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Standard Recruit Test Practice
The Town Guards held SRT practice on the evening of Wednesday, March 3, 2010. Goblins the Yattering and Bom Evilstench followed the guards from Britain to the guards' practice area at the Bagball Arena near Luna. Rather then further exacerbate the volatile relationship that currently exists between the guards and the goblins, Corporal Brackus ordered the guards to let the two goblins participate in the practice.
One of the commands the guards practiced was 'Present Role', which is used when the Town Guards are being inspected by an official. It is customary for the guards to respond to the command with their rank, name, and role within the guards:
Guard Alfred gave the standard reply.
The Corporal's dismay, The Yattering replied with loo ten it, and Bom Evilstench declared she is a 'pwincess'.
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During inspections, the guards are also asked to Present Arms, typically a melee weapon or spellbook. The Yattering, displayed the goblins weapon of choice by showing teeth.
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The guards also practice battle tactics When the command Present Fortification! is given, the guards each stack two crates in front of themselves to block any attackers. Not anticipating the goblins would be in attendance without crates, extra crates were not available, so the goblins didn't participate in the execution of that order. Rather, they set the crates on fire and discussed why they weren't participating in the drill.
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Then came the marching drill ...The goblins declared they already knew how to walk, and found it a bit silly the guards would need to learn walking.
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The command Stand Down! is typically given so the guards may stand at ease while being addressed by a superior officer or official. The goblins either slouched or stood 'at easy'.
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When the guards are being evaluated by an visiting official or dignitary, the Corporal will ask, Are there any formations you wish to evaluate us on? The visitor sometimes responds they would like to see the Wedge Formation and Cannae Formation executed, so the guards practice both. While the Corporal was explaining the purpose of the combat formations, the Yattering and Bom were discussing what they had observed thus far: "walking and standgins at easeings and playings with kiddie toys." When Corporal Brackus announced the first formation the guards would execute would be the Wedge, the goblins immediately misunderstood and started discussing cheese.
However, when the maneuver was executed, Bom and the Yattering fell right into formation!
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The Cannae Formation involves the guards moving to a single line, with the center positions dropping back inviting the enemy to attack the center allowing for encirclement of the enemy. The goblins were very exuberant and promptly displayed their goblin instincts once the Corporal was surrounded.
Corporal Brackus then invited spectator Mama Faith to participate in a practice formation.
Ayassa cheered as Mama Faith got ready ... but the practice didn't go quite as planned!
No one was injured, and the guards gave Mama Faith a big round of applause for being such a good sport.
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The guards also practice tactical orders such as making an arrest. The guards were ordered to surround and arrest the goblins. But, the goblins had other ideas and did what goblins do when being chased ... they disappeared, leaving the guards empty handed and a bit red-faced.
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Then came the fire practice. Typically a small fire is started, and the guards extinguish it.
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When an inspection is coming to a close, the Corporal will ask the visiting dignitary or office if there are any additional commands they would like to see executed. The Yattering and Bom had an order they would like to add to the guards standard instructions.
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Before Corporal Brackus dismissed the guards, he lead them in a chant of the Town Guards' creed, and the two goblins responded as best they could:
Duty, Loyalty, Respect
Selflessness, Discipline
Honor, Courage
Town Guards! Town Guards! Town Guards!
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submitted by Sara of Baja
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