am here to tell you that they are figments of your imagination. If someone tries to sell you a so-called "Nightmare" laugh and walk away, for now you know these things are the product of a mass hallucination.
Here is what is really going on. High Level mages in a vast pony conspiracy are getting regular old horses and dipping them in a black dye tub. ALl these mages have GMed stealth. Once they sell you the pony, they follow you around in stealth mode, for MONTHS if necesary, up until the pony dies. When you tell the mare to attack something, they crouch behind a bush flamestriking your target and YOU foolishly think you actualy have a MAGIC HORSE!
How, you might ask, did I figure out this HAD to be going on?
Well, last night a little party of 3 pretty dern decent bards and a GM Tamer went to GET one of these so called "Nightmares." We gated into a swampy place and there found 700 million-trillion-billion ophids and piders whacking the stew out of each other and us. We all started Provving like mad until the little swampy area was FILLED with HUGE HORRIFIC CLOTS of HORRIBLE THINGS snarling and fussing at each other. Then we headed down into some tunnels CHOCK FULL of just snakey-poos, no distracting Spiders to get them off US unless we put them on each other. There were so dern MANY. I mean it was like the Ophidian National Convention and apparently the Ophids only have ONE political party because they were ALL THERE.
The Tamer went and got ED the wonder-trained Dragon (ever see a drag actually LISTEN to everything the person who owns it says? And then go DO what the person says? Immediately? Me neither. Ed may be fictional as well, so obedient and dear was he) and Ed pulled our ahes out of the fire SEVERAL times running. We had BARELY made progress into the tunnels when all the stuff in the SWAMPY AREA suddenly RESPAWNED.
Ophids to the left of me
terries to the right,
there I was,
stuck in the middle with Ed.
And once you leave the swampy area you can't gate out. NEAT! Several of our little party took various forms of dirt nap. Eventually we battled our way back OUT to the swampy area and fled to Vesper.
We never even SAW a nightmare. That was when I realized the whole "mare" thing was a BIG SCAM! Do not be fooled by these stealth mages!
OR explain to me how one GETS to the place where mares spawn, and then, unable to gate, how one LEADS the mare all the many miles back through 750 billion ophids. Explain it slowly using small words. If it sounds at ALL believable, I shall revise my opinion and may eventually come to admit that mares MIGHT exist. Especially if your explanation starts out something like, "You gather about 750 players you don't like very much and tell them there is a birthday party going on with free cake and punch, and then you send them in first"
Love,
Pluffy
Visit Plush by Pluffy, a UO Decorator's Website
Here is what is really going on. High Level mages in a vast pony conspiracy are getting regular old horses and dipping them in a black dye tub. ALl these mages have GMed stealth. Once they sell you the pony, they follow you around in stealth mode, for MONTHS if necesary, up until the pony dies. When you tell the mare to attack something, they crouch behind a bush flamestriking your target and YOU foolishly think you actualy have a MAGIC HORSE!
How, you might ask, did I figure out this HAD to be going on?
Well, last night a little party of 3 pretty dern decent bards and a GM Tamer went to GET one of these so called "Nightmares." We gated into a swampy place and there found 700 million-trillion-billion ophids and piders whacking the stew out of each other and us. We all started Provving like mad until the little swampy area was FILLED with HUGE HORRIFIC CLOTS of HORRIBLE THINGS snarling and fussing at each other. Then we headed down into some tunnels CHOCK FULL of just snakey-poos, no distracting Spiders to get them off US unless we put them on each other. There were so dern MANY. I mean it was like the Ophidian National Convention and apparently the Ophids only have ONE political party because they were ALL THERE.
The Tamer went and got ED the wonder-trained Dragon (ever see a drag actually LISTEN to everything the person who owns it says? And then go DO what the person says? Immediately? Me neither. Ed may be fictional as well, so obedient and dear was he) and Ed pulled our ahes out of the fire SEVERAL times running. We had BARELY made progress into the tunnels when all the stuff in the SWAMPY AREA suddenly RESPAWNED.
Ophids to the left of me
terries to the right,
there I was,
stuck in the middle with Ed.
And once you leave the swampy area you can't gate out. NEAT! Several of our little party took various forms of dirt nap. Eventually we battled our way back OUT to the swampy area and fled to Vesper.
We never even SAW a nightmare. That was when I realized the whole "mare" thing was a BIG SCAM! Do not be fooled by these stealth mages!
OR explain to me how one GETS to the place where mares spawn, and then, unable to gate, how one LEADS the mare all the many miles back through 750 billion ophids. Explain it slowly using small words. If it sounds at ALL believable, I shall revise my opinion and may eventually come to admit that mares MIGHT exist. Especially if your explanation starts out something like, "You gather about 750 players you don't like very much and tell them there is a birthday party going on with free cake and punch, and then you send them in first"
Love,
Pluffy
Visit Plush by Pluffy, a UO Decorator's Website